Thursday, May 04, 2006

Celebrity Masturbators

Well this is sort of old news but Kevin Costner has joined the ranks of celebrities caught jerking off in public. It seems that in October 2004 Kevin was staying (with his wife!) at a hotel in Fife, Scotland. While there he received a massage from a masseuse (apparently a legit one) employed by the hotel. During the massage Kevin kept putting his hand under the towel and later whipped off the towel and continued masturbating to ejaculation right in front of the shocked masseuse. The woman complained to management, was subsequently fired and sued the hotel for unfair dismissal and sexual discrimination. Costner's name was kept out of the press until recently when the woman received a settlement. Kevin has refused to comment on this incident. It's important to note that he personally was not charged by the masseuse, the hotel or the police. Where there is smoke there is fire though and it's easy to hush things up for a while when you are a big movie star! Kevin's refusal to comment makes me think that he's guilty as charged and the newest member of the celebrity public wankers club. Kevin you nasty boy!

Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) is the most famous public jerker of course. Pee Wee was caught by police playing with his Pee Pee in an XXX rated movie theater in Sarasota Florida in 1991. It was just fucking bad luck! If they had arrested every dude who jacked off in an adult movie (including yours truly!), they would have to have built thousands more jails and our courtrooms would be totally clogged by public wankers! The incident with Pee Wee put a quick end to his career though which is sort of sad I think. His children's TV show was cancelled and he lost all his product endorsements. He's done a few things since under the Paul Reubens name but basically his career went down the toilet. You can't think of Pee Wee anymore without picturing him jacking off in that movie theater. You would think that the police would have better things to do than look for movie theater masturbators...but I guess least down there in sunny Sarasota! Pathetic waste of taxpayer's money in my humble opinion!

Then there was pop singer George Michael who got arrested for jerking off in front of an undercover police officer in a rest room (a known gay cruising spot!) in a state park in Beverly Hills, California in 1998. I don't think it really harmed George's career that much. It shouldn't have since in pop music you can apparently murder people and not have it damage your career. Whacking off in a public toilet in comparison to the things rap "artists" (what a joke that is!) get away with seems almost saintly! And yet you can't think of George Michael now without thinking of him beating his meat in that shithouse stall!

I guess the point to all this is that it's best to celebrate National Masturbation Month in private, especially if you are a well know celebrity! Not bad advice for the rest of us wankers either! Hope all you fine folks are celebrating the month with me! Join in the festivities y'all!


dreamwalker said...

Heh..definitely a solo pleasure :)

I only just found out what I should be celebrating!! Missed 4 days of fun (..I'm a day ahead of ya'll here on the island.)

:P fuzzbox said...

I had not heard the Costner story. Cool heads up. Thanks for popping in. Maybe there should be a Masturbation month webring.

Boss Stewie said...

shame on kevin costner
tsk tsk tsk

anu said...

Wow i love Kevin Coster for what he did :-) How cool and cute that was.

If i were the massuree(gawd..whats the spelling!) then i would have relished that sight and maybe joined in. :-)

Mikeyy Hugs.

Cheesy said...

Dam I miss pee wee's playhouse!! lol jk Hadn't heard about the Cosner incident either... hummm guess we ARE all human after all eh?? Really have enjoyed reading your blog.. good stuff

Anonymous said...

I know Pee Wee probably doesn't get laid very often (if at all); but I can't believe Kevin Costner is so hard up ('scuze the pun!) that he has to jack off in front of a stranger.

Horny Old Guy said...

You would think Pee Wee's wealth and fame would have let him get laid as much as he wanted regardless of his looks...but jacking off in adult movies is just something that us guys do. You get hard and horny looking at the porn and need to get off! Pee Wee just was unlucky and got caught and I really question whether cops should be wasting time in porno theaters if jacking off is all that's going on there!

As for Kevin, I don't think he was hard up. After all his wife was with him at the motel and there were probably hundreds of women in the area ready to jump his movie star bones when wifey wasn't looking. Just a mistake in judgement on Kevin's part me thinks! Another example of that old saying "a stiff prick has no conscience!"