Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Now here's what happened during the remainder of my forties. After Theresa (my married woman secretary/lover) left me I was pretty much in the dumps for a while once again. It was the same old feeling I had after both of my marriages broke up, in fact the same old feeling I had when any relationship I cared about broke up, going back to when I was 13 and Barbara, the older woman who introduced me to sex, took a hike. I know it's just part of life...and by now I should have been getting used to it...but I've found that you NEVER find breaking up an easy thing to do. At least I don't! Anyway, it was back to jacking off (now there's a big surprise, eh?) for a while for Lonesome Mike. I didn't even feel like hitting the bars anymore. The threat of herpes and AIDS had pretty much scared me straight for good by now and I'd furthermore just lost interest in the whole bar/one night stand scene. Whores were out of the picture now too because of all those nasty things going around! It was back to staying home on Friday and Saturday nights and playing with my weenie...hmmm...sort of like right now! Deja vu all over again!
It was hard to even work in the same office without Theresa there. The black woman that replaced her as my secretary/clerk turned out to be a real pain in the ass and my own boss was increasingly irritating me. Furthermore, I was getting bored with the whole damn job and with Sacramento. I wanted a change of pace after a quarter of a century in the same town and pretty much the same job. The only difference was that I was now in management. I didn't want to give up what I'd invested in civil service but I began to scan the government job opening bulletins for opportunities elsewhere.
In the summer of 1986 I applied for and was awarded an interesting and higher paying position near Stockton (in the San Joaquin valley, 50 miles from Sacramento). I wasn't too crazy about Stockton (then or now!) but the job was too good to pass up so I made the move to Stockton town and that's where I still live today. It will be 20 years this coming fall...and I just can't believe how time has flown by! Stockton is still pretty much a dump (sorry Mr. Mayor!) and ever since I've been here I've wished I was somewhere else! Now that I'm retired and the cost of housing in California has gone through the fucking roof, I'm pretty much stuck here though...at least until I meet that rich young nymphomaniac with a penthouse on Fifth Avenue or a condo on Maui! (Yeah, right!)
Needless to say, this was a church that did NOT want me as a member!
After about a year of living in Stockton and only having my right hand for sexual relief , I got involved with Gloria. She was my next door neighbor in my apartment complex which made it convenient when one or both of us needed a dinner or movie companion or a little nookie. Gloria was a short, curvy, dark haired Italian gal. I believe she was 36 or 37 when I first met her. She was basically nice but had a short fuse and could be quite abrasive at times. We had a rather stormy relationship for several years. Her parents, who she was very close to, hated my guts (maybe because I wasn't Italian) which didn't help things.
Gloria could be lots of fun to be around though. She also liked to fuck and gave great head! Wow did that gal know how to suck a cock including giving me some of the best full cum-in-mouth blow jobs I'd had since my trips to the Mustang Ranch whore house! Gloria was just what I needed at the time...a steady companion and fuck buddy in the age of dangerous casual sex! I didn't love her but like her...a lot! We kept our respective side by side apartments all through our relationship. We would talk about renting or buying a house and moving in together...and then we would have a fight and forget about it for a while...and then get back together and start talking about those things again. We just never got around to totally living together even though we slept together 4 or 5 times a week, mostly in my apartment because I had the king size bed and 25 inch color TV in the bedroom. We took trips and vacations together and definitely had more good times than bad. I certainly wouldn't have stayed with her if that was not the case. Looking back, those were some pretty good years with Gloria, my first "girlfriend" in a long, long time.
I lost track of Gloria for years and then she came back into my life one more time last September when she came to Stockton to visit her mother. I was sort of surprised to learn she has been married and divorced twice since she left me and now lives in Oregon, where she moved to when she was married to hubby #2. We actually fucked again, just for old time's sake while Gloria was here in September and I wrote about that RIGHT HERE. As of this date, she's still the last woman I've had the pleasure of fucking and I thank her for that as well as a couple of stormy but fun years in my late forties. I just hope she doesn't find this fucking blog! I don't think she would be amused to find herself here. I can hear the expletive filled screaming right now! Gloria darlin', put down that knife baby!
