Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ten Year Boner...Wet Dream or Nightmare?


Click on the above image to make text larger so you can read the "hard facts" of this story!


This story is all over the cable TV news networks and is making it's way around the world via the web. Hey isn't that every guy's dream? A permanent hard on, a 24/7 boner, always ready for action, more staying power than Superman! Sounds pretty cool to me! I could save a lot of money on Viagra too! I guess it could be embarrassing at times though, especially around family and friends. It seems like tight shorts would pretty much conceal the woody in public and in family situations though, at least make it far less obvious. I mean all of us guys get boners when we really don't want them and unless we are naked nobody usually notices. Unless you are wearing no shorts and very loose pants, boners generally don't stick out like flagpoles you know. A little extra bulge? Big fucking deal, they think you are hung!


Come to think of it, between puberty and my early twenties I pretty much had a 24/7 boner myself! Those boners sure felt good and gave me lots of pleasure too! However if sexual arousal didn't always accompany the stiffy, I suppose it could be inconvenient, uncomfortable and maybe even painful at times. In reality a 24/7 boner may not be all it's cracked up to be. I wouldn't mind trying one for a while though! If the gizmo isn't working like it's it's supposed to (you can turn your boner on and off?), a lawsuit and a monetary award may be in order. $400,000 doesn't sound too excessive since his lawyer will probably take nearly half of that. The dude may also become quite a local and national celebrity. I'm sure that he's already been contacted by Jerry Springer, Ophra, Larry King and especially Nancy Grace...who will probably want to examine the "evidence"! He'll probably hear from more than a few lonely old ladies who will want to meet him for obvious reasons!



Speaking of boners, I've got a stiffy this morning! ("What else is new?" you ask!) I go in to my urologist's office today for my second post vasectomy masturbation in a bottle to make sure that there are no spermy thingies in my semen. Jacking off in a bottle is absolutely the most fun you can have in a doctor's office so of course I am looking forward to it, especially after the mandated no ejaculations for four to five days before the test. Even at my advanced age, four days is about as long as I can go without some sort of sexual release. Marcella is usually only available on weekends so jacking off has to get me through her work week.


I'm going to ask the nurse about some porn today. Last month I was surprised to find that there was no porn at all in that little jack off room, not that I really needed any. I just fantasized about having a threesome with the nurse and receptionist who I could hear talking to each other in the next room. It takes very little to get me "in the mood" to beat my meat as you probably all know by now. However there is probably an outrageous charge to my medical plan for my few minutes of self induced pleasure so I might as well ask for some complimentary visual stimulation so they get their money's worth. It's like when you fly you might as well take the little bag of peanuts (which is about all you get nowadays!) If they don't have any porn I may sue them or at least ask the nurse to come in and give me "a helping hand" if you know what I mean and I think you do! There is a fat chance that she would comply with that request of course and I'm too much of a gentleman (really!) to ask anyway! Nah with or without porn, I will have no problem in "taking care of business!" As a matter of fact I feel like doing just that right now! Control yourself Mike! Relief is just a few hours away dude!


Marcella is coming over on Friday night so I'll hopefully then get the kind of sexual release that I really need right now (can you say "blow job"?) Unfortunately she's not staying overnight and will be going to the Bay Area to visit her parents for the weekend. Bummer but it won't be the first weekend that I've been alone with just my dick and my right hand and I'm sure it won't be the last. By now I've become an expert at that and it ain't so bad. Lots of football, lots of pizza and lots of beer between all the jerking off! Life is good! Hopefully it's good for you too, my faithful readers (both of you!) Enjoy the weekend and I'll see you here with more incoherent babbling early next week!


UPDATE: I'm back from the urologist's office (and a wonderful experience it was, thank you very much!) I didn't even have to ask for the porn. The nurse asked me if I wanted "some magazines" right before I went in the whack off room. Hoping the magazines wouldn't be those damn outdated copies of Time and Sports Illustrated from the waiting room I answered yes. She came back with a cardboard box which turned out to have several copies of last year's Playboy, Penthouse and other men's magazines inside. No real hardcore porn at all though, damn the bad luck!


