Thursday, December 01, 2005

Jacking Off to Martha Stewart

Horny Old Guy is proud to announce that his Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month will be Martha Stewart! Yes my friends, every Saturday night in December I will stay home and jerk off while watching videos of sweet Martha's TV show. If that doesn't give you an idea how fucking desperate my sex life is, nothing will! Since Martha is in the slammer I will include some jailhouse fantasies too, complete with a couple of jailhouse lezbos in supporting roles. I may need to pop a Viagra to get my weenie to stand up for this one but I'm sure the end result will definitely be "a good thing"! Happy Holidays Martha and I just LOVE those new Martha Stewart sheets I got on sale last week at K Mart! By the way, the cashier at K Mart told me there was no truth to the rumor that they would be carrying the "Martha Stewart Dildo". Sorry ladies but your Hitachi Magic Wands probably work better anyway!

Could this be Martha on the right doing some cooking in the buff? Uh probably not but it's one of the pics I found when I did a search for "Martha Stewart nude" on Google. Unfortunately I couldn't find anything but fake pictures! Watch out you don't splash any grease on your fur pies ladies!

Yeah this pic is obviously faked too! Your fantasies can come true with Photoshop folks! Join in the festivities with me as we all beat our meat to Martha Stewart all through the month! May your Martha Stewart fantasies be good ones! See ya' next time you happy homemakers!


Anonymous said...

Heehee! Amazing what you come up with when you search for things on the web. You are too funny!

Richard Lovel said...

Actually, I've had a few erections for Martha. Haven't given her a full ejaculation, yet, but I could easily see myself doing it. There's something about a powerful public woman that sets me to pulsating.