Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy Fucking New Year...Again!

My end of year post for 2005 entitled "Happy Fucking New Year" pretty much told you what I think about New Year's Eve...I really don't like it! Too much noise, too many drunks, too much vandalism, too many people pretending to have fun! A good night for staying home and jacking off as I said last year. You might as well get your gun (the one between your legs of course!) off one more time before Father Time brings us all one calendar year closer to the grave! On many a New Year's Eve I've done just that...stayed home and jacked off...and with a little help from my friend Jack Daniels I've made it through the night.

Of course things have changed since I now have a regular girlfriend (Marcella) and they were a bit different when I was in relationships at any time in my life...but I still don't care much for the day...or I should say the night before! Actually in my MUCH younger days I thought that I had to be out there with the rest of the fools but those days were over by my thirties. With a little maturity comes a little wisdom although in my case it's admittedly been very little! There's of course nothing wrong with a small party, getting together with friends or just going out to dinner and a movie with your sweetie. That's what Marcella and I are planning for this New Year's Eve. Marcy asked her delicious roommate Patty if she wanted to come along but she said no. She said she just wants to stay home and watch the festivities on TV and I think she's got the right idea too. I'd like to have my own private festivities with Patty but that's another story. What a PARTY that would be!!! One of my New Year's resolutions ought to be to stop lusting after Patty so much but I'm sure that's a New Year's resolution I could never keep! She's a babe!

Marcella is staying over here on New Year's Eve. We'll probably have a couple of drinks and with any luck I'll have my face or my dick buried in her warm muff at the stroke of midnight. Maybe I can time it so that I blast off just as the ball drops in Times Square. Now that would be my kind of New Year's Eve! No church for Marcy to get up for on Monday so I should be assured of one of her nice juicy cum-in-mouth blow jobs when we wake up in the morning. What better way to start the new year?

It's been a a good year for the Horny Old Guy. Of course most important was meeting Marcella and beginning a new relationship with her after several years of not being in a relationship and without almost any sex at all, aside from my compulsive jacking off of course! The steady companionship and regular sex has definitely been good for me. I feel a lot better, my blood pressure is down and I even wake up more often with "morning wood". Hopefully the relationship with Marcella will continue throughout 2007, although I still think of it as an "affair" and I think Marcella feels the same way. I think I speak for us both when I say we aren't really "in love". We like and respect each other, enjoy each other's company and we love to fuck each other. For now that's more than enough...we'll just have to see what the future brings. One thing I do know...if Marcella ever discovers this fucking blog, it's all over! She would not be amused about me babbling on about our sex life, to say nothing of learning about my lust for her roommate Patty.

This was the year that I had a vasectomy so there is no more need for condoms as long as I stay monogamous, which I definitely intend to do...despite my lust for Patty! Getting a vasectomy is something I should have done thirty five years ago...but better late than never! No more fucking with condoms! Hallelujah! I just love bareback fucking and so does Marcella and I can thank her for giving me the incentive to finally get the painless snipping done. This was also the year that I thought I was going to be in a documentary movie about masturbation...talking about jacking off and actually doing it for the camera...but I got turned down by the gal doing the project. I'm still not sure if I had the "balls" to go through with it but still more than a little pissed that I wasn't even asked. Who else but yours truly the Horny Old Guy would be a better spokesman for the great sport of jacking off? Talk about being an expert on the subject! Over 50 years of experience! What a casting mistake that was! Oh goes on!

Enough rambling for this last post of 2006. I sincerely hope that 2007 is a good and sexy year for you all. Thanks for reading this poorly written nonsense for the last year or however long you have been reading. I've been getting 250-300 hits a day, as many as 600 on some days and getting close to 4500 profile views. I get very few comments so I have no idea who most of these people are. Of course one look is enough for some and they are out of here for good. I can understand that. To those of you who come back again and again, I really do appreciate that! If I've offended anyone with my crudity or my stupidity in the past year, my sincerest apologies. To all of you...a Happy New Year! See you in 2007!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Meet the Folkers...I Mean Filipinos!

