Monday, May 01, 2006
National Masturbation Month is Here!
(Click on the above poster and print it! Put it on the bulletin board in your workplace! Guaranteed to get a few chuckles before the boss, some p.c. weenie or religious fanatic tears it down!)
When I was just a lad (a long, long time ago!) on this date (May 1) every year us boys used to love to shout out in the school yard:
"Hooray! Hooray! It's the first of May!
Outdoor fucking starts today!"
Those lovely words still apply of course but today this date takes on even more significance because it's the first day of "National Masturbation Month"! There's not much more to say except y'all join in the festivities! I'll probably be babbling more than normal about jacking off this month and yeah I know...you didn't think that was possible, did you? Enjoy the day, enjoy the month and by all means take time out to enjoy one of our favorite activities from pre puberty to old age...masturbation! To repeat the immortal words of that brilliant sage Woody Allen just one more time, "Don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love!" Truer words were never spoken my friends!
Masturbation is completely normal and healthy (despite what your Mom told you or the Pope says!) for both males and females of all ages. It's the safest sex act you can perform. Absolutely no danger of STD's or pregnancies. You don't need a partner and you can do it almost any time and any place. It's also free! There are also no side effects at all. To the contrary there is increasing evidence of substantial short and long term mental and physical benefits. What's not to like? It's the most fun you can have by yourself! All I can tell you is that I've been jacking off since I was 12 and I'm 65 now and still doing it. I ain't blind or crazy yet either. Yup friends masturbation is truly one of the joys of life in my most humble and ancient opinion! Now let's all celebrate! Let the jacking and jilling begin! ENJOY!!!