Well I thumbed through the dog eared copies until I found a centerfold (a redhead!) I liked, whipped out the old dong which was already standing at attention and went right to work. The only trouble is that you are advised to lie on the cot, the better to aim your dong into the bottle, and when you are getting close to ejaculating you have to hold your dick with one hand and the bottle with the other hand so the magazine has to go by the wayside right before you get to the good part of your experience. Not quite as enjoyable as jacking off to porn on your computer! If only the nurse would come in and hold the magazine (or something!) for you! Oh well, mission accomplished...but I think I actually enjoyed last month's threesome fantasy better than the magazines! I guess the nurse just forgot to ask if I wanted the magazines last month...or else she noticed the bulge in my pants and figured I didn't need them! One more jism check at the end of October and assuming the sperm count is zero I can start I can start riding Marcella bareback. Whoopee ti-yi-yo! Bye Bye for now!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Lets Talk About Cocks!


No I am not turning queer folks! Nor does that big schlong on the left belong to me! Anybody who has read this blog, where I frequently "let it all hang out" in more ways than one, knows that very well. I just find the whole thing about how so many of us guys are so hung up on the size of our weenies sort of fascinating. We don't worry about the size of our fingers or our toes so why do we worry so much about the size of our dongs? I suppose the obvious answer to that is that fingers and toes are not sexual organs. I wonder how long this nonsense has been going on. Did the prehistoric cave men check each other out and wish they had as big a dick as old Alley Oop over there? Were they all envious of the humongous dongs on the dinosaurs? Were the cave women attracted to the cave dude with the biggest cave dong? Am I desperate for a subject to write about this morning? You betcha!



Marcella thinks that I have a big dick and it seems to be more than just fibbing flattery. She tells me that almost every time we are in bed together. Who am I to burst her bubble? She says that she has only been with two other guys sexually in her life and they were both Filipino. That may or may not explain her delusion. I can't remember seeing any pictures of naked Filipino dudes, nor am I looking for any, so I can't comment on any racial comparisons. Having such a limited number of lovers has certainly shortened the playing field for her of course. Now if I can just keep her away from porn and the internet and by all means not let her come across any pictures of Big John Holmes or any African American dudes, maybe those compliments will keep on coming. Most of us guys like to hear those things, whether they are true of not. In my case they are definitely NOT!



The truth of course is that my dong is just normal sized. Yeah I've measured the goddamn thing! According to statistics I found on line the average size mature erect penis is between five and seven inches long. My boner (above) measures  right at 7 inches so I guess I'm actually at the high end of average...but still average. No way I could or would ever brag about the size of my ding-dong! When not erect it's always seemed to be a bit shorter than those of the other dudes that I've seen in locker and shower rooms. Frankly I felt a little inadequate in that department until I measured it flaccid and found that I'm in the normal range there too, right at four inches. After the measurements, which didn't come until I was nearly forty as I recall, I finally relaxed about my own private penis size issue. I guess that I should have made that measurement at age fifteen, saved myself a few years of "penis envy" (Woody Allen jokes that he is the only GUY who suffers from that!) Of course when I was fifteen, with no porn available to compare myself to, I thought I really did have a big dick and I was pretty sure all that jacking off had something to do with it! I would be one hung motherfucker by now if that indeed was the case!


A little wisdom gained through the years has definitely helped. Once you accept whatever physical attributes you have and learn to live with them life becomes much easier. I am quite sure that I would be exactly the same person I am now with a five inch boner or a nine inch boner as I am with my seven incher. Yeah I'll admit that nine incher would make me feel a bit more sexually secure than a five incher...and probably more popular down in San Francisco too! In sex, the size of your pecker isn't all that important anyway, as almost every woman on the planet will readily tell you. There is much more than fucking involved in having a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship!


For example on the man's part developing good pussy eating skills (and it took me a while to do that!) will more than compensate for having a smaller sized weenie. The skilled use of your hands and fingers is also important. Just being a considerate lover, a "nice guy" in bed who is just as concerned with your partner's satisfaction as your own is definitely THE most important thing. The size of our fucking dick just doesn't really mean shit to anybody but ourselves when you come right down to it, as hard as that is concept is to accept for most of us. I mean sex feels just as good no matter how small or big your dick is so who gives a fuck? The sad truth is almost all of us guys do!



The only complaint about the size of my cock that I can remember in my whole life came back in my thirties during my swinging one night stand days. A woman I met in a bar said to me right after we fucked "I really thought since you were so tall you would have a bigger dick!" She didn't say it jokingly either, it was in fact a very sarcastic comment. I replied "Yeah I thought you would have a tighter pussy too!", equally rude I'll admit (we'd both had more than enough to drink!) but well deserved in this case I think. She told me to get my ass out of her bed, right then and there! The end of a beautiful relationship? No I don't think so. I suppose there are a few women to whom a big dick is very important, who would dump a guy because of the inadequate size of his wiener. They are certainly entitled to their opinion and their choices but frankly I have as much respect for them as I do for those men who would dump a woman because her breasts were not big enough.


Things really haven't changed much in the last fifty years. Read the teen discussion boards and you'll still see that today's teenage boys are even more concerned and obsessed with penis size than those of past generations. They are still worried that their dongs are not big enough and looking for penis pumps, pills and exercises to make them bigger. The increase the size obsession certainly isn't limited to teen aged boys either. It's a billion dollar industry aimed at men of all ages. The sad truth is that none of those pills, pumps or other silly gizmos work. At least I've never read any evidence that they do anything but take your money. Surgery can be successful but it's very expensive and can have severe complications from what I understand, like not being able to get the old pecker to stand up afterwards! Even if you are hung like our friend on the left (Whoa dude!) it's best just to accept what you were born with in my most humble and ancient opinion. It's a true sign of maturity when you can finally say to yourself and everyone around you "I'm satisfied with what I have down there and I really don't wish I had a bigger cock!" I'm ALMOST to that stage of maturity myself!



Aside from the size issue there is the controversy about which is best...to be circumcised or uncircumcised, to be cut or uncut. Almost all of the males of my generation were circumcised and as you can see from the picture of my limp dick at left that I am no exception. I've read the pros and cons of circumcision over the years and I'm really not sure which state is better. Personally if they would have asked me I would have said "Forget it doc! Get that fucking knife away from my little weenie!" but of course they didn't ask me and I couldn't have answered if they did. I don't see any substantial benefits to circumcision and from what I hear the practice is slowly dieing in this country just as it has in most of the rest of the world. I suspect that us circumcised dudes will eventually become the minority.


I've heard that sex may actually feel better for us guys with an uncut dong and that some women prefer to look at and be fucked by uncut dongs.Then again other women apparently say they prefer their men to be cut and say there really is no difference in feelings for them when they get fucked...so I just don't fucking know which is better...and at this stage of my life I don't fucking care.



With or without a partner I can't imagine sex feeling any better than it does now and I'm not about to go through an expensive, time consuming, maybe even painful foreskin reconstruction to possibly find out differently. Nah just like with the size thing, I'm satisfied with my ancient but still functioning circumcised ding-a-ling. If anybody else doesn't like it...well fuck 'em! LOL And that's about all I have to say about cocks for today and hopefully for any time in the future! Thanks for reading and see y'all next time!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Back to the Nude Beach!


We're having our "Indian Summer" weather here in Northern California now. That usually means that there is no fog on the coast so I made a two day excursion over to the ocean, about 100 miles from Stockton, to check out my favorite nude beaches. I really wanted to wait until the weekend and take Marcella but she said there is just no way she is going to take her clothes off in public and really doesn't care to see any other naked people either. Spoil sport! I was hoping she would want to come along and maybe bring her roommate, the lovely and boner inducing Patty. Ah the thought of Patty stark naked on the beach...is it too early to start jacking off? Anyway, since Marcella didn't want to come, I decided to go by myself and do the trip mid-week while the coast was still warm and pleasant and clear of fog.