Ah Christmas is over and it was a good one for me but as usual on the day after I'm glad it's over, more so than ever this year because meeting my much younger girlfriend Marcella's parents is also over and I survived the experience. More about that shortly. I hope it was a good Christmas for you.

Marcella came over as planned on Saturday afternoon and we went straight to bed for a lovely pre-holiday afternoon fuck. Life is good! It got even better when she sucked me off later in the evening. She had to get up extra early on Sunday morning for a Christmas Eve morning mass so she gave me my ritual Sunday morning blow job the night before. That works for me! I didn't even hear her get out of bed to go to church on Sunday morning but went over to her and Patty's apartment later on. We all went out to a champagne brunch and then came back to their place to open presents in the afternoon. I got another warm kiss (my second!) from Patty when she opened the iPod I got her, a last minute replacement for the Hitachi Magic Wand vibe that I really wanted to give addition to the "big salami" I'd REALLY like to give her of course! Marcella nixed the Hitachi vibe idea so I picked up an extra iPod for Patty, the same model I bought for Marcella. Both women were very happy with their gifts. I got some nice things from Marcella (mostly clothing) and even a sweater from Patty, although I liked the kiss from her even more. Oh how I would like to....oh you know!

Saturday night we sent out for pizza and then I pulled out the evening's entertainment..."Debbie Does Dallas" on DVD. Marcella had been wanting to see a porn flick since she'd never seen one. It turns out Patty hadn't seen one either. Some people watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street" on Christmas Eve. We watched "Debbie Does Dallas"! Well, what do you expect from the Horny Old Guy? It was a hoot watching it with the two women! You never heard so many "OH MY GOD!"'s or so much giggling or so many gasps in your life! Of course I developed a throbbing hard on as soon as the shower room scene came on ten minutes into the movie but this was no time to whip my dong out and jack it off which is what I felt like doing. Marcella sitting next to me on the couch noticed my bulge and whispered something to Patty and they both giggled. They really enjoyed their first XXX rated movie. So did I, even with my throbbing boner and no place to put it! Compared to most modern day porn, "Debbie Does Dallas" is FUN and holds up very well. It sure held my dick up very well anyway!

I wish I could say the evening ended with a threesome or at least another nice juicy fuck or blow job from Marcella but it didn't. Marcella really doesn't want to fuck even in her own bedroom when Patty is in the apartment. I'm not sure why. Marcy is pretty noisy while having orgasms when I go down on her...that may be it... or maybe she's just uncomfortable fucking with someone in the next room. Anyway that restrictive policy of hers meant of course no nookie for Mikey on Christmas Eve. After getting good night and "Thanks for the gifts!" kisses from both women I left their apartment high and dry and still with a semi-stiffy about 10:00 pm.

I went home, went right to bed and jacked off. Fantasies of Debbie from the movie (she's a babe!) turned into fantasies of Patty doing all those same nasty things from the movie to me. I shot my wad as I fantasized Patty giving me a blow job and then cumming in her mouth in the school library, another great scene from the movie. A few minutes after I blasted off I came back to reality when I remembered that the next day (Christmas) I had to meet Marcella's parents. "Holy shit!" said the Horny Old Guy...and then he drifted off to sleep. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!

The Christmas dinner and meeting Marcy's parents went about as well as I expected it to...which was not very good! Dinner was at Patty's house here in Stockton. Marcella's parents came in from the Bay Area. So I had to meet two sets of Filipino parents instead of one. There were also a bunch of other relatives, young and old. About twenty Filipinos and one horny old white guy! Uh huh! Of course I was on my best gentlemanly behavior and trying to make a good impression. They were all nice to me but I definitely felt like an outsider. Marcy and Patty were in the kitchen helping Patty's mom prepare dinner so I spent most of the time with the other people in the living room up until dinner time. Some of them were speaking that Filipino language which didn't help communication. I really didn't know what to say to them. Thank God there was a football game on the TV to divert us all.

