Friday, June 30, 2006

You Can't Be Too Careful Nowadays!


Proving once again that you can find absolutely ANYTHING on eBay, here's a new product for those wankers who don't want to take any chances and wish to practice safe sex even while jacking off. Yes it's the "Do It Yourself Safe and Sanitary Masturbation Kit" consisting of a rubber glove, condom, towelette and target to test your "shooting" ability at the "climax" of your solitary safe sex experience. Hey it's approved by the American Masturbation Association! You can't do much better than that my friends although an endorsement from me on the package would probably have also helped! I'm also pleased to see that it's even made right here in the good old USA, probably about the last product that we can say that about...and yeah I do know it's a gag gift folks!


I won't be needing that kit this weekend although I'm so primed up that I'm sure I could hit the bulls eye on that target with no problem if I jacked off right now. God knows I'm already rated "expert" at that wonderful activity called wanking! Marcella is coming over tonight so presumably it will be Nookie Night #2 with my new Filipina sweetie. She's staying overnight so hopefully I'll get a chance to go back for seconds and maybe even get my first blow job from her sweet mouth. I didn't get any head at all from her even in foreplay last week and I do love oral so much...both giving and getting it! I hope sucking on weenies is not against Marcella's religion!



Marcella is indeed Catholic (sigh) even though she apparently doesn't have any objections to condoms which we wisely used on our first night of fucking. Hopefully she takes the same liberal approach to sucking cock! Oh my God I'm looking forward to having that lovely act performed on me again! I haven't jacked off since Monday and have sprung many a boner anticipating our next sexual encounter. It's almost like being a teenager again! I went over to Marcella's apartment Wednesday night for dinner but her roommate was there so there was no chance to do the nasty. Her roommate Patty, another Filipina and about 10 years younger than Marcella, is a real babe too! I wouldn't mind slipping the big salami to her! Wonder if she's interested in a threesome? Marcella if you are reading this, I am just kidding darlin'! Put that knife away baby!


After writing and then reading that last paragraph I realize that there is just no way I can tell Marcella about this fucking blog. I definitely feel a bit guilty about relating the juicy details of our sex life in a blog without telling her...but there just is no way I can tell her. It's surely bothered me writing about my past wives and lovers, even some hanky panky with  my sister Karen, and I definitely worry that some of them might stumble on this blog and be rightfully outraged. Still it would be hard to be truly candid if I knew Marcella was reading this and I'm sure she would be offended by what I've written so far, and that's with only one sexual escapade taken place.

So I must keep my nasty blog a secret from Marcella, even though I have a very difficult time keeping secrets from anyone. The chances are extremely slim that she will ever stumble on this blog by accident although I'm going to have to be careful in signing out of Blogger every time I finish posting and clearing my history too. Actually what I need to do is just protect myself and my computer with a password and have her use a different account if she wants to use my computer. That's even a better idea! Caution is definitely in order though. If Marcella ever discovers yours truly, the infamous "Horny Old Guy" on line, me thinks this relationship will be immediately over and Horny Old Guy will be back to Saturday night jacking off, not that that would be anything new or unusual for me! I've been there many, many times before! Pussy is my first choice on Saturday night or any other night though! Mum's the word about this fucking blog!


Well that's enough rambling for this morning. It's time to shave and shower, clean the place up, get out the condoms and Viagra (not that I need a little blue pill tonight!), spray some WD-40 on my ancient but still functioning pecker and get ready for some fucking and (I hope) weiner sucking on Marcella's part! Wish me luck and y'all have a wonderful 4th of July weekend! Remember to practice safe sex even when you are alone!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Believe It Or Not...I Got Laid!!!

Hot off the press! Click on this newspaper to make the print bigger and read all about it!



