Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I received an anonymous comment about my last "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" implying that this feature was demeaning to women. I thought about it but I really don't think that's the case. I suspect the anonymous comment was from a woman who just doesn't understand that jacking off to movie stars and other celebrities is just something that most of us guys (yeah even old farts like me!) do, and have done in fact since the earliest days of movies.
It's not only servicemen that jack off to movie stars of course. It's just something that us guys do! Hey we like The Three Stooges, we like football, we like beer and we like to jack off to movie stars! For me it all started in the 1950's, the decade in which I hit puberty and went through my teen years. The aforementioned Marilyn, Kim and Brigette were my favorite jack off fantasies then too, just as they were for many other horny boys and men of all ages during that era. We had lots of other sexy babes to fantasize about too...Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobrigida, Jayne Mansfield, Mamie Van Doren, Anita Ekberg, Debra Paget, Terry Moore, etc. Even before puberty he thought or sight of any one of them was enough to make my young pecker stand at attention and make me want to find a a place to jack it off ASAP! Extra points if even a little bit of cleavage was shown! I remember one time just the preview (trailer) for a movie called "Zarak" showed some major league Anita Ekberg cleavage and I had a hard on for a month! I couldn't stop jacking off that brief image of Anita's big titties!
Marilyn Monroe was definitely THE sex queen of the 1950's though and her famous nude calender pretty much shows you why. What a babe! Her movies like "The Seven Year Itch" were sexy but unfortunately the movie standards of the time didn't permit her to show any more than a little cleavage. Not even bare tits or ass shots were allowed in films at that time, damn the bad luck! Just gazing on that face and that figure or a little cleavage was all that we needed though. I've written about how I used to whip my dick out and jack it off in the last row of the stadium balcony of Napa's old Uptown Theater, assuming there was nobody around me of course.
Kim Novak aroused me even more than Marilyn. I was fucking Kim in my mind and jacking off for months after I saw "Picnic" wishing the "Madge" character in that film was my girlfriend. Again no bare flesh on the screen with Kim but that beautiful face and sexy body drove me and lots of other guys wild with lust. I believe Kim actually posed nude for Playboy later on and you can bet there was even more whacking off to those shots. Even today, thoughts of Kim Novak give me a hard on, and they are doing just that right now!
Towards the end of the 1950's French "sex kitten" Brigette Bardot came onto the scene and that really caused us guys to whip it out and jack it off. Me and a buddy tried to sneak into a drive in movie on foot to see Brigette's first big imported "for adults only" hit "And God Created Woman" to see what all the fuss was about. Unfortunately the manager caught us, threw us out and called our parents who were not amused. As soon as I was 18 I went to an indoor theater to see that movie and was sort of disappointed that there wasn't more of a naked Brigette on view. From all the hoopla, I expected full frontal nudity and on screen fucking. You saw Brigette in a wet bathing suit and a shot of her laying on the ground nude (above), but as I recall not much more than that. No real tits or ass and I guess even in France pubic hair was still a taboo back then. A sexy movie regardless and just looking at a clothed Brigette was enough to get your dick a-throbbing. I probably jacked off in the theater during that one too!
Yeah that's just what us guys do Ms. (or Mr.) Anonymous! We jack off to fantasies of movie stars and celebrities and that's what we've been doing for the last one hundred years. Before that it was the French postcards I suppose. We need inspiration for our favorite solo sex activity you see and movie stars frequently provide that inspiration. Movie stars aren't the only inspiration you understand...we also jack off to fantasies about girls next door, girls at school, girlfriends and wives, women behind the counter at the supermarket and at McDonald's, nurses, teachers and co-workers, women we see on our computers and on the TV screen and on the street, women we meet on line, women who comment on our blogs...oh the list goes on and on! I've even heard that some dirty old men jack off to fantasies about their girlfriend's roommates as shocking as that may seem. I would suspect that almost all women have had someone jack off over them at one time or another in their lives. If not, I would sort of feel sorry for them. I mean it would probably indicate a total lack of charm and sex appeal, not an attractive or desirable feature for either sex in my most humble opinion!
