Thursday, April 05, 2007

Jacking Off to Kirsten Dunst!

Well folks it's once again time for the Horny Old Guy to name his Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the Month. I hear all of the babes down in Hollywood are just as nervous as when they are about to announce the nominations for the Academy Award. This month this coveted honor will go to Ms. Kirsten Dunst. I was watching one of those Spiderman flicks the other night and every time sweet Kirsten showed up I was thinking to myself "Wow! I'd sure like to fuck her!" Of course I think that about every actress I see on the screen with the possible exception of Judi Densch (and even Dame Judi looks pretty good after a few glasses of wine! LOL). Since I was looking for a new Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy (which I now need more than ever since my sweetie took a hike!) for the month of April I said to myself "You da' woman Kirsten!"

Kirsten is 25 years old as of just a few days ago (what a nice age!) and has been around for a while. She started acting at the age of 7 in "New York Stories' and has been in such films as "Little Women" and "Marie Antoinette" among many others. I have to confess that I was not aware of her before the Spiderman movies though. Sadly it doesn't appear that she has done any nude scenes in any of her films. Damn the bad luck! Fortunately the paparazzi, those candid photographers of celebrities, caught her coming out of the water while experiencing a major league nip slip, to the delight of us horny young guys and horny old guys all over the world. Thank you Jesus for that stroke of good luck! We can only hope that Ms. Dunst will display some more skin in some of her future roles in movies.

Kirsten is of course a lovely young woman with or without her clothes as these pictures so vividly illustrate. The low cut dresses and other skimpy outfits are more than enough to keep me and my ancient pecker busy on lonely Saturday nights for the rest of the month. As I've said many times before in this ridiculous blog, at my age you have to take your cheap thrills where you can find them! Yup every Saturday night in April the Horny Old Guy will be jackin' off to fantasies of sweet Kristen Dunst! You other horndogs with or without current female companionship are invited to join in the festivities!

I got some discouraging information about the possibility of my dating (among other things!) Marcella's lovely roommate Patty this week. The information came from Marcella herself. The situation with my redhead neighbor Kathy looks a little more promising...but it may take a while to get to the place where I want to go if you know what I mean and I think you do! I'll fill you in on the details regarding the sad state of my current love life in my next post early next week. For now I'll just wish you all a pleasant weekend and as always thanks for reading this nonsense!


Steff said... is two days into this week and where is the story behind you and Patty? Inquiring minds want to know!

Mike Stewart said...

Be patient my darlin'...I'm working on it! It's hard to type with only one hand you know...and by the way you made an appearance in my fantasies this weekend again...darlin! Cheers!

Steff said...

One hand huh? I can only imagine what the other hand is doing...

Fine...I'll try to excersize some patience. But, Mike...please make it worth my wait. ;)

Goodness I'm suddenly completely turned on...

Mike Stewart said...'s not all that much news Steff...don't get your hopes fact it's negative thinks it's about time to forget about Patty baby!

You're imagination is absolutely correct about that other hand...and again what a lovely thought about my Texas darlin' being completely turned on...excuse me and my right hand again...I may NEVER get around to completing my latest post at the rate I'm going...and it ain't that good anyway!

MrManicDepressive said...

I've become quite fond of Kirsten myself. There's something about her face. Good luck with the redhead.