Monday, January 23, 2006
My Thirties (Part 4) Back to Jacking Off...Again!!!
I went into a funk after my divorce from Julia just like I did after the divorce from Margaret. This one wasn't nearly as bad though and only lasted a short time. It's probably because I really wanted to get out of the marriage this time because of Julia's cheating on me. There was also no young daughter that I dearly loved and missed to complicate my feelings as there had been with my divorce from my first wife Margaret. I felt like a failure both times even though this time the divorce was definitely not my fault. Divorce can be painful regardless of the circumstances involved. I was pretty determined that I would never make the marriage mistake again...and to this day I haven't! Time heals all wounds though...or at least most of them!
Soon after Julia left I began feeling horny again. The first couple of times I tried to jack off I couldn't even get my dick hard, although I was eventually able to ejaculate since you don't need a full erection to jack off. I wondered if I was becoming impotent at such a young age. There were still porno theaters around so I started going back to them and soon had no trouble springing big boners and jacking off while watching the porn. Soon I didn't even need the porn to get my pecker to spring to attention and be ready for some exercise. However the VCR had just been introduced so I bought one of those things along with a few porno tapes for my at home viewing and masturbating pleasure. Every little bit of diversion you can find helps when you're trying to get over a personal crisis, a marriage break up in particular!
Later I bought a black and white video camera and occasionally videotaped myself performing my favorite solo activity. The video frame above is from the first jack off video I ever shot of myself with my video camera, in 1977 I believe. Of course I'd done the same thing with my 8mm and Super 8 movie cameras a few times but video made it much easier for us horndogs to produce our own home made porno, even when we were just by ourselves...and yeah I know...that's silly!
So it was back to almost daily jacking off again. It felt strange after four years of Julia taking care of almost all of my sexual needs but I soon got used to doing it myself and jerking off still felt just as good as it always did. Something was missing though. Once you get used to regular blow jobs and pussy as well as the other non-sexual benefits of female companionship, it's sort of hard to do without them. After about six months of moping and jerking off I was about ready to go out and search for some new poontang again! This time I was determined there would be no wedding rings involved!