As I mentioned in my response comment to Anonymous, I would also imagine that women also fantasize about celebrities while masturbating. Are you going to tell me that women don't fantasize about Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt or Robert Redford or whoever while using their Hitachi Magic Wands or fingers on their privates and even sometimes when their husband old Joe Sixpack is on top of them or doing some muff diving between their legs? I would strongly suspect there is quite a bit of fantasy combined with sex for both sexes. If not, there should be! As I've said many times before, your fantasies can set you free!
Anyway that is my long winded response to try to explain why I don't think my "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month" is demeaning to women. To anyone who feels otherwise, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. I apologize if it does offend you. This feature will however continue and I'll be back on Friday with my celebrity for December and yeah I know you can hardly wait! See you then!!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Oh it's really not a Blue Monday...just sort of a dreary, rainy one here in Stockton town and I was desperate for a blog post title. It is however another Monday morning after a long holiday weekend and I hope everyone had a good one. My Thanksgiving in Sacramento was fine. It was great to see my old friends and you'll be relieved to know that I was on my best behavior all day, even after several cocktails and several glasses of wine with dinner. I didn't slip up and mention jacking off or blow jobs or pussy eating once all day! No jokes about Grandpa fucking the turkey either! One of my friends brought his quite lovely grown daughter, in her mid thirties I think, who I wouldn't mind slipping the salami to but I kept my lustful thoughts to myself as I always do in similar situations. I really can be a gentleman when I need to be you know! It's really only on this blog where I let it all hang out (in more ways than one!)
As I mentioned in my last post, Marcella went to the Bay Area to spend the holiday and the weekend with her parents which once again meant no nookie for Mikey. No big deal, I've been there many times before and as usual my right hand got me through the long weekend. I was hoping Marcella would get home early enough Sunday night to come over and give me a mercy fuck or blow job but no such luck. She got stuck in a horrific traffic jam last night. We had the first rain in a while and rain (or fog) causes California drivers to speed up and drive even more crazy than they usually do. You can imagine the results on those rain slicked roads. Marcy made it home safe which is the important thing but not until almost 11 o'clock. No way was she going to come over here and suck my weenie and I can't say that I blame her!
I'm going over to Marcella and Patty's place tonight for a leftovers meal (Yuck!) Maybe I will "get lucky" then although Marcella seems hesitant to do the nasty in her own bedroom with Patty in the house. We haven't fucked one time over there so far. It would sort of add to the erotic thrill for me with Patty in the next room, maybe even with her ear to the wall! Oh well, maybe I can get Marcy to come out to my car and give me a quickie blow job in the apartment parking lot. If not, I guess it's wait for nookie until next weekend (sigh).
After I talked to Marcella on the phone late last night, there was nothing to do but go to bed and jack off which is just what I did. I had an extra nice jack off fantasy about a certain curvy dark haired young lady who reads this blog. We were in Las Vegas and this gal just loved to have her clit sucked, something I consider myself an expert at. She returned the favor with a nice juicy Texas style blow job. Ah if real life could only be like some of our fantasies! On the other hand, if you limit yourself to fantasies at certain times in your life (like with Patty or my other sweet fantasy friend here) you can keep yourself out of LOTS of trouble. I speak from experience there my friends!
Y'all have a good week. I'll be back later on in the week to babble on some more. As always, many thanks for reading this nonsense. Bye bye for now!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Well there have been lots of changes in my life since last Thanksgiving folks! Last year at this time I was looking forward to another long holiday weekend of being bored and playing with my dick. Now Marcella has entered my life of course and so I'm looking forward to...another long holiday weekend of being bored and playing with my dick! Hmmmm...me thinks something is wrong here but I'm not sure what!