When I was introduced to Marcella's parents, I could tell by the look on their faces that they were not at all thrilled about Marcy's choice of a male companion and the probable fucker of their precious daughter. I'm pretty sure the age difference rather than the race difference was the biggest factor in their displeasure. Marcy's mom actually looked a bit in shock when she first saw me! I can't say that I blame them that much. As I mentioned in my last post if my daughter Jennie (now 40) brought home an old fart my age, I would not be overjoyed. I would however recognize her right to date or even marry whoever she chooses and treat whoever she brings home with courtesy. Marcy's parents pretty much did the same to me so I have no complaints. The dinner was fine and conversation with Marcella and Patty helped me make it through the meal. After dessert and coffee I excused myself with the explanation that I had to get home and call my daughter to wish her a Merry Christmas. We all shook hands and said "Nice to have met you!" and I left without even kissing Marcella goodbye. It seemed like the best thing to do under the circumstances. I breathed a BIG sigh of relief as I left that house!

Thank God it's over! I talked to Marcy on the phone last night and she said that mommy and daddy indeed did think I was too old for her but she really didn't care. That's all I wanted to hear! Today the whole situation seems a bit more humorous than it did yesterday...the whole house full of Filipinos with me, the lone honky, feeling like a fish out of water...the look on Marcy's mom's face when she saw me...LOL! When crazy, embarrassing things happen to you, it helps if you can laugh about them...even if it takes a bit of time passing in order to do so. I survived my "Meet the Filipinos" to move on! I'll ponder all that later on! Enough for now, have a good post Christmas week folks and as always thanks for reading about the lame misadventures of the Horny Old Dude! Bye for now!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry XXXmas!

As I said at the beginning of LAST YEAR'S Christmas post, "Well what did you expect from the Horny Old Guy, a Nativity scene?"  Christmas is indeed almost here again and Mike the Horny Old Guy wishes all of you a Merry Christmas. Most of us have some fond memories of past Christmases with family and friends and look forward to each new Christmas. I'm no exception and do enjoy the season but sort of breath a sigh of relief when it's over. I really don't like Christmas shopping at all...all those crowds on the roads and highways and in the stores...UGH! I've got all of my Christmas shopping done now so I can just relax on the weekend. No way will I go anywhere near the mall for the next two days!

Marcella is coming over on Saturday to spend the night (nookie time for Mikey!) and then we are going to open presents at her and Patty's apartment and go out for a champagne brunch on Sunday which is Christmas Eve of course. Hopefully there will be some mistletoe placed over Patty's luscious young butt. I know I'm planning on hanging some above my weenie! Marcella and I were really considering getting Patty a Hitachi Magic Wand vibe for Christmas but Marcella decided it was not a proper Christmas present for a Catholic girl and changed her mind at the last minute. We should have given it to her for her birthday last week I guess! Patty has probably got a vibe anyway although Marcella says she's never seen it. I'd like to stick my own personal "Magic Wand" in Patty if you know what I mean and I think you do! Oh behave Mike! It's Christmas time!

I am truly dreading Monday, Christmas day! Marcella's parents are coming over from the Bay Area to Marcella and Patty's apartment and then they all are going to Patty's parents' house here in Stockton for dinner. Of course I am invited too. Marcy has been wanting me to meet her mom and dad but I feel really uncomfortable about it. I've always felt uncomfortable meeting girlfriends' parents and hoped that those days were over for good. With me being 28 years older than Marcy and of a different race, this may be the parents meeting and Christmas dinner from Hell! Marcy has told her parents that she is dating an older Caucasian guy but she hasn't told them how much older I am! Frankly if my daughter Jennie who is now 40 brought home an 68 year old dude of any race, I'd probably be giving that lecherous old fart the evil eye too! Dads are dads and they are also guys and they always seem to suspect that you are slipping the big salami to their precious daughter. In my case that has usually been true and it's definitely true now! It's going to be deja vu all over again for Mikey...and this time even worse! Oh well, I'm brave and I'm going! It's either that or go down to McDonald's for some Turkey McNuggets...which come to think of it would be a lot less stressful!

