Saturday, November 26, 2005

Can You Blow Your Own Horn?



I have to admit that I sort of envy the very small minority of males who can suck their own cocks. I have never sucked a dick in my life and have no desire to do so. However, if I could give myself a blow job, you better believe that I would do it, and probably quite often! I mean nothing feels better than a blow job and if I could get my dick in my mouth, I would gladly suck myself off! I suspect most guys would do the same, even if they won't admit it to anyone but themselves. It's really just one step up from jacking off and we all do love that wonderful activity! I certainly could have saved a lot of money on dates, wives and whores too!

Yeah I have tried to get my cock in my mouth but like most guys, I am several inches short.  Damn the bad luck! Apparently you need extreme flexibility and an extra long dong to make it work and I am shit out of luck in both of those areas!


I am also not sure how I would handle a mouthful of cum. I tasted a little bit of my own jism a long time ago at the request of a girlfriend and readily admit it tasted awful. It gave me new awareness of why many women do NOT want you to shoot off in their mouth and/or get that "Ewwww!" expression on their face when you do. Even in porn where the girls are supposed to look pleased when Joe Longdong blasts off in their mouth you can tell they would much rather be somewhere else…anywhere else!  I suppose you could always pull your dong out of your mouth and aim away at the last minute. Give yourself a facial? Uh…Personally speaking I don't think so! Trouble is cumming in the mouth is absolutely the best part of a blow job…but would I have the "balls" to do it in my own mouth? I don't know…and maybe it's just as well I'll never have the chance to find out!


Come to think of it maybe it's just as well that most of us guys can't suck our own dicks. It's embarrassing enough when your mom or sister or wife...or anybody catches you jacking off. Can you imagine them walking in on you  while you're giving yourself a blow job? You'd never live down the embarrassment! And yet...and yet...if I could do it, OH HELL YEAH I would suck myself off! Wouldn't you? And wouldn't you ladies lick your own pussies (which would be even harder to do, huh?) if you could? Oh you just know you would! If I after death I ever come back in another form (which I frankly doubt!) I hope it's as a male dog! They do lots of fucking and can lick themselves in their best places! Scarlett Johansson's doggy would be nice! Scarlett better not bend over when coming out of the shower though! Woof! Woof!  Oh Mikey behave yourself!


In conclusion let me say that life just isn't fair my friends! Some guys have all the luck! Thanks for reading, see you next time!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I SURE DO IT IF I CAN

Shay said...

That looks like it might be painful...
Yet, I am very good at this one yoga position where, if I were a guy, I would have most of my own cock in my mouth - and it's a perfectly comfterble position. I could teach it to you guys, maybe. ^_~

Anonymous said...

I dream about put my own cock into my mouth ... I like masturbation, change photos ... and be rape by someone, man, woman ... I just dream ...

Anonymous said...

i also have tried sometimes, but to no avail :(