Saturday, February 25, 2006
After I returned from Bangkok in the summer of 1982, I had another of my "dry spells" when my sexual activity was limited primarily to jacking off. The bars weren't as appealing to me anymore but I did occasionally score a one night stand for a change of pace from jacking off for sexual relief. The only difference from my prior bar hopping, pussy hunting days is that I was using condoms at all times now. I remember going up to the Mustang Ranch whorehouse one last time but leaving before I got serviced when I found out the cost of a blow job had gone up to a minimum $80. I remembered the days not that long ago when you got get a full cum in mouth BJ for $20...or even $10 if you started to walk out. Call me tight but I said to hell with it and went out to my car and jacked off in the parking lot instead...and then returned to Reno where lost my money in the casinos instead! Looking back, the blow job would have been a more pleasant way to lose that cash! I was not too surprised to see that condoms were now required for both fucking and blow jobs at the Mustang. A little less fun for us guys but by then it was best to play safe and not worry about STDs. The AIDS epidemic was just around the corner and herpes was already scaring the shit of horndogs like me!
I missed the companionship as well as the sexual benefits of having a regular girlfriend but I just couldn't seem to find one during those years. What I missed more than anything with the possible exception of blow jobs was that great feeling of being in love! In retrospect I suppose I should have looked harder but I truly didn't know where to start looking. I just wasn't meeting anyone except the babes in the bars and most of them hardly had long term potential. There were lots of lonely Friday and Saturday nights spent jacking off while watching video porn. This sad state of affairs went on for a couple of years...until I met Theresa and fell in love again. The only problem was Theresa was married.
In late 1983 I was offered a management position at the Air Force base I'd worked at as a civilian on for the last 21 years. For the first time in my life I wore a suit and tie to work and had an office complete with a secretary. The first clerk was a cranky elderly woman named Lucille so there was no sexual temptation there at all. When Lucille retired in mid 1984 she was replaced by a lovely mid 30's married woman named Theresa. I think I fell in love with her the day she walked into my office for an interview. She was blond, blue eyed, the "girl next door" type and she had a warm, friendly Southern accent. She was just plain nice! Of course she got the job!
I honestly didn't have any plans to have an affair with Theresa. After I had my second marriage broken up by my ex wife's affair I was adamantly against adultery of any kind. I can honestly say that I never cheated in either of my marriages nor during any of the long time relationships I had. The one night stands and very casual relationships where both partners dated other people were of course different situations. I enjoyed working with Theresa but never made any passes at all in the beginning. The more I worked with her and got to know her, the more I liked her. Of course there was a definite sexual attraction and she was frequently in my jack off fantasies but I really didn't expect it to go any further than that. She seemed happily married and was the mother of two teenage children. I had no idea I would soon have my face and my cock buried between her lovely legs!
Theresa and I went to lunch at the base snack bar occasionally but most of the time we just brown bagged it and ate in separate lunch rooms. A couple times a month we had to work overtime in the evening together. On those nights I usually took her to dinner. It was on one of those evenings, in a parking lot of a Black Angus restaurant in Sacramento that Theresa surprised me by asking me to kiss her. It was just out of the blue after we got in my car to return to work. I had no idea that she had any romantic interest in me at all at that point. I was truly speechless...but of course I kissed her. A long passionate kiss followed by another and another. That was the beginning of an affair that lasted over a year.
Theresa said she had fallen in love with me and confessed that her relationship with her hubby was nowhere near as cozy as I had imagined. Her old man was in fact a heavy drinker, could be abusive with her at times and had previously had a couple of affairs. She said I was much nicer! I told her I loved her too but wondered if it was wise to really get involved with each other since she was married. It didn't take much pressuring from her though. There was no way I was going to pass up a chance to get in those panties! If she wanted to fuck, I was ready, willing and able!
Theresa came over to my apartment on the following Saturday afternoon and we fucked for the first time. The sex was great from the beginning. She was a very sensual woman who loved kissing, hugging and fucking and I loved having those long legs wrapped around me when we fucked. She liked giving as well as receiving oral which of course was an added plus for me since I too love both of those wonderful activities. She was on the birth control pill so after I got a medical check up (just to make sure I hadn't picked up anything in my lecherous past!) we fucked without condoms.
It was really great being in love for the first time in several years. So much better than just those one night stands and brief casual relationships! Of course there were serious drawbacks as you might expect in such a relationship. We had to be totally discreet at all times. She had to find times to get away from her home and we had to limit our off work relationship strictly to my apartment. There were still feelings of guilt too, at least on my part and I think on her part too. I really didn't feel right about fucking another man's wife! I still remembered how angry and hurt I felt when I found out my second wife Julia was cheating with that asshole Air Force Captain! My own adulterous relationship did did give me some understanding of what happened between my wife and the Captain though. Sometimes married people fall in love with other people! It's probably not right...but it does happen!