Yeah it's true folks! For the first time since last September and only the second time since (Oh don't ask!) I got laid on Saturday night! Poontang! Nookie! Pussy! A piece of tail! Finally a Saturday night where I didn't have to resort to jacking off, not that there is anything wrong with that wonderful solitary activity! I still don't fucking believe it though! I ACTUALLY GOT FUCKED (literally!) It still seems like a wet dream but it actually happened! It really didn't make the local Stockton paper (LOL) but it should have! This is BIG news folks! Somebody call CNN...or at least Ophra!


I was just about to give up on Marcella, the 38 year old Filipino gal I'd been chatting with at the coffee shop for the last couple of months. She'd postponed our first two scheduled dates and I hadn't seen her most of last week at the coffee shop so I figured she was trying to tell me something by avoiding me...that of course would be that she didn't want to go out with me after all. However she was there at the coffee shop on Friday morning. She actually had been sick for several days but felt fine now, was very friendly and when I asked her if she wanted to have our date on Saturday night she said sure. Always the optimist I felt an immediate rising in my pants! BOING!

We had a nice dinner at a Thai restaurant (her choice, not mine!) and came back to my condo for some after dinner drinks and more chat. I was sort of worried we wouldn't have that much in common but we found plenty of things to talk about, at least on this first evening. She is quite intelligent and interested in current events, sports and the arts. While talking about her work at the medical clinic the subject of sex came up and we agreed that people were crazy to jump in bed with multiple partners nowadays how important it was to practice safe sex. It sort of sounded like I was NOT going to "get lucky" on this first date...but the night was still young!



We got cozier and cozier on the couch (the third glass of wine helped!) and I soon felt myself getting a t hard on. Marcella smelled good enough to eat, which is just one of the things I wanted to do to her. I put my arm around her and kissed her. She kissed back and soon we were making out like a couple of teenagers. After about a half hour of continuous smooching and a little bit of titty feeling (through her blouse and bra) I suggested that we go in my bedroom and continue what we were doing there. She said she didn't think that was such a good idea on a first date. I told her I didn't want to have sex (yeah right!) but it was just more comfortable and my back was bothering me after sitting on the couch so long. She seemed a bit reluctant but finally said okay. By then my cock was just throbbing and I decided I wasn't going to need any Viagra tonight regardless of what did or didn't happen in the bedroom.


The first thing Marcella said to me when we laid down in bed is "You don't have any STDs or anything do you?" I told her absolutely no and that I'd recently had a physical complete with an HIV test to prove it. That was all true. She said she hadn't been with anyone sexually for several years and was very concerned about staying clean herself. I told her that I fully understood,that she was very smart and that we didn't really need to have sex tonight. She asked me if I had any condoms and I told her yes. She said "Well let's just see what happens. Maybe we can just do some safe sex stuff and not go all the way tonight, okay?!" I said that was fine with me. At my age I'll take anything I can get! Thoughts of sucking her tits, fingering and licking her pussy and letting her give me some head or even just a hand job were still much more appealing than my usual solitary Saturday night jacking off. My cock continued to throb in my pants!


After that things really started to move fast. It still sort of seems like a dream (maybe due in part to all that wine we drank). More passionate kissing, taking her clothes off piece by piece. The first sight of those beautiful brow! breasts, medium sized but still very firm with lovely dark brown nipples. Feeling and kissing those breasts and feeling the nipples become erect in my mouth as I gently sucked on them. Helping her pull her pants off and then taking her white panties off and getting my first glimpse of that black hair covered pussy! I felt like burying my face there right then and there but she wanted to get me undressed first. I quickly got my shirt and pants off and threw them on the floor. She helped me with my T shirt and shorts. When she pulled my shorts off and my boner popped out, she said "Ooooh! You've got a BIG one!", something us guys always like to hear, even if it isn't true!


