Thursday, January 18, 2007

Those Wacky Weenie Wavers!

Well my daughter Jennie and her boyfriend have left to continue their trip to Southern California so it's back to normal for the Horny Old Guy. I can walk around in the nude, fart, look at porno on the TV and my computer and jack off to my heart's content without guilt or fear of being caught in the act. It was great to see Jennie but it's also great to have my solitude again. I am really just not into entertaining house guests although I might make an exception if Marcella's roommate Patty wants to stay for a while (fat fucking chance!) My "Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy" babes of the month are also always welcome at my door!

Jennie and her boyfriend Bill and I took a trip to San Francisco on Tuesday where the low point came when some perv waved his weenie at our tour boat while we were coming back from Alcatraz. He was standing behind a building on the wharf, his dong exposed and standing at attention and as the boat approached the dock he started jacking it off. Lots of shock and laughter and catcalls from people on the deck of the boat. As we got really close to the dock he zipped it up and made a hasty departure from the scene, probably a good move because I noticed several unamused tourists on their cell phones. At least those tourists from Iowa will have something to shock their friends about! San Francisco living up to it's scandalous reputation! A few kids on deck probably got more of a sex education that their parents desired too...although in this age of the internet was this really something they hadn't already seen on line?

I doubt that this was the first time this dude waved his weenie at boats (or anything else) in the city and I suspect he got away with it this time and many times before. San Francisco is a very tolerant and somewhat wacky city. It's just a couple of hours away from Stockton and yet a world away. I've seen just about everything else on the streets (including fucking!) there so it really didn't shock me. A few months ago I posted the picture below so you can see what the police apparently look the other way at. Note that hardly anyone around this nut case seems to be paying any attention to his public nudity and wanking. Only in San Francisco! The gay culture and liberal city politics have a lot to do with it I suppose.

Not that we don't have any weenie wavers at all in Stockton you understand. Some misguided fellow was regularly exposing the family jewels in the parking lot at a K Mart near me a few months ago. Daren the manager of the store who is a friend of mine was telling me all about it. The weenie waver was in his car, had his pants down and was exposing his erect pecker to all the ladies, young and old, who wandered by. Apparently he got away with it for several months without some outraged spectator calling the police or at least turning him into store security. A boyfriend or husband of a woman who witnessed his X rated performance eventually scared him straight by threatening to beat the shit out of him and took down his car license number which he turned into Darren. Darren turned the license number into the cops and as far as I know that was the end of the notorious K Mart Weenie Waver of Stockton. There are indeed regular reports about male exhibitionists in the local paper, many of them near schools, and they seem to be on the increase. There seems to be an epidemic of weenie waving nowadays in cities big and small!

I really don't understand those weenie wavers. Oh yeah I let it all hang out here from time to time but this site is clearly marked "For Adults Only" and no one has to be here if they don't want to. I would never dream of whipping my dong out in public and shocking and/or offending anyone. It's partly because weenie waving is such a crude and rude and uncivil act and partly because I really don't want to end up in jail with my name in the papers and a big black dick up my pooper! Nah there is a time to whip and out and a time to keep it zipped and in public is the time for the least in my most humble and ancient opinion! You want to expose your privates? Get a webcam or a blog dude! Women however are invited to flash me at any time in any place...please!!!

I do have to confess that as an early teen me and my buddy did a bit of weenie waving which I wrote about HERE a while back. We found a spot down by the Napa River where a highway ran overhead. Just peeing while the cars zipped by seemed like a cheap thrill and that led to some showing our boners and then jacking off while we watched the shocked reaction from the faces (usually women) on the passenger sides of the cars overhead. We got scared straight when we looked up to see a Highway Patrol car cruising slowly by with a Highway Patrolman peering out. You never saw two guys lose their boners, jump on their bikes and ride so fast in your life! That was over fifty years ago and that was the end of my weenie waving days forever. Yeah it was wrong but when you are young you do some stupid things! I guess it was better than burning down

Jennie and Bill were amused at the whole incident with the weenie waver. I told them "I bet you don't see things like that in Oregon!" and Jennie said "Oh I'm a nurse and I've seen stranger things than that dad!" I thought about some of the boners I've sprung in front of nurses and fantasies that I've had about them and decided I just better not pursue the matter any further. I sort of suspect there are some patient boners and jacking off involved though, hopefully no blow jobs from nurses like you see in the cartoons! There are some of your children's activities (at any age!) that you just don't even want to think about! Jennie is a smart gal anyway and I'm sure that she can handle any situation involving horny patients with humor and firmness and ease.'s back to uncensored blogging and jerking off! Jennie didn't get a chance to meet Marcella which as I said in my last post is probably just as well. Maybe next time! For now I'm eagerly awaiting the weekend when I will see Marcy again. No nookie for Mikey for two weeks is not a good thing! I need some pussy!! Hopefully I will make up for lost time this weekend! For a chuckle to finish off this post...if I ever decide to wave my weenie at anybody in public (which I won't!) I would certainly hope that I wouldn't get the reaction below! LOL Keep it zipped folks (in public anyway!) and have a good weekend!


Anonymous said...

Hi Mike, that was a great post. I will admit to showing my cock, but only in that washroom where lots of bi guy go, and only to those guys who want to look or watch me masturbate..its a Bi But one must be careful where we pull it out..You have a great weekend Mike, and I hope you get alot of eating and fucking this weedend, as well as your church bj..Bi Rob

cynthia said...

mikey u can wave your weenie at me anytime hehe u too birob :) I luv weenie waver dudes :) cyn *********************

Steff said...

I've seen my fair share of dicks, but I have to say that I think I'd be a little flustered to see one being waved at me in a public place.

Have a great weekend!

Mike Stewart said...

I can't see anything wrong with what you are doing in that washroom Bi Rob...but just make sure you don't wave your weenie at any Northwest Mounted Police up there in the Frozen North...unless maybe you can find a gay or bi Mountie to mount! LOL

Cyn darlin if we ever get together I will probably do more than just wave my weenie at you...just don't tell Marcella, okay?

I can understand your flusterization (is that a word?) Steff darlin'! I promise never to wave my weenie at public!

Thanks and hope you all had a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

I got off a subway in Manhattan a few years ago and as I walked along the platform towards the exit, I saw a guy with his trousers pulled down and his front pressed against a window of a car, right in the face of a woman who was seated there. She looked repulsed and had her eyes covered.

Ha! A woman in front of me was carrying a brief case. Without a wocd, she hauled off and hit the creep in the back of the head and walked on. He was so staggered that he lost hold of his pants, which went all the way to his knees. I was tempted to give him a good swift kick in the balls, but I hurried on out of the station.

As is true of most women, I love the sight of a good dick -- but only in the proper place, and not wagged at me by a stranger.

Mike, gals in our office get a kick out of your web site. A dirty old man who is honest about being just that!


Mike Stewart said...

That was a just and proper reaction to that weenie waving creep Judith! I have no sympathy for those guys! Yeah as an early teen me and a buddy briefly played that silly game but we were young and stupid and I now regret what we did.

I'm delighted to hear that the gals in your office get a kick out of my nonsense Judith! I hope I haven't offended anyone. If I have, feel free to kick me in the cyber nuts! Cheers to you all!