I wrote an earlier post HERE about how much I love the nude beaches. I've been enjoying them ever since I was in my early thirties. At one time I was a frequent visitor and could give you the location of most of the good nude beaches in Northern California, even some in other parts of the state. As I got older and realized that too much sun was not the best thing in the world for your skin I went less often. I've also always lived inland from the coast too, mainly in Sacramento and Stockton, which made regular visits a bit time consuming and impractical. I knew of a few nude recreation areas along the river in Sacramento but I am not aware of any here in Stockton, although there may indeed be some on the delta. I do still like to take a few trips to the coast each year to enjoy the nude beach "scenery" if not the sun though and also to gaze upon the rugged coastline and the mighty Pacific Ocean. It's truly one of the most beautiful parts of this state and the entire country I think. Alas it looks like this will be my only trip for this year, since it's now late in the season.


As you might expect of a horny old guy like me, the scenery of the nude female variety is the thing I enjoy most on the nude beaches. Anybody who thinks that guys don't go to nude beaches to check out the babes is totally full of shit! Oh yeah, they are nice places anyway, even when there are no women around but unless you are gay, no guy is interested in going to an all male nude beach! The babes are the main attraction for most of us guys, end of story! The more women there are, the more enjoyable the beach is. It's as freaking simple as that! The post summer crowd was a bit sparse at both of the nude beaches I visited on this trip. The nearby Santa Cruz college girls have gone back to school (sigh!) but there still were a number of women of all ages and sizes, mostly with male companions but a few with women friends or by themselves. Of course I checked them all out!


I couldn't help but notice the steadily increasing female anatomy trend of tattoos and shaved or greatly trimmed pubic hair on this trip. No big surprise on the tattoos as I've spotted them on the exposed skin of so many clothed women (seems like almost ALL women!) in recent years but I was surprised about all the shaved pussies. I still prefer the natural look...unmarked skin, no piercings and full hairy bushes...but of course women have the right to do what they want with their bodies. They were still a delight to gaze upon. Not all Playboy models to be sure, but that's what makes it interesting. I really do enjoy the variety of shapes and sizes of women of all ages that you see on the nude beaches. For me it's much more interesting and erotic gazing at them than at the rather same looking siliconed bimbos you see in the adult magazines and on the web,


I didn't spot any sexual activity on this trip. Sex is not something you see regularly on nude beaches but it does happen from time to time. Couples are usually very discreet when they feel the need to get frisky, They find a secluded area, usually near the far end of the beach and do the nasty there, out of view of families and anyone else who might object to public sex. I've seen quite a few couplings over the years but sad to say I've never been a participant. I came close one time with a girlfriend but no cigar...she chickened out at the last minute. I've always wanted to fuck on the beach but just never had the chance, damn the bad luck! At this stage of the game, unless I can talk Marcella into it (very unlikely!) I think I'm just shit out of luck!



I've jacked off quite a few times on nude beaches. Masturbation is also something that you need to find a private, secluded spot for. You don't want to offend anyone and with everyone having cell phones with them today, that is now more important than ever. The cops would not be amused by a public beach masturbator! And yet in the right place with privacy, I've found it to be quite a thrill. I don't know if it's the sun's rays on your body or just doing something taboo in the great outdoors and in a place you could possibly be seen...but it's a total rush, just as any outdoor fucking is I suspect! Sun tan lotion makes a great lube too! I've had some of the most enjoyable masturbation experiences and powerful ejaculations of my life on nude beaches. Yeah I found a time and place to do the deed on this trip too. Thoughts of a nude Patty were all that I needed for inspiration! The whole jack off experience and end result felt just as good as it always does on a nude beach! WOW!!!