There was more passionate kissing with our hands on each others' genitals. She was very wet at the first touch of my fingers. Her soft hand on my cock felt so good too. She was rubbing it a bit too fast though and in a few minutes I felt I was about to cum. I asked her to stop for a minute and moved my mouth to her breasts again and then kissed her all the way down her stomach and on her thighs and finally to the place I really wanted to be...that warm, wet pussy! You can't imagine how good pussy tastes after you haven't tasted it for a while (or maybe you can imagine!) I don't think there is anything more erotic than burying your face between a woman's legs and tasting her sweet nectar for the first time...and that's just what I did. Marcella was soon very vocally letting me know how much she was enjoying it. I'm sure the neighbors were hearing some sounds they hadn't heard from my condo for a while!


After about twenty minutes of my rather expert and sloppy muff diving, Marcella whispered "Go get a condom Mike!" Actually I was hoping for at least a bit of reciprocal cock sucking on her part first but that was not to be this night. "Are you sure?" I asked her. "YES!!!" she answered. Well, who am I to refuse a lady? While opening my virgin box of condoms I noticed in the mirror that I'd lost part my boner being so preoccupied with all of that pussy eating. I wondered if I should have popped a Viagra tablet after all! Another reason why some oral attention from Marcella's sweet mouth would have been greatly appreciated. But it was too late for that now! I wanted to get this rubber on before she changed her mind. A little massaging my dick while thinking of where it would soon be buried made my cock stiff enough to easily slip the condom on. I took some K-Y jelly and rubbed on it for extra lube. I was now more than ready, willing and able to fuck!


Marcella was laying on the bed with her legs spread apart. I asked her if she wanted to get on top (actually my favorite position!) but she said she just wanted to do it the old fashioned way, the missionary position. I got on top of her and she eased my cock into her warm pussy. Again, just like pussy eating, you can't imagine how good fucking feels after you've been away from it for a while! Marcella's pussy is very tight, feels like a woman in her early twenties in fact, and with her legs wrapped around me I was in absolute heaven! Actually fucking for the first time in nine fucking months! I was trying to make it last but it felt just too good and she was thrusting like crazy. In just a few minutes I exploded inside her. I let out an "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" that again I'm sure those same neighbors hadn't heard in a while from my place. Fuck 'em! I'm entitled to a little fun once in a while! I would have loved to leave my cock inside Marcella and let it go down but as we all know that's not a good idea with condoms and not getting Marcella pregnant was the main thing to consider so I pulled out almost immediately and went into the bathroom to take it off and wash up. Marcella asked me to bring her another glass of wine on the way back to the bed.


We lay there and talked for a couple hours after that. Marcella told me it had actually been six years (!) since she had sex before Saturday night . God I thought I was in bad shape for not getting laid for nine months! She's never been officially married and says she's only had two sexual relationships in her life, both of the long term live in type, both with Filipino dudes. I'm the first Caucasian she's ever been with and she said I really am BIG compared to the other two guys. I'm just average sized for a white dude but let her believe what she wants!

I wanted Marcella to spend the night, hoping for a little action in the morning (a blow job would be nice!) but she said she had to get home and get dressed to go to church in the morning. At 2:20 AM I drove her back to her apartment and kissed her at the door. We thanked each other for a nice evening and agreed we'd do it again soon.


And so that's it...my first sex aside from jacking off in nine months! It's a great relief to have finally ended that "dry spell" of course...and with a nice gal like Marcella too. I'm really not sure where it will go from here. I've always been a realist. I fully realize that I'm 65 (with 66 coming up in a couple of months) and Marcella is 38, 27 years younger than me, even younger than my daughter! We are also of different races. We have more in common interests than I would have thought but still much less than I would have with most women closer to my own age. This in all probability will be a brief affair. Then again it could last quite a while, maybe even for the rest of my life, although with my record for relationships, that seems highly unlikely. Only time will tell. I'm determined to just take it one day at a time and enjoy it while it lasts.


