Saturday, June 11, 2005

I Just Love to Jack Off!

Holy Shit it's been almost a month since I started this fucking blog and this is only my second post. Oh well, what the fuck? I doubt that anyone is reading my incoherent, witless, sex obsessed babbling anyway? It's Saturday night and I'm feeling horny as hell. I haven't masturbated all week which explains it I guess. Even at age 64 I can't go too long without jacking off or I just get super tense and horny.

I went to the mall today and as usual was mentally undressing every girl and woman in sight. Actually I've been doing that same undressing in my mind thing ever since I was a horny teenager so I guess nothing much has changed in that respect. Oh those young women, many of them admittedly jailbait, in their tight shorts! I even spotted a couple of "camel toes! BOING! Instant boner dude! In my younger days that would have been enough to make me find the nearest rest room toilet stall and rub one out right then and there. Now that I'm a senior citizen I can usually wait until I get home to whip out the old dick!

When you are fantasy fucking every female from 16 to 60 in sight, it's a sure sign that it's time to whip the ancient but still functioning pecker out and jack it off! Oh sure, getting sucked off or fucked would be MUCH better than jerking off but since there just ain't no women in my life or in my house at the moment I guess I'll just have to take things in hand if I want get the sexual relief I so urgently need and desire. The old right hand works just as well (okay ALMOST as well!) as it did when I was a horny teenager.

So for right now I think I'll just just lay on my bed and fantasize about eating and fucking and getting sucked off (Oh My God how I love blow jobs!) by one of those sexy young babes I saw at the mall today while I beat my meat! If anyone including the Pope doesn't approve of my favorite solitary activity... well fuck 'em! Mikey is getting ready to beat his meat! I'm so fucking horny I'm not even going to take my clothes off! Excuse me while I whip out the old dong and give it some that mouth you sweet young thing
A few minutes later...AH THAT FELT SO GOOD! Hey I make no apologies for and there are no guilt feelings whatsoever regarding my passion for masturbation. I just love to jack off! As Woody Allen said to Diane Keaton in "Annie Hall", "Don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love!" Truer words were never spoken my friends! Thanks for reading, see you next time!

Yeah that's really me jerking off in the photos above! At my age I have no shame!

No comments: