Friday, March 24, 2006

More Nostalgia From the Innocent 1950's: Those Adult Movies

I've written before about how puritanical the 1950's were and how hard it was for us horny teenage boys to find visual inspiration for our favorite pastime of jacking off. Not that we really needed THAT much inspiration you understand! Just thinking about the cute girl down the street you would like to stick your big weenie in was enough to make you head for the bathroom or go in your bedroom for a quickie jerk off session. Even touching your dick when you took a pee was enough to inspire you to give the ol' wiener some more exercise. In reality we probably jacked off just about as much as today's horny teen boys, maybe even a bit more since we didn't have all the other high tech diversions modern teens have. All we really had to play with was our dicks!

Of course jacking off (then and now!) is usually more pleasurable with some nice visual inspiration. These young dudes of today with their internet, porno DVDs and cable TV really don't know how good they have it. Don't forget those sweetie pie girlfriends who are apparently quite generous with their blow jobs!. Like I've said before, I was just born 50 fucking years too soon! All we had in the 1950's (if we were lucky!) was a picture of a topless African or South Seas maiden from National Geographic or maybe a picture of a nude photo model we tore out of U.S. Camera magazine at the library. That's if some other horny dude didn't see it and rip it out first!

The mainstream movies that played at our neighborhood theaters didn't offer us much jerk off inspiration either. The Production Code kept a tight reign on Hollywood in those days. Even tits and ass shots were strictly taboo in Hollywood films. Any profanity beyond "damn" or "hell" (and little of that!) was not allowed. Sex was either not mentioned at all or only hinted at. Of course there were Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Anita Ekberg and Kim Novak (left) to give us boners with their lovely bodies and low cut dresses...but oh how we would have loved to see them nude! Just cleavage in a movie was enough to give me many a boner though and more than once I jacked off in the back row of the stadium balcony of the Uptown Theater in Napa while I fantasized that I was fucking one of those babes up there on the big screen.

Outside of Hollywood films there were the movies for adults only. Of course as teenagers we were not allowed to get in the adult theaters to see them. Most of these adult theaters were in the big cities anyway. There certainly weren't any in Napa where I spent my teenage years. Later, when I came of age, I was to discover that those films were also extremely tame..and lame! Only tits and ass were shown and sometimes you didn't even get that! The women in the burlesque films usually wore pasties and G strings. Shots of pubic hair, genitals and explicit sex were as taboo there as they were in the Hollywood films. In retrospect I didn't miss too much by not being allowed to see those damn things as a teen!

A few adult films did make it to the smaller cities and towns as special engagements for adult audiences only. "Mom and Dad" was one of the most notorious. The rumor among us teenagers was that it showed actual fucking! That of course was not the case. It apparently was sort of a dramatized warning about the dangers of sex which concluded with actual footage of the birth of a baby. That shows you just how desperate producers had to get to even show a little bare skin in those days. As I recall they even segregated the audiences for "Mom and Dad", men and women at separate showings! Apparently a "sex expert" named "Elliot Forbes" traveled with the film and an intermission was built into the film for a short lecture and the hawking of a $1.00 sex manual. I never did see "Mom and Dad" and I don't think I missed much...but it was a legend in it's time, especially among those of us too young to see it!

These posters above for "Mom and Dad" seem to indicate that high school age youth were able to see the movie. I am pretty sure it played Napa for adults only...or all of us horny young dudes would have been there with throbbing dicks! It's been a while though and maybe I missed a good chance to get some sex education and additional jack off inspiration early on. Come to think of it fat chance my mom and dad would have permitted me to see that if even if I would have been permitted to attend. I'm also not even sure I was a teenager when "Mom & Dad" played Napa. In any case I've never seen it to this day but have heard it's a real snoozer with very little weenie stiffening material, about as sexy as a seventeenth re-run of "I Love Lucy"
...not that I didn't jack off to "I Love Lucy" when I really got desperate and the family was out of the house! Like I said we took our jack off inspiration where we could find it in those days!

The one time I did manage to see a couple of these so called "adult" films was in my mid-teens. Me and my buddy hitchhiked down to Vallejo where  drive in theater was showing a double feature of "Garden of Eden" and "One Summer of Happiness". We snuck in the exit gate of the drive in and sat on the ground by a speaker stand in the far corner of the back row and watched both flicks, keeping a close eye out for the manager who sometimes roamed the lot looking for gate crashers like us, rowdy teenagers or those humping in the back seat of their cars. I imagine there was a little extra back seat humping with programs like this up there on the big screen! Fortunately we made it all the way through the double feature without being caught.

"Garden of Eden" was supposedly the "Gone With the Wind" of nudist movies, mainly because it was shot in "glorious" color. Apparently most of the previous nudist flicks (which went way back to the 1930's) were in black and white. This one was shot in a nudist camp in Florida and did feature a beautiful and statuesque young actress who gave me a throbbing hard on the minute she started taking off her clothes. Like all of the nudist movies of the era, all you got to see were tits and ass though. No "beavers or pickles" as I was later to find out that pussies and cocks were known as in the adult film business.

The cameraman had to be very careful in composing his shots and all unwanted shots of pubic hair and genitals were edited out. The Production Code did not apply to adult films of course but state and local governments would not permit any depictions of full frontal nudity or actual sex. It would be pointless to even produce such a film that included such scenes. It would be raided in the first city it played in and the producers would have been arrested. That's just how restrictive our policies were about nudity and sex in movies back then...and yeah it really sucked!

Note in this still photo poster for "Garden of Eden" that most of the nudists are wearing clothes! (Bummer!) Also note that the one topless woman previously had a tape pasted over her breasts by a theater manager so no innocent parties walking by the theater would be offended by the sight of a bare titty. Ah yes those were puritanical times folks!

"One Summer of Happiness" was a black and white Swedish film and very popular in it's time, again playing strictly to adult audiences but it did make it far beyond the adult and "art" theaters in the big cities. It's claim to fame was a nude bathing scene between a young Swedish couple. The gal was a babe and those tits were lovely...but that's about all you saw in the whole damn movie. The rest of the film was pretty dull. We sat through the whole thing, hoping for some more titty shots or real sex but it never happened. We hitchhiked home and I immediately went in my room and jacked off. I had a hard on for the better part of the next month thinking of  that bare skin I had seen on that big drive in screen. Yeah it was only tits and ass but it was the first time I'd seen that up there on the big screen and that revelation gave me lots of inspiration to beat my meat.

Me and my buddy made one more trip to that drive in theater a couple of years later to attempt to sneak in and see French "sex kitten" Brigette Bardot in "And God Created Woman" but this time the manager did catch us in the middle of the movie and called our parents who were not amused and came to pick us up. Damn the bad luck! We did manage to see enough of the movie to get a glimpse of a semi-nude Brigette Bardot and that was enough to give me a hard on for a week and much jack off inspiration for the next six months so the evening wasn't a total loss. That was unfortunately the end of my adult movie experiences as a horny teenager and that's enough nostalgia for today! Thanks for reading!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing those memories back. Interesting stuff even if I was still a kid then.

Horny Old Guy said...

You didn't miss much anonymous! Looked at today, these things are sleep inducing! I looked at some recently on DVD and couldn't believe how dull and un-erotic they are. Some go for over an hour with not a bare titty in sight! Hardly good inspiration for my "hobby" if you know what I mean and I think you do!