Marcella and I talked on the phone yesterday and I jacked off last night thinking about her. Hey I'm not ready to give up my "hobby" just because I got laid! I'll be seeing her at the coffee shop this morning. She wants me to come over for dinner mid-week and meet her (female) roommate (better than meeting her parents! God I dread that!) We've already agreed on another date on Friday and this time she promises with no church to get up for on Saturday, she will stay overnight. My next big decision will be whether to tell her about this fucking blog or not. Me thinks I better not...and yet I feel guilty writing about her and the details our sex life in this blog. Even more than that I worry about her stumbling on this blog by accident. Oh well I'll think more about that later on! For now I'll just rejoice in finally getting laid! There may be a God after all!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

OOPS! Wrong Time, Wrong Place For Jacking Off!




Another blogger wrote a post saying that sometimes we choose an inappropriate time and place for jacking off...and we get caught! I have to agree with him. There is a right place and a wrong place to beat your meat, a time to whip it out and a time to keep it zipped! Probably the worst time and place I ever chose to beat my meat was in a laundromat. (What are you laughing at?) This goes way back to my late twenties or maybe early thirties. I remember the incident as vividly as if it was yesterday though. I was doing my laundry early one morning and the only other customer in this laundromat was a lovely young blond haired babe in a T shirt and tight jean shorts. She was quite an eyeful and I was soon discretely ogling her and fantasizing about the nasty things I'd like to do to her. When I spotted a rather prominent "camel toe" in the crotch of those tight shorts I felt an immediate rising in my pants. As a refined young gentleman ("Yeah right!" you say!) I made no attempt to put the make on her and went about my business of washing my clothes, but discretely glancing in her direction whenever I had the chance.


This hot babe took her stuff out of the dryer right before my own laundry was done washing. I took one more look at that lovely young butt as she walked out of the door and a couple of minutes later started to throw my own stuff in her still warm dryer. There I spotted a pair of pink panties that she had left behind. By then she had left the parking lot so there was no way to give them back to her. I took the panties out, took a whiff and thinking of where those panties had been, felt the strong urge to masturbate right then and there. I was now the only one in the store and I had lots of time while my clothes were drying. I couldn't see any reason not to jack off. All I can tell you is it seemed like a good idea at the time!

I went over behind the rear row of washers and whipped out my throbbing dick. I wrapped the soft pink panties around it and started to jack off. It's always sort of a rush jerking off in a place you're not supposed to and where you could possibly get caught doing it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those crazy exhibitionists who waves his weenie in front of unsuspecting women and children. I've never done that, never would do that and frankly have no use for those perv bastards. Jacking off to me is basically a very private and personal act. At the very least it should never be done in front of anyone who doesn't want to see it. Sometimes though, like on a secluded beach or in the woods, we think we are alone and get caught with our pants down. That can happen when we are engaged in any sex act or just in the nude. The possibility of being seen or caught in the act just sometimes adds to the thrill even if you have no intention or desire for that to actually happen. Here in this laundromat, that definitely was the case! I definitely did NOT want anyone to walk in that front door until I got through "taking care of business".



I was jerking away fast and furious and getting close to cumming. Suddenly the store room door opened behind me. I swung around to see a middle aged Chinese woman coming out. I think I almost had a fucking heart attack! I hadn't heard voices or even noises from that direction. My attention of course had been focused on the front window and entry door. Getting caught from behind while whacking off was the furthest thing from my mind.


I'm not sure whether this woman was the owner or just the caretaker but she took one look at what I was doing and started screaming "GET OUT OF HERE! I CALL POLICE! I CALL POLICE!" I was totally speechless and embarrassed beyond belief. I threw the panties down and tried to stuff my still stiff and throbbing hard on back into my jeans, not an easy proposition as any guy will tell you. Boners are just damn hard to cram into jeans! She stood there staring at me and screaming "I CALL POLICE! I CALL POLICE!"