If Marcella's old man hasn't shot me or chased me out of town, I'll be back on Tuesday with the scoop on my "Meet the Folkers"..I mean "Meet the Filipinos" experience although I have a feeling this will make that Folkers movie look like a love fest among the Nelson family (Ozzie and Harriet!) Your prayers for Monday will be sincerely appreciated. I wish you all a wonderful holiday weekend. As always thanks for reading this nonsense! Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Patty Lust!

Well the high point of my weekend was a kiss on the lips (resulting in a big fat hard on!) from Marcella's sweetie pie roommate Patty. If you've been reading this blog regularly you know that I've had the hots for Patty ever since Marcella introduced me to her. That's not Patty's picture at the left but it reminds me of her and gives you an idea what a babe she is. Unfortunately I've never seen Patty wearing that T shirt e Patty is a Filipina like Marcella but 8 1/2 years younger than Marcy with a trimmer figure with smaller boobs and butt. Actually the two women look almost like sisters. Patty hasn't got a boyfriend and Marcella says she hasn't had one (or even a date!) since they have been living together, about six years I believe. Marcella thinks Patty may even be a virgin but at age 30 (as of yesterday) I find that hard to believe. She's only mentioned one guy she dated in high school to Marcella and apparently they didn't fuck. Oh well...that's none of my business anyway!

From the beginning I've had lots of nasty thoughts and jack off fantasies about Patty although I'm reasonably sure that's as far as things will ever go between us (sigh). I have too much respect for Marcella to try to put the make on her roommate or anyone else for that matter. Besides let's face it, an old fart like me would most likely be properly rebuffed by Patty anyway! As I've said before I really am quite faithful in my relationships. I expect fidelity from my partners and I think I owe them the same fidelity. That's obviously more important than ever nowadays. I don't think there is too much wrong with looking and fantasizing and masturbating though. I'll admit that sometimes when I am in reality fucking Marcella I am fucking Patty (or Scarlett Johannson!) in my mind. If Marcy is fucking Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp in her mind, that's okay with me too! Whether you are by yourself or with a partner, fantasies can really spice up your sex life in my most humble and most ancient opinion!

So yesterday was Patty's birthday. She turned 30 years old although she still looks more like 18. She had no party but to celebrate I took her and Marcella out to a movie and a nice dinner at an Indian restaurant (Patty's choice on both). Cocktails and several glasses of wine had us all pretty loosened up (and me hardened up!) by the time we got back to their apartment. Actually this would have been a good time to look at the  "Debbie Does Dallas" porno movie Marcella had been wanting to see but unfortunately I didn't bring that nasty DVD with me. We popped the cork on a bottle of champagne and sat around and talked for a while. The alcohol seemed to have made Marcella much more talkative than I've seen her so far but Patty was her usual shy and quiet self. As usual nasty thoughts of a threesome or at least a Patty fuck were running through my dirty mind as I gazed on the lovely Patty across the room!

At about 11 o'clock the women decided it was time for them to go to bed so I prepared to go home myself. Marcy was in the bathroom while Patty was thanking me for the dinner and movie. She gave me a big hug (my first one from her!) and and then we spontaneously kissed on the lips. Wow! The kiss combined with the feel of her warm, soft breasts against my chest did the usual magic on throbbing boner! All of a sudden we heard Marcella who had just come out of the bathroom jokingly say "Okay! That's enough of that stuff!" and we pulled apart. I kissed Marcella (which is old stuff by now!) and stumbled out of their apartment, my knees still shaking from the warm kiss from Patty and my cock still throbbing so hard it felt like it was about to burst out of my pants!