There was lots of hanky panky going on in the office as well as my apartment! I could lock the office door for short times which gave us the privacy to make out during working hours which was lots of fun. We didn't want to make too much noise of course and outside of the office, we had to make it appear that nothing was going on between the married woman and the department manager. Lots of kissing and hugging on government time though, and once Theresa got on her knees and did a Monica Lewinsky on me if you know what I mean and I think you do. Talk about fringe benefits! Another time on one of our late evening workfests, I performed cunnilingus on Theresa on the office cot. We never repeated that because it got just a little noisy (to say the least!)
Despite the drawbacks and the guilt, it was a great time in my life. I was happier than I had been in years! If she had not been married, I would have married Theresa in a minute and hopefully spent the rest of my life with her. We talked about the possibility of her getting a divorce but she said she had too much invested in her marriage and her children still liked their father too much for that to happen. She said that even though he could be a bastard at times she still thought she wanted to stay with him. Her old man had a very good job (much better than mine!) and they owned a very nice home in the suburbs of Sacramento while I still lived in a so-so bachelor's apartment. That may have had something to do with it. I'm really not sure... but she definitely wanted to stay with her old man.
We fucked only a couple more times at my apartment. A replacement was hired (a middle aged African American woman) so we had her training in the office starting in early December which of course eliminated the office hanky panky. No more hugs and kisses (or blow jobs either!) during working hours! Theresa took some extra vacation time before Christmas. She was supposed to come back for one more week after Christmas but never showed up. I called her and she said she was too busy packing for the move so she wouldn't be back. I wanted her to come over to my apartment one more time but she said it was better that we not too that because she would cry too much. We were both in tears as we said goodbye for the last time on the phone. It was a lousy Christmas and New Year's Eve that year!
That's the true story of the only real affair with a married woman in my life. I'm not proud of it at all. I still think adultery is wrong but sometimes things just happen that shouldn't happen. For us guys there is a lot of truth in that old saying "A stiff prick has no conscience!" You can just ask Bill Clinton...or me about that!
Monday, February 20, 2006
I've written about how hard it was to find visual inspiration for jacking off when I was growing up in the puritanical 1950's. This photo of a topless Pacific Rim maiden, probably from National Geographic magazine would have given me jacking off inspiration for months as a teenager if I was lucky enough to have access to it. Just looking at it today gets my cock throbbing and brings an urge to jack off but guess I better finish this post before,,,uh "taking care of business". Ideally your family would subscribe to National Geographic or Holiday. Then those well used hot issues would take many trips to the bathroom with you. Second best was scoring them from copies at the local library before some other horny bastard (young or old!) tore them out first. Modern Photography and U.S. Camera magazines were also primo jack off inspiration material with their fairly regular photos of topless and butt showing young models...all for the sake of ''art" you understand!
I remember finding a primitive nudist magazine once when I was about 10 years old and the pubic area of all the women was completely airbrushed out. Talk about confusing imagery for a pre-puberty kid who had never seen what was below the waist on a post-puberty female. I wondered what happened to that crack that I'd seen between the legs of my sister and on other little girls in the neighborhood. I had no idea that women even had pubic hair back in those days! Shortly after I went through puberty, I got educated in adult female anatomy by an older woman...but that's a different story that I related HERE a long time ago.
Today's young studs don't have to be just content with porn and jacking off either. They have much more chance of getting real life pussy than us old farts did back in the "Ice Age" of the 1950's. There was just about zero chance of getting in a girl's panties for most of us back then. If you got a hand job you considered yourself lucky! Then there was that study that came out last year that said that even if most modern teen girls won't let you fuck them, they will at least suck you off. Blow jobs aren't even considered sex to most of them! Who says nothing good came out of the Clinton administration? You da' man Bubba! Damn right I'm envious! I was just born fifty fucking years too soon! I am so depressed I think I'll just find some porn on this fucking computer and jack off! Might as well make up for lost time! Cheers!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Wouldn't it be nice if Scarlett Johannson (my Jack Off Fantasy of the Month) would give me a blow job on a secluded beach for this Valentine's Day? Since there is exactly zero chance of that happening and since I don't have a girlfriend at all right now, I guess I will just stay home and fantasize about sweet Scarlett while jacking off. Oh well, at least I don't have to go out and buy flowers and candy for anyone! Happy Valentine's Day y'all! Hope you get more action than me (which wouldn't be hard to do!) on this lovely Valentine's Day 2006. If you are all alone, feel free to join in the masturbation festivities with me. As Woody Allen said to Diane Keaton in "Annie Hall", "Don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love!" You da man Woody!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
My trip to Europe in 1980 whetted my appetite for more foreign travel. My buddy at work Steve kept telling me I ought to go to Bangkok Thailand which in his humble opinion was truly a bachelor's paradise because of all of those lovely young Thai women who just loved to fuck and suck you for not very much money. Since I hadn't had much luck finding any female companionship in the year since I returned from Europe I decided to give Bangkok a try in the summer of 1981.