It's the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving as I write this and Marcella just left for the Bay Area to spend the holiday and the weekend with her parents. Thanksgiving is a time to spend with families so I certainly don't resent that. My only close relatives left are my sister Karen who lives in Colorado with her family and my daughter Jennie who lives in Oregon with her boyfriend. So it's no family gathering for old Mikey...and that's okay too. Those family gatherings can get pretty hectic at times, especially after Grandpa Louie has polished off that bottle of Jack Daniels and starts fucking the turkey! No thanks to family gatherings, I think I'll just go down to McDonald's and get me a Double McTurkey Burger and a supersized order of fries!
Actually I'm going to a good friend's house in Sacramento for Thanksgiving dinner. We worked together for many years on an Air Force base and he's quite a character. Another good friend and former co-worker of us both will also be there so there should be plenty of bullshit to go around. Both of these guys are married so their wives and maybe some grown kids and younger grandkids will be there. My host says he expects a dozen people at the most...and I can handle that! I just have to tone down my "horny old guy" persona and keep it G or PG rated...no ogling the babes for a day either...now that part may be a little more difficult, but I can handle that too...I think!
Then it's back to good old Stockton town for the rest of the weekend. No big plans. No way I that would venture out in that shopping insanity called "Black Friday". Maybe I'll just rent some porn and have a three day masturbation marathon. Nah that is too much like ALL of my weekends before I met Marcella. I wonder what Marcella's cutie pie roommate Patty will be doing? Her family is right here in Stockton so I'm sure she will be spending Thanksgiving day with them but what about the rest of the weekend? Hmmmmm...now Patty is something I would really like to "stuff" for Thanksgiving or any other day of the year if you know what I mean and I think you do! Oh behave yourself Mike! In truth Patty will be only in my jack off fantasies this weekend and every weekend because I really am a one woman man and a gentleman, believe it or not! No trying to "slip the salami" to any other babes, especially to Marcella's lovely roommate Patty (sigh)...but oh for just one taste of her sweet young...MIKE! BEHAVE!
You know I wondered if I might be able to get through just one post without getting nasty and I think I've just answered that question with a big fat NO! I've already sprung a boner thinking about Patty so I better just stop now before I get too XXX rated. Let me wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and nice weekend. Hopefully you'll be having lots more sex with a partner than I will but if not feel free to join me in the solo sex festivities! Coupled with masturbation, your fantasies can truly set you free! See you next week!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Oh I may be getting too old for these weekend fuck-a-thons with Marcella! By the time she went home Sunday night, I was almost starting to think about something besides sex, not a good sign for me...or this blog! It was a lovely weekend though. Marcella came over on Friday night and stayed through the whole weekend. She was out of town last weekend so there was lots of sex to catch up on for both of us. Lots of pussy eating, lots of cock sucking and lots of fucking and once again I say "Thank you Jesus for Viagra!" I didn't need that little blue pill on Friday night but it was good insurance that "Junior" would keep standing at attention by Sunday afternoon!
Marcella didn't even make it to church on Sunday. It was almost noon before she woke up and gave me my ritual Sunday morning full cum-in-mouth blow job, as usual the high point of the weekend for me! We were fucking and sucking and talking until almost 3:00 AM on Saturday night. We got serious for a while too and I asked her if she wants to move in with me. She told me no and I was sort of disappointed and yet sort of relieved at the same time. It would be nice to have her here all of the time, for the companionship as well as the more frequent sex...and yet I really enjoy my solitude during the week too. I've really gotten used to living alone and liking it...just me and my computer and my fantasies and my dick! Who could ask for anything more? Well...at least until Anne Hathaway or another one of my Celebrity Jack Off Fantasies of the Month offers to pay me a visit and stay for a while! What are you laughing at?
Of course just knowing that Marcella is (usually) coming over for the weekends makes my weekdays much more bearable and enjoyable than they were before Marcy entered my life. Nothing like the thought of some hot poontang and a Sunday morning blow job to make your weekends something to REALLY look forward to. In a way I have the best of both worlds. We see each other a couple of times during the week (but usually without sex) and e mail each other and talk on the phone ...and the present situation seems to be working out well for both of us. By the way Marcella's reasons she gave for not wanting to move in with me were that her parents would not approve and her roommate Patty needs her to share the rent. Ah the thought of the sexy Patty...that's enough to make my pecker to come to life again this morning! Control yourself Mike!