Boners do happen on nude beaches too, even without the occasional resulting sex. Of course every guy isn't walking around with a hard on but they do happen from time to time. No big deal, nobody cares! It's easy to just turn over on your stomach if you are embarrassed. I've had my share of boners there myself over the years but as I aged they have certainly become less of a problem. I suspect that a nude Patty would indeed give me the inspiration to spring the mother of all boners though. Marcella has a lovely body but by now I'm so familiar with it that I doubt I'd get a hard on by just being naked in public with her. Patty is a different story though! My most embarrassing nude beach boner was many years ago when I was laying on a beach towel talking to a woman my age I'd just met there. Her simply stunning jailbait daughter (also stark naked!) who had been swimming joined us. I tried to avert my eyes and think of other things...but BOING! "Junior" snapped to attention! The woman was not amused, immediately stopped talking to me and in a few minutes she and her daughter got up and moved. What can I say except that boners just happen ma'am!



I spent the night in the lovely beachfront town of Santa Cruz which brings back lots of pleasant memories from childhood on up for me. There is a great old fashioned amusement park boardwalk there, now pretty much shut down after the summer season. Santa Cruz is also the place where me and my sister as early teens carried the game of "You show me yours, I'll show you mine!" one step further on a family vacation. A bit of innocent but still incestuous experimentation (mutual masturbation) which I wrote about early on in this blog. Every time I'm in Santa Cruz, even now over 50 years later, I think of that weekend in that Santa Cruz motel room with my sis. Amazing how some childhood experiences you can't really just leave behind you!

I drove up the coast yesterday morning and stopped at another beach I remembered as being nude but everyone is now wearing bathing suits there. Damn the bad luck! After visiting nude beaches, bathing suits truly look ridiculous! I mean who needs the damn things? Nude beaches are really a liberating experience. I think from the first time they visit them and take off their clothes, most people feel totally comfortable with their own nudity and the nudity of those around them. All ages, all sizes, all races...everybody is accepted! I can't ever remember seeing any fights or any of the rowdy behavior you sometimes see at clothed beaches. As I said in my other nude beach post, it's pretty hard to be macho with your weenie hanging out and flopping around.



 Nude beach crowds tend to be the among the most mellow people you will find anywhere.Just behave yourself, don't try to put the make on anyone who doesn't want it and don't try to take anyone's picture without permission and you will find yourself among friends. I've really become a believer and wish we had more nude recreation areas in all areas of the state and the country. I can see having separate "bathing suits required" areas for those people who are offended by nudity. I do feel sorry for those people but of course their rights have to be respected. There just should be more clothing optional areas throughout the country, at the coast and away from the coast. Nudity is much more accepted at European beaches but we Americans still have some major hang ups about it. Extreme violence is of course much more acceptable to us than nudity, in our media and in our real life and that's pretty damn sad.

So here I am back in Stockton town, a bit sun burned (even with all that lotion I put on!) but feeling refreshed and relaxed after my trip to the coast. Marcella is working late tonight but is coming over Saturday morning to spend the weekend. That of course means more relaxation of my favorite kind if you know what I mean and I think you do. Have a good weekend y'all...and try to spend at least part of it with your clothes off huh? Now back to my own private and delicious thoughts of a naked Patty! Yummy!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Monday Morning Mumbling


Well I feel much better this morning than I did last Monday morning. I'm completely over being rejected for that fucking masturbation movie, although it's probably the biggest casting mistake since they decided on Harrison Ford to play Indiana Jones instead of the originally cast Pee Wee Herman (you didn't know that, did you?) Of course I was rooting for Pee Wee because we both share the same "hobby" if you know what I mean and I think you do! I just don't understand these Hollywood moguls and some of their goofy decisions! And yet I wish Lynn well on her masturbation video or movie project. As you all know, it's a subject that's near and dear to my heart. Lynn sounds like a good gal and she deserves success for tackling a still somewhat taboo subject (except when played for a cheap laugh) in the movies. Now I promise to shut up about being rejected for a role in that goddamn thing. You never know, I may have ended up on the cutting room floor anyway and that would have been an even bigger rejection than not being asked to jack off for the camera. It's over...I think (sigh)! Psst Lynn...I'm still available darlin'!



