Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ten Year Boner...Wet Dream or Nightmare?


Click on the above image to make text larger so you can read the "hard facts" of this story!


This story is all over the cable TV news networks and is making it's way around the world via the web. Hey isn't that every guy's dream? A permanent hard on, a 24/7 boner, always ready for action, more staying power than Superman! Sounds pretty cool to me! I could save a lot of money on Viagra too! I guess it could be embarrassing at times though, especially around family and friends. It seems like tight shorts would pretty much conceal the woody in public and in family situations though, at least make it far less obvious. I mean all of us guys get boners when we really don't want them and unless we are naked nobody usually notices. Unless you are wearing no shorts and very loose pants, boners generally don't stick out like flagpoles you know. A little extra bulge? Big fucking deal, they think you are hung!


Come to think of it, between puberty and my early twenties I pretty much had a 24/7 boner myself! Those boners sure felt good and gave me lots of pleasure too! However if sexual arousal didn't always accompany the stiffy, I suppose it could be inconvenient, uncomfortable and maybe even painful at times. In reality a 24/7 boner may not be all it's cracked up to be. I wouldn't mind trying one for a while though! If the gizmo isn't working like it's it's supposed to (you can turn your boner on and off?), a lawsuit and a monetary award may be in order. $400,000 doesn't sound too excessive since his lawyer will probably take nearly half of that. The dude may also become quite a local and national celebrity. I'm sure that he's already been contacted by Jerry Springer, Ophra, Larry King and especially Nancy Grace...who will probably want to examine the "evidence"! He'll probably hear from more than a few lonely old ladies who will want to meet him for obvious reasons!



Speaking of boners, I've got a stiffy this morning! ("What else is new?" you ask!) I go in to my urologist's office today for my second post vasectomy masturbation in a bottle to make sure that there are no spermy thingies in my semen. Jacking off in a bottle is absolutely the most fun you can have in a doctor's office so of course I am looking forward to it, especially after the mandated no ejaculations for four to five days before the test. Even at my advanced age, four days is about as long as I can go without some sort of sexual release. Marcella is usually only available on weekends so jacking off has to get me through her work week.


I'm going to ask the nurse about some porn today. Last month I was surprised to find that there was no porn at all in that little jack off room, not that I really needed any. I just fantasized about having a threesome with the nurse and receptionist who I could hear talking to each other in the next room. It takes very little to get me "in the mood" to beat my meat as you probably all know by now. However there is probably an outrageous charge to my medical plan for my few minutes of self induced pleasure so I might as well ask for some complimentary visual stimulation so they get their money's worth. It's like when you fly you might as well take the little bag of peanuts (which is about all you get nowadays!) If they don't have any porn I may sue them or at least ask the nurse to come in and give me "a helping hand" if you know what I mean and I think you do! There is a fat chance that she would comply with that request of course and I'm too much of a gentleman (really!) to ask anyway! Nah with or without porn, I will have no problem in "taking care of business!" As a matter of fact I feel like doing just that right now! Control yourself Mike! Relief is just a few hours away dude!


Marcella is coming over on Friday night so I'll hopefully then get the kind of sexual release that I really need right now (can you say "blow job"?) Unfortunately she's not staying overnight and will be going to the Bay Area to visit her parents for the weekend. Bummer but it won't be the first weekend that I've been alone with just my dick and my right hand and I'm sure it won't be the last. By now I've become an expert at that and it ain't so bad. Lots of football, lots of pizza and lots of beer between all the jerking off! Life is good! Hopefully it's good for you too, my faithful readers (both of you!) Enjoy the weekend and I'll see you here with more incoherent babbling early next week!


UPDATE: I'm back from the urologist's office (and a wonderful experience it was, thank you very much!) I didn't even have to ask for the porn. The nurse asked me if I wanted "some magazines" right before I went in the whack off room. Hoping the magazines wouldn't be those damn outdated copies of Time and Sports Illustrated from the waiting room I answered yes. She came back with a cardboard box which turned out to have several copies of last year's Playboy, Penthouse and other men's magazines inside. No real hardcore porn at all though, damn the bad luck!


Well I thumbed through the dog eared copies until I found a centerfold (a redhead!) I liked, whipped out the old dong which was already standing at attention and went right to work. The only trouble is that you are advised to lie on the cot, the better to aim your dong into the bottle, and when you are getting close to ejaculating you have to hold your dick with one hand and the bottle with the other hand so the magazine has to go by the wayside right before you get to the good part of your experience. Not quite as enjoyable as jacking off to porn on your computer! If only the nurse would come in and hold the magazine (or something!) for you! Oh well, mission accomplished...but I think I actually enjoyed last month's threesome fantasy better than the magazines! I guess the nurse just forgot to ask if I wanted the magazines last month...or else she noticed the bulge in my pants and figured I didn't need them! One more jism check at the end of October and assuming the sperm count is zero I can start I can start riding Marcella bareback. Whoopee ti-yi-yo! Bye Bye for now!

6 comments:

Rap said...

Here in Canada there is a big controvercy raging over private vs public health care.

Should some procedures be allowed in private clinics at the patients expense? Some say yes, some say no.

Would having a pretty young nurse "assist" with the post ejaculatory experience be covered by health care or would her undivided attentions be a benefit afforded to the more well heeled patients with better coverage?

I will have to write my Member of Parliament and ask.

Anonymous said...

Marcella is such a lucky girl! Hmm bareback...I'm so jealous...I love your blog!

Anonymous said...

Bi Guy - Well old guy, I am happy you got a mag this time around. I think the nurse should just cum in for a few minutes and do the Sharon Stone move on a chair, and maybe rub her tits at the same time. Damn its not like she would have to touch you..lol. Oh and by the way I got to suck a hot cock yesterday. A big deal for me, as it was my first in 3 months. Oh god it was yummy, I sucked him like it was a babies bottle..lol. I know you just wanted to hear that. Have a great wknd old guy..Your Bi commentator..

Horny Old Guy said...

Wow, quite a controversy eh Rap? Your socialized medicine up there is apparently as confusing as the HMO mess we have down here in Bushland! I vote YES on nurse assistance for semen sampling procedures though, regardless of medical plans!

Anonymous #1 darlin' thanks for those kind words!

Glad you are having "fun" up there in the frozen north Bi Guy Rob! As I've said before, it's "different strokes (and I do mean STROKES) for different folks!" If that's your thing, go for it dude! Cheers!

anu said...

Hello Mike,

I loved this post and also your entry on the nude beaches...actually made me leak, thinking of your boner seeing the stunning daughter

Many hugs n kisses

Horny Old Guy said...

Ah the thought of a wet Anu! Now THAT is the stuff that boners are made of! Thanks for stopping by Sweet Anu! Hugs and kisses back darlin'!