Anyway, I think Marcella and I are both on the same page...and that's good! If she was starting to throw around the "m" word (marriage) I would be worried right now! I think we both realize that this is a casual relationship that will probably end someday, for instance if she ever discovers this fucking blog!. That day (the end of our relationship) may be a few months from now or a few years from now but until then we'll just enjoy the relationship and each other day for day and week by week. For a horny 66 year old guy like myself things could be worse...and will probably get so! For now life is good...and I hope it is for you too, whoever and wherever you are out there in cyberspace! Have a great Thanksgiving week!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
As I mentioned in my last post, as soon as the camera was invented (somewhere around the mid 1800's as I recall) people started taking pictures of each other in the nude and engaged in sex. No surprise there since nudity and sex have been part of art, in painting and sculpture and even cave drawings, since the beginning of time. I've sprung many a boner in art museums and have even jacked off in a restroom at the Louvre in Paris but that's a whole different story and one I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear about! People just like to look at naked people and people doing the nasty! It's as simple as that!
These hardcore photographs are from roughly 1900 to 1920. I'm sure that they were sold on the underground market only as they were strictly illegal in most of the world as was all pornography until the late 1960's. I never saw any of them while growing up, not until some books on erotic art and photography were published in the 1970's in fact.
You see cock sucking and pussy eating and fucking in these photographs, all of the things that make life worth living for most of us. Frankly I find most of these pictures more interesting than erotic. The pictures of the naked babes in my last post did more for me and my dick than these things do. I would imagine our grandfathers and great grandfathers who were lucky enough to have access to these things found them extremely hot though and spent as much time jacking off to them as us modern dudes do to computer or video porn. They certainly have some value today as artifacts in the history of photography, pornography and sexual mores from an era long, long ago. If nothing else, it's positive proof that the blow job wasn't invented along with television and rock and roll in the mid twentieth century!
Enough nostalgia for one week! I have been horny as hell all week ("What else is new?" you ask!) Three jack off sessions since Sunday afternoon haven't dampened my senior citizen lust! Marcella was out of town last weekend but she'll be with me this weekend. Her dad who is recovering from a serious operation is doing much better so hopefully there will be fewer weekend trips to the Bay Area and more weekend nookie for Mikey. It's a bummer when you are finally cleared to do bareback fucking after a vasectomy and haven't got anyone to do it with! Oh well, the weekend is approaching...and I hope you all have as good and sex filled one as I expect to! As always, thanks for reading this trash!
P.S. Will somebody 100 years from now stumble on this lame blog and find the incoherent rambling and sometimes blatant exhibitionism of yours truly the Horny Old Guy (seen below doing what he does best!) having any any redeeming value or interest at all? I hope so but frankly I sort of doubt it! See ya' next time!
Monday, November 13, 2006
While surfing through flickr (www.flickr.com) looking for some visual inspiration for jacking off last night I came across a large set of "French Postcards" that someone had recently scanned and posted. Pictures similar to these go back to the beginnings of photography in the mid to latter part of the nineteenth century. As soon as cameras were invented, people apparently started taking off their clothes and taking pictures of each other in the nude and having sex. Good for them! This particular set is circa 1920 and I found most of the pictures very erotic and interesting, many of them even extremely artistic in nature. I thought I would post a few of them here. Click on any image to enlarge it.
