Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Thoughts on Inflatable Women
It always sort of tickles me when I see those silly looking inflatable love dolls in the sex shops. I can just see some lonely, fat middle aged dude fucking one of those balloons. Oh I will admit that way back in my horny thirties, between relationships, I was tempted when I saw an ad in a sleazy skin magazine for the "Linda Lovelace Inflatable Love Doll With A Vibrating Pussy and Three Love Holes" (LOL) ($59.95 plus shipping and handling, batteries not included) but then I thought about what if one of my future girlfriends would find it and either be outraged or have a laughing fit. I thought about what if I died and my friends or family would find that damn thing! I decided I just better just keep using my hand to get myself off.
I did buy a masturbation sleeve one time. It was called a "Pocket Pussy" and was a tube shaped thing with a vagina like opening. You put your lubricated dick in that opening and put the device and your body up against a pillow and did the fucking motions. It felt just a bit like the real thing (fucking) but not nearly as good as soft, warm flesh. It was a change of pace from jacking off but I worried about someone finding that goofy red colored thing too and finally as a joke threw it in a box of stuff for Goodwill, complete with original carton and instructions. I would have loved to see the face on the guy or gal who unpacked that box! Who knows, maybe that thing is still in use today!
I've also experimented with various standard vibrators over the years, even shower massagers. They all work to bring you an ejaculation and can be a change of pace from regular jacking off but I haven't found anything yet that works as well as my good old right hand combined with a little Lubiderm lotion (or equivalent) to bring me the regular sexual relief I need...unless it's the warm mouth or pussy of a real live woman...but at present the latter is just a fantasy for me (sigh)...so I beat my fucking meat! Hey the end result is still the same...SPURT!...even if getting to that point definitely ain't as much fun! Thanks for reading this CRAP! I'll be back soon with more of the same. Bye for now!