Yeah I have tried to get my cock in my mouth but like most guys, I am several inches short. Damn the bad luck! Apparently you need extreme flexibility and an extra long dong to make it work and I am shit out of luck in both of those areas!
Come to think of it maybe it's just as well that most of us guys can't suck our own dicks. It's embarrassing enough when your mom or sister or wife...or anybody catches you jacking off. Can you imagine them walking in on you while you're giving yourself a blow job? You'd never live down the embarrassment! And yet...and yet...if I could do it, OH HELL YEAH I would suck myself off! Wouldn't you? And wouldn't you ladies lick your own pussies (which would be even harder to do, huh?) if you could? Oh you just know you would! If I after death I ever come back in another form (which I frankly doubt!) I hope it's as a male dog! They do lots of fucking and can lick themselves in their best places! Scarlett Johansson's doggy would be nice! Scarlett better not bend over when coming out of the shower though! Woof! Woof! Oh Mikey behave yourself!
In conclusion let me say that life just isn't fair my friends! Some guys have all the luck! Thanks for reading, see you next time!