My boner was throbbing all the way home! I went right to my bedroom, threw off all of my clothes, jumped into bed and started jacking off while fantasizing about the things I'd really like to do to Patty. Fantasies of sucking her tits, licking her pussy, letting her suck me and finally sticking my cock into that tight young (possibly virgin?) pussy and fucking...fucking...fucking her! My ejaculation came quickly and even though Marcy and I had fucked on Saturday night and she gave me my ritual Sunday morning blow job this was the best and most powerful eruption of the weekend. Of course when it was all over I suddenly felt a bit guilty. "You dirty old man!" I thought to myself! That's probably as good as it will ever get with Patty but as I've said many times before, at my age you have to take your thrills where you can find them! Again there just ain't nothing wrong with fantasy...or jacking off either. Combine them and you really can have some fun! Life is good for the Horny Old Guy!

Back to reality this morning, even though I've sprung another boner just thinking and writing about that kiss and what it did to me! Only one week left until Christmas so I guess I better get my lazy ass out and do the rest of my shopping. Enjoy the week y'all and thanks for reading about my lust for Patty! Yeah I know...I should be ashamed of myself!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

In Praise of Charlotte!

I was flipping through the cable movie channels a couple of weeks ago and came across a foreign movie called "The Swimming Pool" with Charlotte Rampling. Now I've had a hard on for Sweet Charlotte for the last forty years, ever since I saw her in a British movie called "The Knack" which was her first film I believe. Most Americans probably aren't too familiar with Charlotte since she hasn't done that many films in this country but she is very well known and regarded as one of the finest actresses in the world in Britain and Europe. The scene at left is from "Zardoz" which she did with Sean Connery. Lucky baby! Can I be next?

From the beginning of her career, Charlotte has been willing to take her clothes off and do sex scenes in movies and of course that has REALLY endeared her to me. Yup she's been in many a jack off fantasy for yours truly, the Horny Old Guy! Looking at these pictures I think you can understand why! What a babe!

I found it interesting that even in "The Swimming Pool" (above) which was made in 2003 when I believe Charlotte was 57 she was still willing to shed those clothes, do full frontal nudity and do sex scenes. As you can see she's still a babe, still very fuckable! Yeah I admit it...I jacked off while I watched the flick. There is a much younger woman in it, very sexy and naked much of the movie, but I couldn't keep my eyes off Charlotte with or without her clothes on. Who says I only go ga-ga over younger women? If they all looked like Charlotte, you might find me hanging around senior centers instead of high schools!  Just kidding about the high schools of course...sort of! Actually it's just look but don't touch there and your fantasies will set you free...but I digress from my subject and my object of desire for today... the lovely and talented Ms. Rampling!

So Charlotte will be 61 in February, probably the first sex symbol of that age and I say "Good for her!" One of Ms. Rampling's most recent movies (which I haven't seen) is "Heading South" (left) where she plays a tourist on vacation in Haiti in search of some young black cock and willing to pay for it! I strongly suspect there is some nudity and sex in this one too and I'll be looking forward to seeing it on DVD or cable TV soon. My dick will be standing at attention just hoping and praying for some more bare skin from Charlotte! You can have your Bald Beaver Britney but I'll take Sweet Charlotte with her natural bush at any age! She still looks good enough to eat!

Ten more shopping days to Christmas! I better stop jacking off to elderly movie stars and get out and get my shopping done! I'm thinking about an iPod for Marcella and a Hitachi Magic Wand (the Mercedes of women's vibrators so I'm told!) for Patty. Actually I'd rather give Patty a big meat stick for Christmas and I ain't talkin' about no Hickory Farms if you know what I mean and I think you do! Oh behave yourself Mike you horny old bastard! Now you folks all behave  too and have a great weekend! As always, thanks for reading this crap! What better way to close than with a shot of Charlotte Rampling's much younger and very fine butt from one of her sexiest movies "The Night Porter". Bye bye for now!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Modern Porn Truly Sucks!