Unlike last weekend when she was out of town, my sweetie Marcella spent most of the past weekend here and that also helps my cheerful disposition this morning. It's a lot more pleasant ending your weekend feeling "pussy whipped" instead of sexually frustrated and I've been in the latter condition many times, despite all of my compulsive weekend jacking off. I feel so sexually satisfied this morning that I might not even jack off for a long time...maybe even 24 hours or so! After not being in a relationship for quite a while, I still really appreciate having a steady sex partner again. The novelty has definitely not worn off yet and I don't think that it will, at least for a long while. I do still enjoy my more solitary lifestyle during the week though. It's like having the best of both worlds, Marcella on the weekends and just me and my computer and my dick during the week. Marcella and I usually go out to dinner on Wednesday nights (rarely with a time or place for fucking) and maybe see each other at the coffee shop in the morning a couple of times during the work week. Other than that, ours seems to be a weekends only affair and that's okay with me, at least for the time being.


Frankly Marcella and I don't have that much in common besides the sex and just liking to be around each other but I think that's more than enough for now. We do have completely different tastes in music, movies and food among other things. We don't agree much about political matters much either and since Marcella is Catholic, I have to keep my strong feelings about that religion's outrageous anti-sex, anti-masturbation dogma in check. There is also a generation gap of course. I'm 66 and Marcella is 38. We were raised in two different eras and two different cultures. She's a Filipino and I'm a WASP although I think that's the least of our differences. I've always thought that mixed race romances were completely normal and healthy and in many cases very sexy. We do still get the stares in public though, primarily because of the age difference I suspect. Some people probably think I'm just another old fart with a younger mail order bride since many of those women are indeed from the Philippines. Let them think what they want, I truly don't give a fuck!


The important thing is that this mainly weekends only thing seems to be working out well for both of us. I don't feel that I'm taking advantage of Marcella nor is she taking advantage of me. We genuinely do enjoy each other's company despite our many differences. We have a lot of fun in and out of bed! I treat her with the respect she deserves and I get the same from her. Is it really true love? Probably not, at least not so far and I think I speak for both of us there. Will it last forever? Again probably not, although that too may be premature to speculate on. It's still early in the relationship and for now I'm determined to just enjoy it and take things one day at a time. That's actually been my philosophy most of my life. All I know is I feel much better in every respect since this relationship started. It has done almost as much good for my blood pressure as it has for my dick! I definitely look more forward to the weekends than I have for a long time, as much for Marcella's non sexual company as for the juicy sex we have together. We'll let the future take care of itself but for now I consider myself one lucky and happy old fucker! Lots of fringe benefits to savor! Oh do those Sunday morning blow jobs (right before Marcella goes to church!) feel good! Yeah life could be much worse...and in time will probably get so! For now I'm just going to relax and enjoy it!


I still do have some misgivings and guilt about writing about Marcella so candidly in this blog. I have the feeling that she would not be amused and quite possibly be deeply offended if she saw what I had written about her in the few short months we've been together. I can't even say that I would blame her if she got highly pissed off. It most likely would mean the end of our relationship in fact. However she is so much a part of my life now that there is just no way to leave her out. I also feel that I have to be as honest about her as I have about my other past relationships here. It's really been a liberating experience letting it all hang out (in more ways than one!) in this blog and really helped me make sense of my life, past and present. Like most bloggers I suspect, I'm writing as much for myself as for anyone who stumbles on these incoherent ramblings. I'm just not about to change course at this point. The only practical solution for me is to keep on writing and continue to keep this blog a secret from Marcella. I have to remember to sign out of Blogger on Friday night and clear my history since Marcella sometimes uses this computer on weekends. So far, so good but Marcella dear if you ever stumble on these words, please forgive me baby...and put down that knife honey!