I really like the look of the women in the photographs. I don't know if they are amateurs or professional models or even prostitutes but they all look natural...and happy...and NICE! I much prefer their look to that of the harsh looking, overly made up, pierced, tattooed and shaved bimbos you see in so much of modern day porn. It makes me want to step back in time to their era and fuck them all! I'm probably in a minority of course and few young modern day jerkers would even give these pictures a second glance...but I like them and yeah I'll admit it...I jacked off while looking at them! I finally feel that me and my old grandfather, long deceased, had something in common!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
A friend loaned me a DVD he bought while in Europe. It's actually an American film called "Ken Park" but it hasn't been released here in theaters or on video at all as far as I know. I did a little research and it seems that the sex scenes are considered too hot for American audiences. Extreme violence in movies like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Saw" are just fine you understand but God help us if we show somebody fucking, sucking cock or eating pussy! (Are we a sick society or what?) This film deals with a group of high school students and even though all of the actors, male and female, are on record as being of legal age (18+), that also adds to the controversy. Everybody knows that high school students aren't engaging in sex, right?
How hot is it? Well one of the first scenes shows a dude performing cunnilingus on his girlfriend's mother! I might add this mom is the ultimate MILF (Mother I'd Like to Fuck!). I don't blame the dude! I'd eat her out too! It's hard to tell if this guy is really "yodeling in the canyon"or it's simulated but he's got his face buried between her legs and it gave me a big boner and I wished I was him. Later on in bed with his girlfriend's mom she puts her hand down his shorts and gives him a "helping hand" by rubbing his dick. Some guys have all the luck!
Later another dude is in bed with his girlfriend, tied up by her (kinky!) and ready to do the nasty with her when the girl's daddy (a religious fanatic) walks in on them. Note the dude's boner in the picture below which will soon be shrinking fast. Daddy is not amused and starts beating him up in fact. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! Bummer dude!
Then in another shocking scene a real asshole ties a sash around his neck, for a bigger thrill I guess, and jacks off, which is explicitly shown all the way to ejaculation. How often do you see that in a non-porno film?
The movie concludes with a threesome (two guys and one gal) and the babe (pictured at left) is one that any of us red blooded guys of any age would just LOVE to have a threesome or better yet a twosome with! Oh yeah we would! There is no actual penetration shown but it comes pretty close with boners and some nice oral sex shots. A very sexy sequence which finally brought me some sexual relief too, if you know what I mean and I think you do!
The sex scenes were very erotic BUT they were unfortunately balanced by some extremely brutal scenes that for me were very hard to watch. A kid shoots himself in the head in the first scene of the movie. Later the kid who jacked off brutally kills his grandparents for no apparent reason. Lots more ugliness and violence throughout the film. As much as I enjoyed the sex scenes, it's a movie I'd never want to see again. Every time I would get a stiff dick from the sex, I'd lose it again because of the subsequent brutality. It was difficult to maintain my boner even long enough to jack off...so I guess you can consider it a "thumbs down" from me...but at least I give the director credit for showing some real sex on film for rather than the silly tits and ass, masturbation joke stuff we usually get in American films. The Europeans aren't so hung up on sex as us and you sometimes see the real thing there, although oddly enough the sex there is also frequently combined with violence.
Why can't we just have the sex without the violence? That brings to mind another very sexy Japanese film called "In the Realm of the Senses" (still frames above) from several years ago. Lots of nice hardcore sex...fucking, a complete cum in mouth blow job, etc...and then it ends with the gal cutting the guy's dong off, simulated of course but graphically shown on screen. Ewwwwwwwwww! I don't think I ever lost an erection so fast in my life! It seems like if you do see sex in movies (think Michael Douglas eating out Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct" or Sharon displaying her beaver in that chair!) it always has to be combined with extreme violence. I think for most of us sex has nothing to do with violence...it's just the total opposite in fact. I just don't get why the movies almost always combine the two. Maybe it's just to discourage old farts like myself from jacking off at the movies!
