Monday, April 16, 2007

Oral Dreams

Normally I don't dream all that much but since Marcella and I broke up I've been having all sorts of goofy dreams. No they aren't wet dreams! Actually I've never had a wet dream in my whole life. I used to think that something was wrong with my plumbing but I finally realized with all the jacking off that I've done (starting before puberty) and with the fucking and getting sucked off that I did anytime I had the chance there was and is no need for me to have wet dreams. Nature apparently provides us guys wet dreams only to get rid of our built up semen and that's never been a problem with me because of my "hobby" if you know what I mean and I think you do! It took me almost forty years to figure this all out (Duh!) which shows you how bright I am.

Way back in my twenties I decided that I would stop jacking off for a while, primarily just to see what a wet dream actually felt like. My jack off fast lasted for about a month I think. I was getting super horny, undressing every woman I saw on the street (oops...I do that anyway!), getting a hard on every time I took my dick out to take a piss...but still no fucking wet dream! One day I was driving down a country road, started thinking about pussy, sprung a big throbbing boner and said to myself "FUCK THIS!". I pulled over to the side of the road, whipped my dick out and jacked it off then and there. I don't think any ejaculation in my life has ever felt so good. The only bummer was that I got jism all over my shirt, pants and the car seat. What an eruption! What a flood! That was the one and only time that I ever I ever got a goofy idea like that. Now I think I know what makes those priests go bonkers! Anyway to this day I've never had a wet dream and I'd STILL like to know how they feel!

My dreams lately seem to always involve me eating pussy rather than fucking or getting sucked off. I even had a dream about being over at Marcella's and eating her luscious roommate Patty out. In the dream Marcella walked right by Patty's bedroom door, just looked in nonchalantly (like that would ever happen!) and I just kept on "yodeling in the canyon"! Ah if only some dreams would come true! I woke up in the middle of the night with a stiff dick which I promptly took care of. That's as close as I ever come (cum?) to having a wet dream.

In another dream just last Saturday night I was going down on Gloria, a girlfriend I had back in my fifties. We were on vacation at Waikiki (where we actually went one summer) and her parents were with her but we were on a secluded beach by ourselves and I was eating her out. Some Hawaiian cops came by and told us we had to stop having sex on the beach or we would be arrested. That's when I woke up. That definitely never happened in real life and I have no idea what triggered that crazy dream. I guess it's related to everything that ever happened in your life and everyone you ever knew...and it all gets scrambled together, sometimes into good dreams and sometimes into nightmares. That of course applies to all of the dreams we have, not just just the sexual variety.

I do miss the pussy eating almost as much as the fucking and blow jobs that I experienced with Marcella. Maybe that's what is triggering all these oral dreams. I just love to eat pussy! There is something so erotic about burying your face in a warm juicy muff, tasting that nectar and bringing your partner some of the pleasure she brings you. It took me quite a while before I really felt comfortable and competent at eating pussy though. Even though I had my first taste at the age of 16 or 17 with my first girlfriend Vicki (who had one lovely muff!) I really didn't have a clue back then on what to do down there. That was followed by three years of primarily just fucking the whores while I was in the Army and those were not the kind of women you kissed, let alone went down on!

A high school jailbait sweetie pie in El Paso (where I was stationed in the Army) got me back in the pussy eating game and then I got some more practice with my first wife Margaret. She seemed to sort of enjoy it although she seldom returned the oral favors...and that made me lose interest in spending too much time orally pleasing her. A couple of graphic sex manuals started to educate me in in my early thirties and still more practice with my second wife Julia (who did return the favor!) finally made me proficient (I think!) in the fine art of pussy eating by about my mid thirties.

Since then I've had lots of compliments and very few complaints, none that I can think of in fact. Hopefully the women all haven't been faking it. There were a couple of women who just didn't care to be licked down there for whatever reason but they have been the exceptions. Most of the women let me know vocally that I was doing something very right! Marcella was particularly vocal and I suspect that my condo neighbors are happy that the weekend late night noise factor has decreased substantially since she left me. I kidded Marcy that some of the neighbors may have been considering calling 911 on a couple of those nights when she was really going into orbit as I was doing my "yodeling in the canyon" thingy!

