Wednesday, February 21, 2007

It's a Big Goofy Old World!

First we had the story of that lovestruck Astro-nut who went chasing a female rival all over the country (wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to pee!) with the probable intention of zapping the rival because she was apparently playing "Hide the Salami!" with her main squeeze, another Air Force (male) pilot. Then Anna Nicole Smith died, the media went bonkers and everybody in the country except me and Pee Wee Herman claimed to be the father of her baby. You think you've finally heard everything but the wacky news continues to roll in. Keep on reading and you'll see what I mean!

I read about this in the New York Times. A much praised children's book called "The Higher Power of Lucky" by Susan Patron is the subject of great controversy because it contains the word "scrotum". The 10 year old heroine of the book hears the word through a hole in the wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog on the scrotum. There is nothing else objectionable in the book which is this year's winner of the Newbery Medal, the most prestigious award in Children's literature. Yet you have all these blue nosed librarians and Republican bible thumpers with their panties in an uproar over that one word. It's already been banned from several school libraries across the country. What a crock of shit! Kids hear all the profanity on cable TV, in the movies and in that cultural rot called "hip hop" and at an early age are exposed to the worst kind of smut on the internet and these people are worried about the single use of the word "scrotum" in a wonderful book. This is the biggest much ado about nothing since Janet Jackson's titty slipped out on the Super Bowl halftime show and you would have thought the world was going to come to an end. Oh balls! Oh Nuts! Oh Scrotum!

Then all over the cable news networks the big story from a couple of days ago was that Britney Spears shaved her head bald, possibly to match her bald pussy which she has flashed in public several times. See my previous post "Britney Bares Bald Beaver" HERE for visual evidence of that. That woman continues to prove she is a freaking nut case...and yeah I'd still like to fuck her anyway! I've never fucked a bald headed woman yet! Hell unless I've forgotten something (and I think I'd remember this!) I've never even fucked a bald pussy (the women of my era did not shave down there!), let alone fuck a bald headed woman! Fucking Britney just might be the closest thing to fucking an alien babe from outer space (in mind as well as body). Oops I forgot about the Astro-nut stalker babe! She's still somewhere out there in the Outer Limits!

There is more...I just read that the people of the great state of Alabama are 90 per cent opposed to the law passed in 1998 that outlawed the sale of sex toys in their great state! Well Duh! I suppose Alabama is like most states where you can buy guns on any corner...and yet you can't go into a sex shop and buy a dildo, a vibe or (my personal favorite) an inflatable woman! Regarding that irony one Alabaman quipped "I ain't heard about anyone killed by a vibrating banana yet!" Ah the power of those right wing religious fanatic crackers! No wonder the citizens are pissed! Please remind me NEVER to move to Alabama, not that I ever had any intention to! Not to pick on Alabama too much, I believe Mississippi has a similar fucked up sex toy law!

And finally...the Air Force has removed from active duty and demoted that lovely female staff sergeant Michelle Manhart (above and left) who posed in the nude for Playboy! I wonder what bone headed, brain dead general made that stupid decision! You can lay your life on the line for your country including possibly getting killed in an unnecessary war but you can't take your clothes off for some tasteful nude photographs in Playboy magazine! God help us if some young stud or old fart (like me!) is jacking off to her pictures! Yo General Dickhead! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! (I've wanted to say that to a general ever since I was an Army private almost 50 years ago! "Sir" my ass!) Ms. Manhart you're a babe and we love you! We thank you for your service to your country and for having the decency to take your clothes off for us horndogs of all ages! You definitely got a "rise" out of the Horny Old Guy if you know what I mean and I think you do! Both me and my dong salute you darlin'!

Yup it's a big goofy old world folks! This goofy blog is just one more example of that and as always I thank you for reading this nonsense! Enjoy the rest of the week and the weekend! Try not to do anything as goofy as the dude on the slide in the cartoon below! LOL I shall return on Monday, hopefully pussy whipped since Marcella will be here for the weekend! Bye for now!


Anonymous said...

Hi Mike, the world is going nuts, oh can I say Pussy, cock, fuck, slut, bitch,,there now that I said that, fuck the people who can't say the word sex. Great post Mike. I luv Brit's bald beaver,and would gladly lick her till she passes out. Ha, this lad is off to the Dominican on Monday, so you won't hear from the Bi guy until the 9th of March. Oh I am so looking forward to the warmth, palm trees, lots of hot topless ladies, hot teens, and thongs on men and women...mmmmm Will talk again after the bi guy gets back,,bi for now Bi Johnny

Dee's Husband Joe said...

Ah! Another great rant that makes my daily visit here a must!

Al Sensu said...

Great news summary!

Jess said...

People are so freakin screwed up. I think those who are banning the sex needs to pull that corn cob out of their asses and pay attention to the really important things going on in this world. Maybe they are just jealous cuz everyone else is gettin it better than they are :-p

Mike Stewart said...

Thanks for those comments folks! Hey Bi Rob have lots of fun on that vacation! You obviously have twice the opportunities for vacation fun (and sex!) as most of the rest of us!

Thanks Joe and guys obviously are easily amused and I appreciate you stopping by to read my nonsense!

Jess darlin' I couldn't agree more with your comment! Cheers!

MrManicDepressive said...

Hey Mike,

Texas has an assinine law like that too.

Also, I'd like to know how the Air Force hottie was able to afford a boob job. She's cute but I hate fake breasts. Of course, the armed forces reacted in the only way they know. She can kill all she wants but show a little flesh? No, not acceptable.

Personally, I'd rather see more sex on TV than all the violence that's currently on, but, that's just me.

Mike Stewart said...

I'm with you mr m/d about more sex and less violence on TV. Amazing that you can show graphic decapitations and disembowelments but not even a bare titty, at least on network TV. Congress even came close to putting those restrictions on the satellite networks like HBO and Cinemax. Pathetic!