Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry XXXmas!

As I said at the beginning of LAST YEAR'S Christmas post, "Well what did you expect from the Horny Old Guy, a Nativity scene?"  Christmas is indeed almost here again and Mike the Horny Old Guy wishes all of you a Merry Christmas. Most of us have some fond memories of past Christmases with family and friends and look forward to each new Christmas. I'm no exception and do enjoy the season but sort of breath a sigh of relief when it's over. I really don't like Christmas shopping at all...all those crowds on the roads and highways and in the stores...UGH! I've got all of my Christmas shopping done now so I can just relax on the weekend. No way will I go anywhere near the mall for the next two days!

Marcella is coming over on Saturday to spend the night (nookie time for Mikey!) and then we are going to open presents at her and Patty's apartment and go out for a champagne brunch on Sunday which is Christmas Eve of course. Hopefully there will be some mistletoe placed over Patty's luscious young butt. I know I'm planning on hanging some above my weenie! Marcella and I were really considering getting Patty a Hitachi Magic Wand vibe for Christmas but Marcella decided it was not a proper Christmas present for a Catholic girl and changed her mind at the last minute. We should have given it to her for her birthday last week I guess! Patty has probably got a vibe anyway although Marcella says she's never seen it. I'd like to stick my own personal "Magic Wand" in Patty if you know what I mean and I think you do! Oh behave Mike! It's Christmas time!

I am truly dreading Monday, Christmas day! Marcella's parents are coming over from the Bay Area to Marcella and Patty's apartment and then they all are going to Patty's parents' house here in Stockton for dinner. Of course I am invited too. Marcy has been wanting me to meet her mom and dad but I feel really uncomfortable about it. I've always felt uncomfortable meeting girlfriends' parents and hoped that those days were over for good. With me being 28 years older than Marcy and of a different race, this may be the parents meeting and Christmas dinner from Hell! Marcy has told her parents that she is dating an older Caucasian guy but she hasn't told them how much older I am! Frankly if my daughter Jennie who is now 40 brought home an 68 year old dude of any race, I'd probably be giving that lecherous old fart the evil eye too! Dads are dads and they are also guys and they always seem to suspect that you are slipping the big salami to their precious daughter. In my case that has usually been true and it's definitely true now! It's going to be deja vu all over again for Mikey...and this time even worse! Oh well, I'm brave and I'm going! It's either that or go down to McDonald's for some Turkey McNuggets...which come to think of it would be a lot less stressful!

If Marcella's old man hasn't shot me or chased me out of town, I'll be back on Tuesday with the scoop on my "Meet the Folkers"..I mean "Meet the Filipinos" experience although I have a feeling this will make that Folkers movie look like a love fest among the Nelson family (Ozzie and Harriet!) Your prayers for Monday will be sincerely appreciated. I wish you all a wonderful holiday weekend. As always thanks for reading this nonsense! Merry Christmas!


cynthia said...

the mistletoe is hanging over my ***** just waitin fer santa or mikey hehe :) merry christmas hon

hugs from cyn

Al Sensu said...

Hey, you're doing the right thing by going to the parents. Yes, you're not married. But it's the least you can do for her in exchange for all that great sex. If it doesn't turn out well, she probably won't encourage future visits. And who knows, maybe it will be OK. Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Mike thanks for all the laughs and erections in the last year! Happy and Horny new year to you!
Don (another horny old guy)

Steff said...

Good luck with the parents...I can't wait to hear this story!

Merry Christmas!

Mike Stewart said...

Thanks to all for those comments and good wishes! Same to you all says Mikey, still thinking about the mistletoe over Cynthia's ***** LOL