Well I hope everyone had a good weekend. Marcella did more Christmas shopping than fucking Mikey this weekend and I even missed my ritual Sunday morning blow job when she got up and left for church before I even woke up. Bummer! A sweet young thing (actually one of my blog readers!) gave me some nice verbal inspiration via Instant Messaging which encouraged me to sort of "take things in hand" though and I made up for that missed Sunday morning BJ. That was fun! Thanks to that darlin'!!!

I went out and did a bit of Christmas shopping myself Sunday afternoon and decided to stop in at my local sex shop to check out the latest porno DVDs. My God that stuff is looking worse than ever! Modern day porno truly SUCKS, no pun intended! Nobody can ever accuse me of being a prude. I mean I love erotica, I love sex and I love GOOD pornography! Some of my happiest days were spent jerking off to "Debbie Does Dallas" and other nasty XXX flicks at the old Pussycat Theater in Sacramento! Most of the modern day crap is a total turn off for me though. Yeah maybe it's because I'm an old fart and way behind the times but I don't I'm SURE that I wouldn't have been attracted to this garbage on the horniest day of my horny youth! Hmmmm...maybe that's going a little too far! LOL

Does anybody really get aroused by titles like "Motherfucking Gang Bang", "Weapons of Ass Destruction" (LOL) and "D.P. That White Pussy"? I'm sure the answer to that is yes they do or the stuff wouldn't be there. It appears to be the crap that sells in the current market and in my humble opinion just another sad commentary on the state of modern culture and modern society. It all seems so cruel and mean spirited...gang banging, face fucking, gagging, rape, S and M. Most of it is extremely aggressive and demeaning towards women and I can fully understand the feminist complaints about it. Whatever happened to the porn where both sexes were having consensual fun and it usually involved just two people, well at least no more than three when there was a threesome scene? Admittedly there could sometimes be a bit of the dark side of sex in the old porn and yeah there was always more pleasure for men than women (lots more blow jobs than pussy eating for instance) but nothing like this mean spirited, ugly shit! It appears to me that they have taken the joy out of sex and erotica which is really not a good thing!

If the titles and subject matter weren't enough to turn you off, I've read that THOUSANDS of pornos are now made each year. The market is so fragmented that there is little incentive to produce anything of quality. Anyone with a camcorder, a motel room, a couple of siliconed, tattooed, pierced whores and a stud who can keep his dong up for more than ten minutes (frequently with the help of Viagra) can and does make and sell porn videos. All the money really goes into those color DVD covers...what's inside the DVD case is more than likely to be of pathetic quality in every respect. I suppose there is a very small amount of worthwhile modern porn out there somewhere but I really don't know where to find it. The reviews I've found on line really don't give me much confidence that any of it suits my taste. I mean if it's not going to turn me on, not going to give me a hard on and make me want to jack off...why bother? Life is too short to view trash whether it's in the form of prime time network television, an Adam Sandler movie or a boring, sloppily and cheaply made porno DVD. Life is also too short to write or read my goofy blog but that's another story! LOL again!

I looked through a couple of hundred DVD covers in the sex shop yesterday and couldn't find even one that interested or inspired me at all. The classics like "Debbie Does Dallas", "Opening of Misty Beethoven" and the Mitchell Brothers "Autobiography of a Flea" are hard to find nowadays in the sex shops and DVD rental stores although some are available for sale on line. I've got a few of those primo titles in my personal collection and they are all I need when I need a dose of porno to bring the old pecker to life again. Marcella has never seen a porn feature and wants me to show her one. Maybe we can invite her roommate Patty over too! Ah Patty! Now just the thought of that sweetie does more for me and my ancient but still functioning dick than all of the modern porn in that sex shop! On that happy and penis expanding note I'll stop whining about modern porn and wish you all a great week!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Britney Bares Bald Beaver!