Hmmm...I really intended to write about something else today but one thought of Marcella has led to another. I hope this hasn't bored you folks too much. I'll be back later in the week with something a bit lighter I hope. For a chuckle right now to end this outrageous mental masturbation, I came across this picture on another blog. As the other blogger commented "If this doesn't kill the Sponge Bob  Square Pants craze, nothing will!" We can only hope so! Talk about another candidate for my "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" award...NOT! Have a happy and sexy week my invisible and easily amused friends in cyberspace, whoever and wherever you are! Thanks for reading!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Fuckin' at the Drive In Movie!



There was a report on CNN a few days ago about the dwindling number of drive in movie theaters in the USA and it put me in a nostalgic mood about those wonderful and sexy places I remember fondly from my younger years. I haven't been to a drive in movie in many, many years, I don't believe since I left Sacramento where we had several drive-ins when I lived there. No drive ins at all are left here in Stockton although there was at least one when I moved here. The drive in movies especially in the latter years featured lots of sex and action but most of it wasn't up there on that big screen but in the front and back seats of the cars parked by the speaker poles. I think most of my generation and probably the generation after us has fond memories of those warm summer nights watching movies and making out under the stars. I know I sure do!


I think I was only about 9 or 10 years old when I started noticing all the action in the front and back seats of the drive ins. Our family frequently went to the drive ins in Santa Rosa and later Napa where I grew up. I soon noticed all the heavy making out and steamed up windows in the cars around us. Sometimes couples would move from the front seat to the back seat and I was pretty sure they were doing that nasty thing called "fucking" back there. That was confirmed one night when I looked over and saw a guy's bare buns bouncing up and down in the back seat in the car right next to us. I nudged my sister Karen and we both started giggling and trying to stand up to get a better look. When my dad noticed what was going on next to us he told us to sit down, knock it off and look at the goddamn movie. A few minutes later he moved the car to another spot and our interesting and educational sideshow was over. Unfortunately all we saw was those bouncing buns but that was enough to give me a stiff little weenie. I couldn't wait until I was able to do that nasty fucking thing in the back seat!


It certainly wasn't all horny couples doing the nasty at the drive ins of course. There were many families like ours there and some couples, married, I suspect , who just watched the movie sitting close together (pre-bucket seat of course!) or even far apart in the front seat. The drive ins definitely did have the well deserved reputation in those days as places to make out though. They were commonly known as "passion pits" in fact. The big back seats in those 1950's American cars definitely gave you the room to stretch out and slip the big salami to your sweetie. If you didn't score a "home run", you could hopefully make it to second or third base in the front or back seat. I suspect lots of cherries were popped and lots of children were conceived in the back seats of those Chevys, Fords, Pontiacs and Buicks back then. Lots of girls had their breasts felt and nipples sucked on for the first time and got the first feel of their boyfriend's big hard dick along with his many requests to perform certain acts on that thing too. Ah yes, those were the days!



Teenagers in particular appreciated the drive ins. Unlike today, back in the 1950's most mothers did not work. There was no going to your house or your girlfriend's house to try to get your girlfriends bra off and her panties down after school or during summer vacation. Mama was almost always home and frowned on such activities! Drive ins usually gave you the privacy you needed and were much cheaper than going to a motel. In addition you got to watch at least part of a double feature movie and chow down on that awful drive in snack bar food. What's not to like? Of course there was always the danger of being seen while you were sucking on your girlfriend's titty or she was sucking on your weenie but that just sort of added to the thrill.

I've heard that some drive ins employed security guard types who would stop and lecture or eject overly amorous couples but I never saw them at any drive in I ever attended. I think for the most part management looked the other way. I mean a paid customer was a paid customer even if they were fucking in the back seat! They would probably work up an even bigger appetite for the snack bar at intermission time. Some drive ins used to show a short film clip before the show and at intermission that said something like "Hello young lovers! Now behave yourself!" but most of us guys just laughed at that and tried to cop our first feel of the night!