As I ponder that subject some more, let me go get another cup of coffee. Marcella is going to the Bay Area to see her parents again this weekend (Bummer!) but she's coming over Friday night for another round of bareback fucking (Hallelujah!). I guess my right hand will have to get me through the rest of the weekend but it's done just that on many a weekend throughout my life so no big deal there. Enjoy the weekend y'all. The balcony is now closed!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Well the day I was waiting for finally arrived! No more fucking condoms which of course means no more fucking with condoms! My urologist personally called on Friday to give me the green light for bareback fucking. My third semen check after my vasectomy was negative for sperm presence so the doc says "Ride 'em Cowboy!" (as long as I'm in a monogamous relationship with Marcy!) from now on. Whoopee-ti-yi yo! Get a-long Old Mikey! I jokingly told the doc if I ever become a daddy I am going to sue him for everything he owns, a comment he didn't find all that amusing for some reason. Those damn doctors have no sense of humor! Thank God I don't have to go back to him for the old finger up the pooper thing I get from my regular doctor during my annual physical. After my comment to him, this doc could make that procedure mighty unpleasant I bet! Just kidding doc...you did a good job...I hope!
Well that good news arrived just in time for my scheduled weekend sexual activities. Marcella came over on Saturday and was just as ready for sex as I was. We had a nice bareback fuck-a-thon on Saturday night and a repeat performance on Sunday afternoon. All of that fucking (thank God for Viagra!) combined with Marcella's now ritual Sunday morning blow job left me feeling totally pussy whipped last night after she finally went back to her apartment. That's not a bad feeling for an old fart like me you understand! I'm definitely not complaining! It sure beats playing with my weenie which I'm sure you know by now that I've had lots of experience at on more solitary weekends than I can even remember!
I can't say that it's a major difference fucking without those condoms but it's just more fun and more convenient without them. We both just like it better, especially when I don't have to pull my cock out right away after I ejaculate. I started to throw my partially used up box of Trojans away but then started thinking...you never know what the future holds...I better keep them at least until that expiration date I guess! You never know when one of your "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasies of the Month" will pay you a visit! Uh huh!
If that wasn't enough excitement for the weekend, last night I had a dream about getting sucked off by Marcella's sweetie pie roommate Patty. No it wasn't a wet dream. After all of those ejaculations into Marcella I don't think I had enough jism left to trigger a wet dream and besides I've never had even one wet dream in my life. Too much jackin' off and too much fuckin' to make them necessary I suppose! Anyway in this dream me and Marcella and Patty were on a cruise ship sharing a cabin together. Marcella and Patty were having some sort of an argument and Marcella got mad and walked out and that's when Patty asked me if I wanted a blow job. You can guess my answer to that one! The dream went all the way through cumming in Patty's mouth and then I woke up with a hard on. I guess that's what a wet dream is without the ejaculation but like I say I've never had a real wet dream. Even erotic dreams like this are fairly rare for me. Ah if real life could only be more like (some of) our dreams! Hmmm...I wonder if Marcella and Patty would be interested in taking a cruise with me?
I couldn't get back to sleep for quite a while, kept thinking about that dream and Patty, imagining scenarios where I got the chance to slip the big salami to her or she did to me in real life what she did to me in the dream...sucked me off! Fat fucking chance you old fart! Besides this old fart is too much of a gentleman (what are you laughing at?) to even try to put the make on my girlfriend's roommate (or anyone else) as long as I am in a relationship with her. Patty will remain in my jack off fantasies and hopefully some more nasty dreams and that's going to be the extent of our sexual relationship (sigh). Of course if in real life Patty ever offered me a blow job...again fat fucking chance...but oh my God it would be hard to pass up! It would be like Bubba Clinton with Monica Lewinsky on her knees with her mouth open. A stiff prick truly has no conscience my friends!
I finally had to jack off (big surprise there eh?) before I could get back to sleep after that dream about Patty. You can guess who and what my jack off fantasy was all about. I woke up again a couple hours later feeling groggy and even more pussy whipped than I did last night. It was almost time to get up anyway so I decided to get up, take a pee and make some coffee...and here I am. I feel so sexually satisfied right now that I probably won't think about pussy for a long time...maybe not until almost noon today. Of course I may get some more inspiration for jacking off on my morning walk too. Between bareback fucking of Marcella and erotic dreams about Patty and ogling all the babes I see...life is good...and I hope it is for you too. Have a good week y'all!