Monday, April 16, 2007
Normally I don't dream all that much but since Marcella and I broke up I've been having all sorts of goofy dreams. No they aren't wet dreams! Actually I've never had a wet dream in my whole life. I used to think that something was wrong with my plumbing but I finally realized with all the jacking off that I've done (starting before puberty) and with the fucking and getting sucked off that I did anytime I had the chance there was and is no need for me to have wet dreams. Nature apparently provides us guys wet dreams only to get rid of our built up semen and that's never been a problem with me because of my "hobby" if you know what I mean and I think you do! It took me almost forty years to figure this all out (Duh!) which shows you how bright I am.
Way back in my twenties I decided that I would stop jacking off for a while, primarily just to see what a wet dream actually felt like. My jack off fast lasted for about a month I think. I was getting super horny, undressing every woman I saw on the street (oops...I do that anyway!), getting a hard on every time I took my dick out to take a piss...but still no fucking wet dream! One day I was driving down a country road, started thinking about pussy, sprung a big throbbing boner and said to myself "FUCK THIS!". I pulled over to the side of the road, whipped my dick out and jacked it off then and there. I don't think any ejaculation in my life has ever felt so good. The only bummer was that I got jism all over my shirt, pants and the car seat. What an eruption! What a flood! That was the one and only time that I ever I ever got a goofy idea like that. Now I think I know what makes those priests go bonkers! Anyway to this day I've never had a wet dream and I'd STILL like to know how they feel!
My dreams lately seem to always involve me eating pussy rather than fucking or getting sucked off. I even had a dream about being over at Marcella's and eating her luscious roommate Patty out. In the dream Marcella walked right by Patty's bedroom door, just looked in nonchalantly (like that would ever happen!) and I just kept on "yodeling in the canyon"! Ah if only some dreams would come true! I woke up in the middle of the night with a stiff dick which I promptly took care of. That's as close as I ever come (cum?) to having a wet dream.
In another dream just last Saturday night I was going down on Gloria, a girlfriend I had back in my fifties. We were on vacation at Waikiki (where we actually went one summer) and her parents were with her but we were on a secluded beach by ourselves and I was eating her out. Some Hawaiian cops came by and told us we had to stop having sex on the beach or we would be arrested. That's when I woke up. That definitely never happened in real life and I have no idea what triggered that crazy dream. I guess it's related to everything that ever happened in your life and everyone you ever knew...and it all gets scrambled together, sometimes into good dreams and sometimes into nightmares. That of course applies to all of the dreams we have, not just just the sexual variety.
I do miss the pussy eating almost as much as the fucking and blow jobs that I experienced with Marcella. Maybe that's what is triggering all these oral dreams. I just love to eat pussy! There is something so erotic about burying your face in a warm juicy muff, tasting that nectar and bringing your partner some of the pleasure she brings you. It took me quite a while before I really felt comfortable and competent at eating pussy though. Even though I had my first taste at the age of 16 or 17 with my first girlfriend Vicki (who had one lovely muff!) I really didn't have a clue back then on what to do down there. That was followed by three years of primarily just fucking the whores while I was in the Army and those were not the kind of women you kissed, let alone went down on!
A high school jailbait sweetie pie in El Paso (where I was stationed in the Army) got me back in the pussy eating game and then I got some more practice with my first wife Margaret. She seemed to sort of enjoy it although she seldom returned the oral favors...and that made me lose interest in spending too much time orally pleasing her. A couple of graphic sex manuals started to educate me in in my early thirties and still more practice with my second wife Julia (who did return the favor!) finally made me proficient (I think!) in the fine art of pussy eating by about my mid thirties.
Hopefully my days and nights of enjoying the wonderful sport of muff diving aren't over yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be "yodeling" in Kathy's "canyon" before the summer is over. Ah just the thought of licking that red haired (hopefully not shaved...and at her age, I doubt it!) pussy does wonders for my disposition as well as my dong. Red pubic hair has always been a major turn on for me as I think I've mentioned before, although at this stage of my life any color of pubic hair will do! Just let me lick what lies beneath it! On that happy thought I'll close this rambling post for today. Enjoy the week y'all and may all of your dreams be sweet and sexy and oral ones! Bye for now!