There was now an elderly Chinese woman (probably her mother) standing behind her looking on curiously and yelling at me in Chinese. I finally got my dick into my pants and went over to the dryer and yanked out all my still wet clothes. "YOU ASSHOLE! I CALL POLICE! YOU ASSHOLE!" the younger woman screamed as I went running out of the store. "FUNG CHOW LONG DONG!"(whatever!) shouted the old lady. It was like a scene out of a bad movie! The only other similar thing that comes to mind was a few years later, in my bar hopping, one night stand days, when I got caught by an angry hubby while I had my dick buried deep in his wife's pussy. I think I wrote about that somewhere in this blog too. I don't blame that dude for being pissed and I don't blame these women in the laundromat either. Frankly if I found somebody jerking off in my laundromat, my reaction would be the same and I just might deck him.


Fortunately my car was not in the parking lot where she could see my license plate number but out on the street. I was relieved when she didn't follow me to my car. I was also relieved when the cops didn't show up at my place in the next couple of days. I don't know if she called the cops or not but this was just too fucking close for comfort. Needless to say I never went back to that laundromat! I also learned a lesson that day for sure. There is definitely a wrong time and a wrong place to beat your meat! All I can tell you is that it seemed like a good idea at the time..and yeah I know...I should be ashamed of myself!



P.S. Well at least I'm not as bad as the dude in the above picture! He's definitely got more "balls" than I do! I'm way too much of a gentleman (really I am) to jack off a in a public place! Okay when I think I'm alone in a laundromat or at an XXX rated movie at the Pussycat Theatre excepted! And this dude is jerking off in Walmart of all places! I mean isn't that sacrilegious? I'm shocked!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Some Things Never Change!


Well I really thought I'd have another headline for this post like "I Finally Got Laid Again!" but it ended up as just another Saturday night of jacking off. Some things never change...or so it seems in my life! I had a hot date lined up for Saturday night, postponed from a couple of weeks ago. I hoped that I would come out of it with at least a hand job and hopefully lots more! Thoughts of sucking tits and eating pussy as well as being sucked and fucked were running through my nasty mind all week! I hadn't jacked off for almost a week despite all those boners I had while thinking about possibly getting my first piece of tail since last September. I was saving "Junior" for all that action on Saturday night, wanting "him" to be full charged and ready for action!

 I talked to Marcella on the phone Thursday night and all systems were go. She even gave some subtle verbal hints that she was ready to get laid herself. Saturday morning I cleaned up the place, hid all my porno and dug out my Viagra (although my dick was telling me I wasn't going to need it this night!) Then Marcella calls me Saturday afternoon and says she is sorry but she is not feeling well and wants to cancel our date. Grrrrr!!! Damn the bad luck!!!


Marcella is the Filipino gal that I've gotten friendly with at a coffee shop where we both stop for coffee at the same time almost every morning. She's 38, never been married and works in a medical clinic. She shares an apartment with another Filipino woman less than a mile from my place here in Stockton. She's very pleasant to talk to, quite attractive with long black hair, glasses and a lovely slim body. Every time I look at that shapely young butt I start thinking nasty thoughts and feel a rising in my pants! She's been in my jack off fantasies more and more often lately (sorry Jessica and Lindsay!) Marcella is of course 27 years younger than me and I'm not sure how much we really have in common. Being a realist I truly wonder if there is any long term potential in a relationship such as ours. All I really know is that she really turns me on and if I get the chance I am going to slip the big salami to her! We'll worry about how long the relationship lasts after that.! At my age you just don't let any younger poontang possibilities like this pass you by!


We didn't re-schedule the date when she called. Hopefully she hasn't decided to back out altogether. I'm sure I'll see her this week at the coffee shop and see what develops. I was disappointed about Saturday night of course but it's not the first time I've had a date cancelled. It's almost surely not the last either! As always with cancelled dates there was nothing else to do but whip out the old dick and jack it off which in recent years has become the fucking story of my life!


Oh well, jacking off still works and after not wanking for almost a week, that powerful ejaculation felt especially good to me. The only thing that would have felt better would be pumping it into Marcella's tight young pussy. Only time will tell if that will actually happen (sigh)!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Voyeurism is a Wonderful Thing!


