Friday, September 01, 2006

Jacking Off to Angelina Jolie!

I haven't named a bonafide nut case as my "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" since I named Ann Coulter and Nancy Grace many months ago so it's time to give another wacko this great honor. Horny Old Guy is proud to announce that Ms. Angelina Jolie will be his Jack Off Fantasy of the Month for September. In the past I would fantasize about my honorees as I performed my ritual Saturday night jack off session and that would be every Saturday night for the entire month. Now that I'm in a relationship and am usually "slipping the salami" to my sweetie Marcella on Saturday nights, I've had to make some changes and perform the ceremony in the middle of the week. Somehow it just doesn't seem the same!

Angelina of course is a babe, even if she is a bit bonkers! As the daughter of Jon "Midnight Cowboy" Voight (who she hasn't spoken to in years!), how could she be be anything else but somewhat nuts? There is the business of writing the name of her first hubby in blood on her white shirt on their wedding day. Okay! Then while she was married to Billy Bob Thorton (Whoa! There's a pair!), they carried vials of each other's blood around their necks. Uh huh! Finally those rumors of incest with her brother, pictured with her at left! Is he playing with himself or just copping a feel of sis's cute ass? Check out that cleavage! That would be enough to give any dude, brother or not, a stiff weenie! Her stating that she was just so much in love with her bro and then following that with a lingering full on lips kiss at an awards ceremony made lots of people wonder about that sibling relationship! Now Brad Pitt is Angelina's main squeeze of course and they are continuing to say and do crazy things together as Brad follows her around like a puppy. You know what is really scary? Angelina now has a pilot's license and is flying her own plane! Does our Homeland Defense team know about this?

However when you look at those lovely full lips and fantasize them wrapped around your ding-a-ling, all is forgiven for most of us guys, young and old. Nut case or not, Angelina is a indeed a babe who definitely belongs in all of our jack off fantasies! Furthermore she is willing to take her clothes off for the camera from time to time in movies...and that definitely warrants our eternal gratitude as well as our stiff dicks! We love you Angelina! Keep on doing those crazy things as long as you do them naked once in a while! If you're ever in Stockton, I'll meet you at one of our finest gourmet dining establishments (your choice of Taco Bell or Jack in the Box!) and present you with this award in person. Until then I will be thinking about you as I "take care of business" every Satur..I mean every Wednesday night in September.

Here are some stills from one of the hot Angelia flicks that I mentioned above. WOW! What flick is this and when will it be on HBO?

With those lovely images causing a rising in my shorts, I wish Angelina and the rest of you nice folks a Happy Labor Day weekend. I'm taking Marcella and her roommate Patty (another babe!) to the State Fair in Sacramento on Sunday. We're coming back for a big traditional Labor Day picnic on Monday. Fantasies of a threesome with Marcella and Patty are running through my nasty mind right now but I'm enough of a realist to know that just ain't gonna happen! (sigh) Nothing wrong with a little more boner inducing fantasy though! I'm tempted to jack off but I better save this stiffy for Marcella! She's coming over tonight and we're going to get an early start on the weekend. Whatever y'all are doing this holiday weekend, have fun! Hey where the fuck did our summer go? Bye now!


Anonymous said...

Damn she is a hotty, now you got me real hard, and at work of all things. Excuse me while I head the washroom. Love those work afternoon jerks,,have a great weekend Horny Guy, bi for now Rob

Anonymous said...

The movie is Gia. About that nutty supermodel, great role, hot movie.

Horny Old Guy said...

Nothing like jerking off at work and getting paid for it huh Rob? I've done my share of that too!

Thanks for that movie title anonymous! I'll definitely look for it!

I've already got 2 angry e mails from Angelina fans! Oh lighten up you dingbats! LOL Didn't I say I actually liked Angelina baby? Get a freaking life...but thanks for the mail anyway!

fred said...

If you ask me, Wednesday is a perfectly good day for ritualistic masturbation. Actually Wednesday is good for ordinary masturbation too.

I’ve posted Angelina Jolie at pic of the day. This is a shameless attempt to increase readership.

fred said...

Check out . I think we might have the beginnings of a movement here!

Camilla said...

I consider Ms. Jolie a cross-over type. Men and women both find her utterly attractive.