Well I decided in early March that my "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" for April would be the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress. I'm happy to announce that this great honor (that's my award, not the fucking Oscar!) goes to the lovely and talented Reese Witherspoon. She won the Oscar for playing June Carter Cash in "I Walk the Line" of course. I have to confess that it won't be the first time that I'll be jacking off to Reese. I think it was in "Sweet Home Alabama" that I first noticed her considerable charms...and went home and whacked off thinking about them! She's got that "girl next door" quality, the kind of babe that us guys used to jack off to in our high school days while we fantasized about about popping her cherry. The stuff wet dreams are made of my friends! So every Saturday in April I'll be jacking off while fantasizing about Reese Witherspoon. At my age, it just doesn't get much better than this folks! By the way, the nude stills above are from a movie called "Twilight" that I haven't seen but intend to check out very soon. No surprise but Reese looks even sweeter with her clothes off that she does with them on! What a babe!
I was a little worried that 71 year old Judi Densch might win the Best Actress Award. Nothing against Dame Judi the great British actress but I think I might have to pop a couple of Viagras to get the old pecker up before I jerked off to Dame Judi. Thank God the Academy members came to their senses and gave it to the sweetie pie Reese. It sort of makes up for awarding that lame ass hip hop song about pimps the Best Song of the Year! About the only other thing about the Oscars I can say is that you will never find yours truly up there on Brokeback Mountain if you know what I mean and I think you do! Now let me whip out the old pecker and let the jacking off to Reese Witherspoon begin! Thanks for reading, see you next time!