Hopefully my days and nights of enjoying the wonderful sport of muff diving aren't over yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be "yodeling" in Kathy's "canyon" before the summer is over. Ah just the thought of licking that red haired (hopefully not shaved...and at her age, I doubt it!) pussy does wonders for my disposition as well as my dong. Red pubic hair has always been a major turn on for me as I think I've mentioned before, although at this stage of my life any color of pubic hair will do! Just let me lick what lies beneath it! On that happy thought I'll close this rambling post for today. Enjoy the week y'all and may all of your dreams be sweet and sexy and oral ones! Bye for now!


Dee's Husband Joe said...

I never had a wet dream either, dammit! I've had erotic dreams on occasion, but in them I've done mostly innocuous things like sucking on nipples than anything that would lead me toward orgasm. It's good to know that I'm not alone in wishing I could have one, but I'd never "fast" from climaxes for the sake of trying.


Steff said...

For what it's worth...I've never had a wet dream either. :)

Al Sensu said...

Well, I'll be happy to fill you in because I remember the wet dream experience as I was a late starter in the jacking off division.

It's not really a dream, and you don't feel an orgasm. You wake up with your pajamas and the sheets wet and sticky and wondering how you can keep your mother from finding out (not realizing she knows all about this stuff).

Now once I did start self-amusement, the thought of laying off for a month would be impossible to get my mind around. From age 17 until 50 I don't think I missed a day or either masturbation or sex, and sometimes both. Now I occasionally skip a day; guess I'm slowing down.

Mike Stewart said...

I'm with you Joe, LOTS of erotic dreams but none of them ever end in anything more climatic than waking up with a boner (which at my age ain't a bad thing!)

No wet dreams eh Steff darlin'? Bet you've given many a dude (young and old!) a few!!! You ever think about teaching junior high or high school boys instead of your young ones? Bet there would a few boners in that classroom!

Thanks for that explanation Al! I honestly was unclear on the concept, never having had even one wet dream. I pictured having a dream where you fucked a babe and then woke up wet just as you were shooting your wad in the dream.

wet dream woman said...

Had to leave a message.
I've had wet dreams on and off most of my adult life. Mine always sparked by a very intense and sexual dream. For me, it really is as you might imagine.... the genitals meet or the cunnilingus starts and then the orgasm in the dream wakes me up and I'm coming in real life. Haven't had one for a while. Think I'm due one.


Mike Stewart said...

Thanks for that first hand report WDM! Several women over the years have told me the same thing. Guess it's just like it is with us guys...some have 'em, some don't! Glad you women can have some fun in your sleep too!

anonymous redhead said...

I've had those dreams a few times over the years myself. It's always the same scenario: the first guy I fell in love with (and only guy up to this point) is giving me oral pleasure. Back then I only let him do it maybe twice and I was too shy/modest to let him do it for very long, maybe 10-15 seconds at the most. Boy, do I regret that now! Thoughts of him turn me on more than anything or anyone. I gave him countless blow jobs, probably every time we saw each other and I loved it - with him. Any other time I've given oral sex wasn't great for me. I'm still more modest than I like to admit when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, in my case it seems I have to be in love with the person to really get anything out of it.

Mike Stewart said...

Thanks for that comment redhead! Only 10 or 15 seconds of oral? Poor Boy, he had only a taste of "heaven" (and lovely red-haired "heaven" too!) Poor Girl too eh?

Countless blow jobs, every time you saw him? LUCKY BOY! Some guys have all the luck!

May you soon fall in love again and have MUCH more oral satisfaction!

Anonymous said...

Hi Mike, Bi Johnny here, yes I have had one or 2 wet dreams. Maybe not a total load, but i do remember waking up with wet down Johnny was a bad boy last night. Believe it or not he did a first, a 3some, where the guy wanted me to cum all over his face..Oh and did he get a load,,to each there own as you say,,lol, Have a great weekend old soldier,,
Bi Johnny