No that's not me in my horny teenage years spying on my sister while she was taking a shower although the only reason I didn't do that is that we didn't have those old fashioned key holes on our interior doors, damn the bad luck! I did get an accidental full frontal nude view of Karen one time in our teenage years and had a hard on for a month, couldn't stop jacking off to her!


I keep thinking of last week when I stumbled on that kid getting a blow job from his girlfriend in one of our rural parks near Stockton. Of course I am still envious of that lucky little bastard (some guys have all the luck!) but as always the whole incident turned me on even if I wasn't the lucky recipient of the blow job. Every time I think about it I get a hard on! I just love voyeurism, don't you? Isn't it a rush when you unexpectedly get anything from just a peek to an extended look at somebody partially or totally nude or even better yet doing the nasty? You know you like it! If you don't I feel sorry for you! Voyeurism, like masturbation, is truly one of the joys of life for most of us and few of us, men or women, can look the other way when we get the opportunity to be a voyeur.



Besides my cheap voyeuristic thrill of last week a couple fairly recent similarly erotic incidents come to mind. Last summer I was in Hawaii, sitting out on the balcony of a high rise Waikiki hotel one evening, enjoying the tropical breezes and sipping a mai tai. I suddenly happened to get a glimpse of a bare butt in the apartment building across the way. Looking closer I could easily see that it was a female butt! My kind of butt! A lovely young Asian woman apparently was just doing her housework (mainly washing the dishes) stark naked on this very warm Hawaiian evening...and with the drapes open yet! I grabbed my camcorder with it's long zoom lens and looked through the viewfinder for a better view. By the time I got my first full frontal view, my dick was throbbing!

I pulled my cock out of my shorts and jacked off as I watched the free show through my camcorder's electronic viewfinder. What a rush! I wondered if anybody was watching me through binoculars or telephoto zoom lenses as I was jacking off on that dark balcony. That possibility even added to the erotic thrill. Just about the time I was blasting off the young woman disappeared from view. Her show was over and so was mine. Yeah I know! You say I'm a dirty old man and a peeping tom! Nah I'm just a normal guy and a voyeur! There's a difference...I think! I mean the drapes were open and she was nude! What's a horny old guy to do?


Later last summer I was over on the coast near Santa Cruz. I noticed a group of people standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean. I wondered what they were looking at and knowing there was a nude beach down there, I pulled off the highway and went over to take a look myself. You guessed it. The spectators were not whale watching! A young couple was fucking right there in the middle of the beach. They had the beach all to themselves on this particular morning. The audience on the cliff was pretty much all ages from rowdy teenagers to old farts like myself, both sexes, about twenty of us in all. There were several giggling Japanese people, tourists I believe, taking pictures as fast as their cameras would shoot.

There was also one older black couple who were having more fun than anybody. The guy was cracking some pretty good jokes and like me wished that it was him down there slipping the salami to that young babe. I'm sure most of us guys had boners. I know I did but unfortunately this was not the time nor the place to whip it out and give it some exercise. We watched the entire performance and when the guy finally pulled his dick out of his girlfriend and laid beside her the old black guy led us all in a round of applause. The guy on the beach waved and smiled but his girlfriend suddenly noticing they had an audience grabbed some clothes to cover up. A little bit late for modesty babe! I went back to my car and jacked off. A memorable afternoon for sure and more proof that most of us are voyeurs any time and place we get the chance to be.


Recalling that Santa Cruz incident reminded me of another time a couple of years ago. I was down on the Santa Cruz wharf, right by the beach and boardwalk, shooting some home video of the babes on the (non-nude) beach. I videotaped one lovely young lady coming out of the water (above picture) and then a minute later panned over to a spot on the beach where she was changing out of her wet bathing suit...at least the top part of it. I could see her boobies (below picture)! A more perfect set of firm young titties you will never see! BOING! Instant boner for yours truly, the horny old guy...all the better because this moment of voyeuristic pleasure was caught on video tape. I still get a hard on and usually jack off when I look at these still frames! I just love being a voyeur!