Well I probably ought to save these pictures and make Britney Spears a future "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" but since I have nothing else to babble about this morning I thought I'd post them now for your viewing pleasure if you haven't seen them. They are all over the web of course. A couple of weeks ago Britney got out of a car in a rather skimpy dress. Of course all of the photographers were waiting and she gave them a special treat by conveniently forgetting to wear her panties that night. Yup a full view of Britney's Bald Beaver! If that wasn't enough, when she turned her back they got a look and a shot of Britney's Bum (well at least half of it!) For those celebrity chasing photographers it just doesn't get much better than that! Their cameras were clicking and their dicks were throbbing!

These pictures will be around forever! Long after people have forgotten Britney and what little talent she has these pictures will be floating around in cyberspace and horny guys of all ages will be discovering them, ogling them and jacking off to them. It's sort of like Marilyn Monroe (who had lots of talent!) and the nude calendar picture which she posed for at the beginning of her career. Over forty years after her death, it's still one of most famous and most viewed images of her. It's sort of hard to feel too sorry for Britney. Those photographers admittedly are a royal pain in the ass but when you go to a public event wearing no panties and almost no dress and flashing your beaver...well what do you expect?

Here's a bit of good news for horndogs of all ages! SCARLETT JOHANSSON, one of the real babes in Hollywood (a very talented actress too!) and probably my favorite "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" has said that she has decided that she will do a nude scene in a future movie, although what movie that will be has not been decided. Hallelujah! Life is good! Up until now Scarlett has declined to do any nudity. She now says she that is proud of her body, especially her breasts (I don't blame her there!) and actually wants to do some nudity. Ah just thinking of sweet Scarlett in the nude gives me a hard on! Definitely something to look forward to for this horny old guy and I suspect I have lots of company!

It looks like a rainy and windy weekend in store for us here in Stockton town. Marcella will be here again so that's okay. Rainy days are just made for fucking you know! Wherever you are, whatever the weather, whatever you are doing...enjoy the weekend! And now to get back to daydreams and sexual fantasies of a nude Scarlett! You know I think I've already forgotten about Britney's Bald Beaver! Bye bye!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Am I a Sex Addict?

So Marcella came over on the weekend as planned. We fucked on Saturday afternoon and again on Saturday night. Sunday morning she gave me her now ritual Sunday morning blow job (the high point of my week by the way!) before getting up to go to church. After she left for church I was laying in bed drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper. I soon found myself ogling the babes in bras and panties in the K Mart and Target lingerie ads. At the same time hand was rubbing my dick and I was fantasizing that I was fucking all three of the babes (pictured above) in the Target ad. After all that sex with Marcy I was already jacking off again! It's at times like this that I truly wonder if I am indeed a sex addict!

Actually the lingerie ad thing may just be force of habit. I've been checking those things out since before puberty I think. I mean babes in bras and panties...what's not to like about that? I think I had that concept all figured out about the age of 10! When puberty hit, those ads became even more exciting...and necessary! I've mentioned before that back in the dark ages of the 1950's there was very little visual inspiration for jacking off available to us horny young bastards, not that we really needed THAT much inspiration you understand! When I couldn't find a picture of a topless Balinese or African maiden in National Geographic magazine, the best next thing to take with me into the bathroom was the family Sears Roebuck or Montgomery Ward catalog. Those dog eared lingerie pages got lots of views and probably more than a few cum stains on them in our household. I noticed my dad paid quite a bit of attention to them too!

