Thursday, February 08, 2007

Fatal Attraction From Outer Space!

After my last post entitled "A Stiff Dick Has No Conscience!", I was tempted to call this one "A Wet Pussy Has No Conscience!" but being the refined gentleman that I am I resisted that temptation. Another old saying "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned!" might be more appropriate and is certainly in better taste. I have to admit that this story does fascinate me! Of course I'm talking about the strange case of Astronaut Lisa Nowak who, in a fit of jealousy or insanity, drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando to confront Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman who she thought was doing the nasty with Bill Oefelein, another Astronaut who she herself apparently had a big crush on. Lisa wore adult diapers on her little escapade so she wouldn't have to stop to take a pee along the way (!) and brought along with her a knife, a mallet, some rubber tubing, a loaded BB gun and some pepper spray (what no foot long dildo?). She was wearing a wig and a disguise and registered at a hotel in Orlando under a phony name.

Ms. Nowak confronted Captain Shipman in the airport parking lot, tried to get into her car and finally sprayed pepper spray through the window. Fortunately the Captain was able to drive off and call the police and the love struck dingbat from outer space was arrested. Her lawyer says she only wanted to TALK to the Captain. Yeah right! O.J. is innocent too! What the hell would cause a lovely, supposedly extremely intelligent Astronaut, part of "the cream of the crop" of Air Force pilots, who recently was part of a space mission (now there's a scary thought!) turn into a love struck raging maniac? All I can think of is that that Bill Oefelein dude must have a very big dick or really know how to eat pussy! Remind me never to get involved with that babe (like she would be knocking on my door huh?). A very strange story and one I'm sure that the NASA honchos would like to just go away! Me thinks we will be hearing about it for quite a while though! Ms. Nowak is free on bail which is another scary thought! Lisa darlin' if I've said anything at all to offend you, please don't start driving out towards Stockton!

On the same day in our local paper I read about another woman scorned right in our own back yard, just down the valley from Stockton. It seems that this 50 year old gal named Angela pictured at left (WHOA Dude! I don't think she'll be in any of my wet dreams or jack off fantasies anytime soon!) not only hired a guy to kill her ex hubby but also put a put a soft drink can full of wasps in his pickup truck. Hubby is allergic to wasps and barely escaped being stung to death after he turned his heater on and the wasps attacked! The hit man spilled the beans and Angela is now in jail waiting trial on attempted murder charges. I guess that will teach the old man not to call the old lady ugly...or maybe Angela just wasn't getting the orgasms she thought she deserved!

After reading about these two wackos I feel fortunate to have my Marcella, an easy going, sane woman for a girlfriend. Of course if she ever finds out about this blog or my lust for her roommate Patty, that could all change in a flash! I better just be on my best behavior from now on! Marcy darlin' if you ever find this blog, please forgive me or at least will you please hold the wasps when you come after me? Thank you baby! Thank you all for reading this silly blog! Enjoy the weekend!


Anonymous said...

Mike this old world is never short of nutcases ah? And some even are so called very well educated,,ha. We have our share up here in the great white north I was too bad about your hot sexy Anna Nicole down there. Although I have to say she don't hold a candle to our Canuck Big titty Pam Anderson. I have jerked off to her a few times,,I think Pam needs to made one of your monthly jerk off ladies section. Have a great wknd Mike,,Bi Rob

Dee's Husband Joe said...

Gosh, I love your sardonic style! Remind me to visit more often!


Mike Stewart said...

Thanks for the comments guys! Not a bad idea about Pam Anderson as one of my jack off celebrities Bi Rob! Thanks for the kind words dee's husband have a mighty hot blog (and wife!) yourself!