Saturday, October 11, 2008

Jacking Off to Sarah Palin!

As John McCain might say "My friends I just can't help myself!" I just have to come out of blogging semi-retirement to name Ms. Sarah Palin, Governor of the great state of Alaska, Republican Vice Presidential candidate and darling of the right wing Rush Limbaugh worshipping crowd as my Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the make it my Celebrity Jack Off Fantasy of the YEAR! Yeah I'll admit it my friends...I've been springing boners and whacking off to fantasies about Sweet Sarah ever since John McCain announced her as his running mate...and most likely eliminated any chance of becoming the next President! Just what was that McCain dude thinking? In my most humble and ancient opinion Sarah is about as qualified to be Vice President or President (HELP!) as I am. However she is indeed a good looking babe and at my age I have to take my cheap thrills where I can find them! Yup folks as much as I hate to admit it darn it I've been jacking off regularly to Sarah Palin! You betcha' I have!

I'm not alone in my lust for Sarah. From what I've heard every dude in the country from teenage boys who consider Sarah "one hecka kewl MILF (Mother I'd Like to Fuck)" to old farts like me (more than old enough to be Sarah's daddy!) are whipping out our dongs and beating our meat while fantasizing what it would be like to see Sarah in her birthday suit or better yet get some head from her or play "Hide the Salami" with her. Sarah may be crazy as a loon but there is just something about that four eyed librarian look and that goofy voice that makes you want to slip the salami to her! And you thought I had reached bottom when I gave Katie Couric the great honor of being one of my celebrity jack off fantasies eh?

For further proof of the male sexual obsession with Ms. Palin note that Larry Flynt and Hustler magazine are about to release a porno DVD featuring a Sarah lookalike entitled "Nailin' Pailin" (LOL) (above). Then there is the brand new "This is NOT (Sarah Palin" inflatable love doll shown at left which comes complete with three love holes for your bi-partisan sexual pleasure, $59.95 plus shipping and handling, batteries not included. Hillary Clinton is reported to be envious and angry that a Hillary love doll is not in the works. Bubba Clinton agrees and says it's all the media's fault. He says he might even be interested in buying one of those Hillary dolls because he would probably get more sexual satisfaction from it than he does from the real Hillary who of course has never forgiven him for all those juicy blow jobs he got from Monica Lewinsky.

Before I get branded a sexist pig (Really I'm not!) let me add that I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary and would love to see Senator Clinton or any other intelligent and QUALIFIED woman of either party as President or Vice President. God knows they couldn't screw things up any worse than some of the recent occupants of the White House and yes I'm thinking of one cowboy from Texas in particular! Sarah Palin is just not the answer though, again in my most humble and ancient opinion! I mean one heartbeat away from the presidency and when that potential President is 72 years old? Give me a break! Disagree? That is your absolute right and I respect your difference of opinion...even if you're wrong! If you fine people up there in the great frozen state of Alaska (a state I have visited several times and love by the way!) think she is the greatest thing since mooseburgers well that's just fine with me...just keep her up there...please! Sarah will of course remain a fixture in my masturbatory fantasies for some time to come. In fact I'm getting a hard on thinking of her right now!

Unfortunately there is nothing to report regarding my social and sex life since my last posting in May of this year. The summer was a good one for me despite the lack of sexual activity and it went flying by just as it always does. I didn't get laid one time, damn the bad luck! That makes it over a year and a half since I've been able to enjoy the wonderful sports of eating pussy, having my weenie sucked and fucking. Do I miss those things as well as the other aspects of steady female companionship? Well Hell yeah! Even though I'm an optimist at heart and still expect to meet the love of my life, at my age (68! Wow!) I do have to face the fact that my pussy eating and fucking days may be over for good now...and yet...and yet I have no complaints. As I've said before I'm pretty much a happy camper...or happy jerker and my right hand together with fantasies about Sarah Palin as well as that young babe down at the donut shop (among many, many others!) will get me through the lonely nights.

If and when my social life picks up and I have something to say besides "Well I jacked off again last night!" you nice folks will be the first to know. Until then enjoy the fall season and the upcoming holidays! My fellow Americans please don't you forget to vote even if it's for Sarah Palin and that cranky old guy she's running with. This is one of the most important elections I can remember in my lifetime and I've been through quite a few. My sincere apologies to anyone I have offended with this post, particularly those of one of our two major political parties. As always, thanks for reading! Now let me get back to fantasizing about Sarah! And once again the sound of the zipper on the fly of the Horny Old Guy is heard in the distance...