Bangkok, which I'd heard referred to as "the Paris of the Far East" turned out to be a miserable hell hole! The heat and especially the humidity were almost unbearable, at least in the hot summertime that I chose to go there. You could actually see the pollution in the air, primarily caused by the horrible automobile traffic, the worst I'd ever seen in my life, that clogged the streets 24 hours a day. Furthermore, every time you stepped out of your hotel you were accosted by various touts trying to sell you everything in the world, from illegal drugs and all varieties of sex to custom made silk suits. The Thai people were very nice and polite (even most of the touts!) but otherwise I hated the whole stinking place!
I took a tour of the city and viewed the spectacular Royal Palace. The tour included all kinds of shopping opportunities for things I had absolutely no interest in buying. I do not go on vacation to shop! After walking around in the sweltering afternoon heat and being approached by tout after tout I decided to go back to my room and drink some cold beer. I was drenched with sweat from that miserable humidity which was like nothing I'd ever experienced, even in my Army days in Korea and Japan. Napa, Sacramento and Stockton can be hot but at least it's a dry heat. I suppose people from Florida and other humid places could handle Bangkok better than this Northern California dude!
After taking a nap and a shower I took a walk to one of the sex districts that night. Before I even arrived at the area I had been offered every type of sex known to man or beast by touts on the street. There was something on the sex menu for everyone, some of it like sex with minors strictly illegal in most of the rest of the world but apparently tolerated in this city of sex where anything goes. I stopped in at a couple of bars where I was propositioned by cuties before I got a foot in the door. I had several beers but the humid conditions in and out of the bars was not putting me in the mood for pussy. I was still trying to get over a severe case of jet lag too. I decided to go back to my hotel and try for a good night's sleep. The pussy would wait until tomorrow.
I spent quite a bit more money than the agreed to amount but it was well worth it. By the time I went back to the airport a week later I was totally pussy whipped...but also glad to get the fuck out of that miserable hot and humid city! I doubt I'll ever go back but if I do it won't be in the summer time!
This debauchery on my part was well before the AIDS epidemic had spread to Thailand and taken it's tragic toll on the people and the sex industry. I've heard that the male tourists continued to pour in from around the world even afterwards and that many of them still played "Pussy Russian Roulette" by fucking the Thai whores without condoms, as unbelievable as that may seem.
The AIDS epidemic pretty much put an end to my days of whoring and substantially cut down on my looking for casual sex too. I also went back to carrying a spare condom in my wallet again and used it even if my new found sex partner was on the pill. As for Thailand's whores and whores everywhere, sorry but I wouldn't want to fuck them even with a condom if I suspected they might have AIDS. I'm not even sure I could get it up in such a case! Rather than take any chance of receiving a death sentence, I'd rather just stay home and be content with jacking off. That's been my philosophy for the last 20 years!
Considering all of the whoring and fucking around that I have done in my life, I've been real fortunate in never catching anything worse than a one time urinal tract infection, quickly cleaned up by antibiotics. When I heard about herpes (which apparently stays with you for life!), that scared the shit out of me! And then along came AIDS, to this day still pretty much a death sentence! No more trips to Bangkok or Tijuana or even the Mustang Ranch (if it's even still there!) for this Dirty Old Man! I'm clean and I'm going to stay clean, even if I have to do nothing more than jack myself off for the rest of my life, which frankly seems like a fairly strong possibility at this time! Jesus that sucks!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
I turned 40 in August of 1980 and it really sucked! Turning 30 never bothered me (nor any birthday since 40) but the big 4-0 really bummed me out for some reason. Maybe it was my mid-life crisis coming a bit early, I really don't know for sure. I was still reasonably satisfied with my job, was financially secure and enjoying the carefree single life complete with frequent one night stands and casual relationships. I had very little responsibility compared to most of my married friends. I really can't pin point the reason but I remember being very depressed that summer, before and after my birthday. Even jacking off didn't feel as good as it used to (so you just know something was wrong!) I was still still drinking quite a bit at the time. Maybe that had something to do with it, but I think there was more to it than the excess booze.