I missed a nice chance to be a voyeur in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. They had a naked bike ride (only in San Francisco!) through the city. Looking at some of the pics on flickr, I definitely should have been there! I mean look at this beautiful young woman biker on the left. Lovely, lovely, lovely...and her breasts are absolute perfection! Click on the picture for a better view! Talk about suckable! WOW! I'm in love or at least in lust! If only I was 50 years younger...I probably still wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell! I may even forget about Lindsay Lohan, my Jack Off Fantasy of the Month! Yeah folks, voyeurism is a wonderful thing indeed! I hope you all enjoy it at least half as much as I do! If you don't, well you should be ashamed of yourselves!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Oh Hell! A Hand Job Would Do!





Okay if I can't have a blow job, the next best thing to getting fucked or sucked off right now would be a hand job! My sister Karen actually gave me my hand  job a long, long time ago. It was just a little rather innocent sexual experimentation in a motel room we shared together on a family vacation trip to Santa Cruz when we were in our early teens. I don't consider it actual incest. We just went one step further than "You show me yours, I'll show you mine!" We got caught by our parents the morning after the second night of mutual masturbation and needless to say mom and dad were not amused! The shit hit the fan big time! No more hand jobs (or anything else!) from Karen ever! She was scared straight even if I wasn't! I was really surprised how different it felt when somebody else jacked you off though. So much better than just doing it myself! I've been just crazy about those sweet hand jobs ever since!





I'm really not sure why hand jobs feel so much better than jacking off by yourself. The warm, soft female hand certainly has something to do with it and I guess just having someone else totally in control adds to the thrill. All I know is having is having a female hand jack me off is a total rush for me and I suspect it is for most other guys too. Massage parlors do lots of business in providing hand jobs for an extra fee you know! From what I understand it's the most common sexual act performed in those establishments.



Over the years I've encouraged my wives and girlfriends to jack me off when they were not in the mood for fucking or oral sex and sometimes just as a change of pace from those other wonderful activities. No worries about unwanted pregnancies or STDs if you are in a very casual relationship or a one night stand either. Definitely the safest sex with a partner you can have! We should be encouraging young people to engage in mutual masturbation in lieu of the more risky stuff but you can see what happened when Dr. Joycelyn Elders, the Clinton appointed Surgeon General (and one of my idols), even mentioned the "m" word in public. The right winger wackos and religious fanatic nut cases went bonkers and she was on the way out the door. What a fucked up society we have...and shame on Bubba Clinton, a bigger horndog than even me if that's possible, for asking Dr. Elders to resign. If she refused, he let it be known that she would have been fired. Meanwhile the blow jobs from Monica Lewinsky in the oval office presumably continued, not that I really blame old Bubba for that! Who among us guys could resist Monica on her knees with her mouth wrapped around our dong? Kicking the good doctor out for telling the truth was still a disgraceful act though and in my humble opinion a bigger black mark on Clinton's presidency than all of those blow jobs from Monica put together!



As I recall, the last hand job I had was in the fall of 2003. Holy Shit! Almost three fucking years ago! A sweet red haired nurse named Lily who I met on the bus to Lake Tahoe jacked me off in a mutually agreed night of safe sex in my hotel room at the lake. It felt as great as it always did and I am way overdue for another of those wonderful hand jobs (among other things!) I've actually thought about going to a massage parlor or breaking my promise to myself to avoid the whores to satisfy my lustful yearning for a hand job. Those thingies are definitely the only sex act that I would have performed on me by a whore nowadays but I think I would be pretty safe there, even without a condom. As much as I love to jack off, I have to admit that I am just getting sort of tired of doing it myself! I've got a date for Saturday night (postponed from a couple of weeks ago) and with any luck I'll come away with at least some kind of sexual relief. A nice juicy fuck or a blow job would be preferred but if not a hand job would feel mighty fine!