Monday, April 10, 2006

My Sixties (Part 2) Hurrah for Viagra!


So I returned from my around the world post retirement trip right before Thanksgiving in 2000 and began my new occupation as a permanent fuck off...I mean retired gentleman. Now I had lots of time for my favorite activities...ogling the babes, fantasizing about them and jacking off to them! Actually I do much more than that in my life and the days and weeks and months and years continue to go flying by all too quickly. It seems like only yesterday that I retired but it will be six years ago this summer! Aside from my compulsive jacking off there hasn't been much sex in my life but I'll get to that in my next and final post in this boring but true and complete sex life journal.


Today I wanted to talk about Viagra which I first encountered just about the time I retired. I've told you people everything else so I might as well admit that I'm an unashamed Viagra user and say "Thank you Jesus!" to the geniuses who invented it just when I needed it. I think it was about 2000, age 60 for me, that I first noticed that my erections weren't as firm as they had been all of my prior life. I knew it wasn't a case of "Use it or lose it!" as the old wiener has had LOTS of exercise through the years! I was in very good health, not a smoker or heavy drinker so that was not the problem. I just had to face the fact that time was catching up with this old fart and this old dick!


Of course there was no problem jacking off which was all that I was doing sexually at the time. You don't need a full boner for jacking off or even blow jobs for that matter. Keeping the erection through prolonged intercourse might be a little more of a challenge though. I was hoping my days of fucking were not over yet though so I decided to ask my doc about Viagra. He took a quick look at my medical records and said "No problem gramps!" He told me it was quite normal to need it at my age and explained the minor side effects that I might experience. He even gave me a sample six pack along with a prescription. Of course I went right home and popped a little blue tablet even though I was alone and the opportunities for getting laid were zilch.


All I can say is that shit works! The picture at right was actually taken about a half hour after I popped that first sample pill. Viagra is not really an instant hard on pill. You still need some stimulation...a little hand action or just looking at some erotica or porn will do it. In my case, I just started thinking about that gal behind the counter at McDonald's that I'd just love to slip the big salami to and I soon had a raging boner just like I used to get as a teenager. Being alone at the time, there was nothing to do but jack off and that's exactly what I did. A couple hours later I started thinking about pussy again, got another boner and jacked off again. The stuff will last for several hours...plenty of time to go back for seconds. Again, it's not some magical, mythical instant "hard on pill". Your erection will subside between your sexual activities just as it always did. You need some time to "recharge your batteries" (at least most of us do!) but overall it works extremely well and does exactly what it is supposed to do.

Side effects with Viagra are minor. You can get a flushed condition on the face (big fucking deal!), maybe a slight headache, a little nausea or have temporary blurred vision (watch your driving if that's the case!) In extremely rare instances you might get a hard on that won't go down for hours. That might sound like a guy's wet dream come true but it can cause some serious medical problems so you are advised to see a doc (quick!) if that happens. None of these things happened to me. Guys taking nitrite drugs for their heart should definitely NOT use it...it could kill them!!! It's really best to see your doctor. Don't fuck around and try to get it on line. You'll probably pay too much and may even get some phony drug that won't do you any good. Your doctor has heard it before...don't be afraid to talk to him or her about it. Viagra is also quite expensive. Eight to ten dollars per tablet and it's the same price for any dosage so it pays to ask the doc for a higher dose prescription and then cut the tablets in two. My doc actually suggested this to me. Now if Medicare would only cover this damn thing! Actually my retired employee medical plan gives me a big break.

As I said before you don't need a full boner to jack off although I admit I've used a few pills for just that, just as an experiment you understand. I've only had the opportunity to use Viagra for fucking once and I'll talk about that next time. It's just nice to know that the little blue pill is there for us old farts when and if we need it. I've heard some wives and girlfriends are highly pleased with their men's new and improved sexual stamina and others wish the damn thing had never been invented. I'm still searching for one of the former ladies as my companion! Of course if I ever get the chance to fuck Reese Witherspoon or Scarlett Johannson (yeah right!) or that babe from McDonald's I don't think I'll need it! Otherwise it's Hallelujah for Viagra!!!

Oh yeah let me add one more thing. Viagra (and it's equivalents) has got to be the most over prescribed, over used drug in the history of medicine! Of course the pharmaceutical companies would just LOVE to have every guy from puberty on up popping those $10 pills. The truth is that the great majority of younger guys just don't need it. I speak from experience! It does NOT turn you into Superman with a Supercock! It is NOT an automatic hard on pill! If you can get a boner and keep it up while you fuck, save your fucking money! Sex is just as good without it if you don't need it! Ignore all those silly TV ads that make it look like ALL of us guys can't get it up without it. Save it for us old farts...maybe the price will come down if all you young whippersnappers stop buying it! The next thing you know they will be putting it into cereal! Hmmmm...sounds like a real money maker there! Wanna bet that General Mills is working on it right now?

2 comments:

Meg said...

WOW! Just discovered your blog and I luv it! Keep it up and keep your thingy up too haha!

Horny Old Guy said...

Thanks Meg! You don't have to worry about the latter...as long as they keep making Viagra anyway! LOL