Ever since those horny teen years I can't pass up lingerie ads in newspapers or magazines without taking a good look and playing a little game I've played since puberty. The models are usually in pairs or groups of three or four. I look at each pair of scantily clad babes and decide which one is more attractive to me and then I fantasize what it would be like to be fucking that one. Hey at my age I have to take my thrills where I can find them folks...but like I say this is nothing new for me. I've been doing this same goofy thing since puberty. Of course my fantasies are frequently accompanied by jacking off. I wonder if other guys do this or if it's just nut cases like myself.

I distinctly remember one ad my friend Brian found when we were both teenagers. In the ad the model's panties showed just a little "camel toe". He kept that wrinkled up page in his back pocket for months...or maybe even years! You could actually see the outline of that mysterious crack where we all wanted to stick our weenies! Wow! It just didn't get much better than that in those days! Camel toes were almost as unknown in lingerie ads back then as they are now. I'm sure Photoshop takes care of any unwanted see through nipples or camel toes nowadays but I'm always on the lookout for them nonetheless!

So much for lingerie ads! Getting back to the question as to whether I'm a sex addict or just a normal red blooded American horny old guy. As much as I talk about sex in this silly ass blog, it's really not the only aspect of my life. I'm involved in lots of other worthwhile and enjoyable things every day that I never mention here. Yeah I fantasize about sex every day. I check out the babes on line and everywhere I go when I'm off line. I'm in a good sexual relationship now, the first in a quite a while for me, and yeah I still do have the hots for Marcella's sweetie pie roommate Patty

I also have a quite healthy passion for jacking off that's been with me since I first discovered that wonderful sport at about the age of 12. All those things I mentioned are all pretty typical for males I think, although I'm not so sure they are typical for a 66 year old fart like myself. None of my friends near my age seems to be as horny as I am although they may be just keeping it to themselves. One buddy has admitted to me that he would rather watch a good football game than fuck. I sincerely hope I never reach that stage!

I am truly faithful in my relationship with Marcella though and I've always been faithful in my relationships. One woman at a time is more than enough for me! I expect my partners to be faithful to me (especially nowadays!) and I certainly owe them the same fidelity. Even if I had the chance to slip the salami to sweet young Patty (fat fucking chance!) I would reluctantly turn her down (sigh!) I don't go to whores or massage parlors either, not while I'm in or out of relationships. Oh I've gone to whores  in my distant past but some years ago, about the time that AIDS raised it's ugly head, I decided those days were over for good. I don't run up big bills for internet porn (there is more than enough free stuff to get me off!) nor engage in paid phone sex. In fact the only phone sex I ever had is when one gal got the wrong number in the middle of the night and started talking dirty to me. I'll admit I've cybered in chat rooms a very few times but it didn't do that much for me. It's sort of hard to type with one hand and it seems like to takes fucking forever before you finally get to blast off! I do surf for porn and visit other sex sites on the web and of course spend some time on this blog but I don't spend over a couple hours a day total on all those activities.

Nah I guess I'm not a sex addict after all. Having an addiction to anything, be it cigarettes or booze or drugs or whores or phone sex is not a good thing so I guess I should be pleased. In fact I am pleased! I suppose some would say that I have an addiction to jacking off but since that act is completely normal and healthy with no side effects and is also the safest form of sex you can have that is one addiction I can live with. I guess I'm just a normal, healthy, horny old fart! Hell Bill Clinton is much more of a sex addict than I am although when Monica got on her knees with her mouth open who can blame old "Bubba" for whipping out the "first pecker"? Hmmmm...I wonder if that other guy now in the White House ever gets tempted in the oval office? Actually a little nookie or a BJ on the side might do him some good. Sexually satisfied presidents seem to make more intelligent decisions...oops, sorry...I try to keep politics out of this blog! You da man, Dubya!

Well now that I've psychoanalyzed myself and figured out that I'm really NOT a sex addict I'm so happy that I think I'll just...jack off! I've already read a sexy story on another blog this morning by a "mystery woman" who has given me some "morning wood" and put me in the mood to do just that. Have a great addiction free week my horny friends in cyberspace!