In September of that year, partly in an attempt to bring me out of my blue funk I took an extended two month vacation and went on my first independent tour of Europe. London, Paris, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Munich, Zurich, Salzburg, Rome, Barcelona...yes I jacked off in all of those places! Romantic isn't it? LOL
Aside from all of that that compulsive jacking off, I only had sex with a woman twice during the entire trip. The first time was in Amsterdam when I couldn't resist those whores in the open windows of the famous whorehouses. I treated myself to a rather expensive blow job there. It was all pretty mechanical and over way too soon. The gals at the Mustang ranch were far better at the fine art of cocksucking! Not that there is really such a thing as a bad blow job you understand! When I realized how many equivalent American dollars I had spent in that whorehouse, I was sorry that I didn't just stay in my hotel room and jack off.
Later on while riding on a train from Denmark to Germany, I met an American tourist named Beverly and we traveled together for about a week through Germany and Switzerland. Bev was a teacher, in her late 20's or early 30's, dark haired with glasses, quite attractive, very smart and very nice. Of course I wanted to get in her panties right away! That didn't happen until our last night together in a small hotel in Bern, Switzerland. Up until then, we had separate rooms in hotels and bed and breakfast places. I offered to get us a room with two beds together in Bern and since Switzerland was pretty expensive she agreed.
The bottle of French wine we had with dinner probably helped but we ended up sleeping in just one of the beds. Bev initially wanted to limit our activities to mutual masturbation and oral sex but after some nice oral in the "69" position (none too comfortable in that small bed!) she decided she wanted to fuck too. Thank God I packed those condoms in my toilet kit! It was really quite a romantic as well as a sexy night. The next morning Bev had to take the train back to Paris where she was going to fly home. I continued my journey south to Italy and really missed Bev's companionship as well as that nice night of hot sex! It was back to jacking off (what else is new?) for the rest of the trip. Bev and I exchanged cards and letters for a while after I got back. She lived in Illinois so meeting again was pretty impractical and we eventually just stopped corresponding. I wonder ever what happened to that nice gal Bev.
I had fantasies on joining the "Mile High Club" (fucking or getting sucked off at 10,000 feet!) during either long flight to our from Europe but alas that didn't happen unless you count whacking off over the Atlantic! Do I at least get partial credit for that? On that long flight home from London I got aroused staring at the curvy butts of the flight attendants and other female passengers going up and down the aisle so I decided to go into one of the unisex toilets in the rear of the plane and rub one out. Hey those trans-Atlantic flights are long and boring you know! Jerking off sounded better than watching that lame ass movie! I also was curious as to whether an ejaculation at 10,000 feet felt any different or better than an ejaculation on the ground. The results of my experiment: Nope they feel pretty much the same but since all ejaculations feel GREAT that's not necessarily a bad thing. It was sort of a rush jacking off with several hundred of passengers just outside the door too. I'm not sure those very small rest rooms are ideal for fucking anyway although they might be adequate for a blow job or eating pussy. What I'd really like to do someday is stretch out with a willing female partner in the whole middle section of one of those 747's and do the nasty there in the middle of the night when the other passengers are asleep. Fat fucking chance of being that lucky though...although I'm sure we wouldn't be the first couple to accomplish that lovely goal! Just ask any flight attendant on what they have seen in "the friendly skies" during their career! Let me tell you it's just about everything and it definitely includes fucking and sucking! !
The European trip, an education in itself, and the week and the sex with the lovely Bev definitely did cheer me up. By the time I got back to the USA (which also felt very good!) in November I was pretty much over my funk. During my European trip I'd cut down substantially on my drinking so hitting the bars didn't seem all that appealing any more. Oh when I got super horny I would go to my favorite country western joints on a Saturday night and hope to go home with some young, warm and tight pussy to lick and fuck but that bar trolling wasn't nearly as often as it had been, even right before I went to Europe. Once again I was back to mostly jacking off to relieve my sexual urges and even that familiar solitary act felt better without all that booze!