I never had a car available until I was a senior in high school so I was a bit late in beginning to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh in the "passion pits". My first girlfriend Vicki was my first drive in date. We did lots of heavy petting from the beginning and I got my first blow job from VICKI at the old Kay Von Drive In in Napa. I came in her mouth and she almost barfed. Good thing we had that empty popcorn box available. I quite sure that wasn't the first time something like that happened there! I suspect many a young lady sucked on a dick for the first time at the drive in movie and almost as many got their first unwanted mouthful of cum during those oral encounters!


Vicki never forgave me for that SPURT in her mouth though and it was the first and last blow job I ever got at the Kay Von Drive In and in fact the last full blow job I ever got from Vicki. Oh did it feel good though! Lots of titty feels and nipple sucks on subsequent drive in dates, a little stinkfinger and quite a few hand jobs but no more drive in blow jobs from my sweetie pie Vicki! No fucking in the back seat either. Vicki was a virgin at the time and definitely not interested in having her cherry popped in the back seat of the family Buick at a drive in movie! We took care of that formality later on at her house but that's a whole different story!

As a matter of fact I don't think I've ever fucked in the back seat at a drive in theater in my entire life. Plenty of nasty things happened in the front seat but I don't think I ever did the full and complete nasty in the back seat even once. Throughout my twenties and into my thirties I was a frequent patron of the drive ins in Fairfield and Sacramento, almost always accompanied by girlfriends or one of my two wives. We did lots of heavy petting and with any luck the evening would include a hand job or even better a blow job before the show was over. Sometimes we actually went to see the goddamn movies and the sex was minimal or non existent! ! I guess by then with my own apartment or our combined home there was no need to crawl into the back seat in order to fuck. It was much more convenient and comfortable to suck and fuck at home.


Yet I wonder if I missed something! It's probably something I should have tried at least once since I've tried almost everything else sexually. If there was still a drive in here in Stockton, I wonder if Marcella would be willing to get in the back seat with me? Oh forget it! We both drive small Japanese cars! The thought of a 66 year old guy fucking in the back seat of a Honda Civic is more than just a little ridiculous, it's quite impossible! Someone could also walk by and either be grossed out or die laughing if they even saw an old fart like me me trying it! I should have done my back seat drive in movie fucking way back when cars were big and I had the chance! I'd still go for another drive in blow job though! I wonder if Marcella would suck me off in a drive in? I hope so!


By the way in the Golden Age of Porno (1970-1985) a few drive ins actually showed XXX rated hardcore movies. They of course had to be in fairly isolated locations away from highways and streets and public areas.. Can you imagine the crashes as Joe Sixpack got a look at the action up there on the screen while driving by on the freeway? I had one such drive in fairly close by when I lived in Sacramento. It was the Westlane Drive In in Davis. It was in a mostly farming area with the screen facing away from the highway and just a back road leading to the box office at the back. There seemed to be a lot of kids on bikes on that back road, some of them settled down in the ditch getting some explicit sex education from that big wide drive in screen. I would have been doing the same thing at their age!


I went to the Westlane a couple times. In a regular drive in you see hardly any single men (or women for that matter) but the Westlane had more single guys than couples, definitely no kids in any back seat. You can bet most of the guys had their zippers open and were jacking off while watching the porn. I know I was! There was more privacy there than at an indoor theater for whacking off...but then along came video tape which made both indoor theater and drive in porno obsolete. The Westlane like most other drive ins is long gone and demolished now...but not forgotten!

Anyway I have wonderful, sex filled memories of all those drive in movies. May they not totally disappear from our landscape altogether. If you have one near you, consider yourself lucky and patronize it once in a while. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do in the back seat. Believe me, that gives you LOTS of latitude! See you at the snack bar and remember to remove your speaker from your car window and place in back on the post before you leave! Zip up your fly too!