Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas 2009...Life is Good!



Jesus Christ! I don't believe it! There is somebody out there even more horny than me...and it's Tiger Fucking Woods!!! Who would have thunk? You da' man Tiger! Actually you're an ASSHOLE! You didn't even use condoms when you fucked some of those sluts! Adultery is bad enough but to not practice safe sex in this day and age, especially for a married man, is absolutely unforgivable! If you really needed something on the side you should have just stayed home and jacked off like me! Yeah I know...that old saying that "a stiff prick has no conscience"! Truer words were never spoken but you're still an ASSHOLE Tiger, in fact you are ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR for 2009! I hope your fucking golfing career is over! I strongly suspect that your days and nights of fucking your hot Swedish wife are deservingly over!  (End of Rant!)


A year ago in my Christmas 2008 post (since deleted)I was crying in my beer over my bad case of lack-a-nookie (not getting laid!) and pondering whether I was ever to have the pleasure of eating pussy, having a nice juicy blow job performed on my ancient but still functioning pecker or playing "Hide the Salami" with a willing babe again. I was starting to envision myself finishing up my time on earth still jacking off in a nursing home. At age 68 (69 now) thoughts like that do occur to you from time to time although in fact I've been well aware of my own mortality since I was about six years old. Back then the end of the road seemed so far away though! Now even though I'm in extremely good health...well who knows when I'll "blast off" for the last time?


What a difference a year makes though! In January I met a lovely 52 (53 now) year old blond woman named Diane in a Southwest Airlines boarding gate lounge in Denver. You can read about that in the post right below this one. It took until Easter weekend to "get back in the saddle", that is have sex with Diane but since then things just keep getting better and better, sexually and every other way! I'm in love and in lust and I couldn't be happier! Life is good again for the Horny Old Guy! Not that I wasn't fairly content when it was just me and my dick and my fantasies you understand but being in a wonderful relationship is just soooo much more rewarding and with such great fringe benefits, getting my weenie sucked regularly being only one of them!


Diane is in Colorado visiting her family and friends for the Christmas and New Year's holidays just as she did last year right before we met. She seems to be getting real serious about moving back to Colorado for good after this school year. She misses her family (parents, daughter, granddaughter) very much and would like to finish up her teaching career (working 6 or 7 more years I believe) where she started it, in her home town of Colorado Springs or somewhere close by. She came out to California when her ex hubby got transferred out here and although she loves California she loves Colorado even more. I can understand that but that could cause some big problems for our relationship, maybe even bring an end to it. Not that I'm absolutely tied down here you understand. I'm retired of course and with my only sister living in Denver and my seldom seen daughter in Oregon a move isn't out of the question for me...and yet I've lived in California all of my life, have lots of friends here and enjoy the climate and all things there are to do here. Cold Colorado winters are not my idea of fun either!


I wouldn't mind getting out of Stockton at all though. It's a rather unappealing city (okay it's a dump!) which I have never been overly fond of. I've hinted to Diane that we should buy a house in the foothills of the Sierras, eighty miles from Stockton where she now lives and teaches. I love that area and could easily spend the rest of my life there, especially with Diane at my side. However she's really got Colorado on her mind now and I don't think I can change her mind about moving back. The clock is ticking and we're both going to have to make some big time decisions about the future of our relationship in the next few months. While Diane is in Colorado now and I have nothing much else to do but lay around the house and play with my weenie I'm going to try to begin to give it some serious thought. That's really the purpose of this lame blog post...to at least get me to start thinking about it!


The "m" word (marriage) really hasn't been put on the table yet and that's a subject that somewhat scares me. It's been a LONG time since I've been a serious committed relationship, even a longer time (over 30 years!) since I've been married. I've since become somewhat of a loner and very appreciative of my independence. Up until now this relationship with Diane, just like my last relationship with my Filipino princess Marcella, has pretty much been a weekend only thingy. I love the weekends with Diane for the companionship as well as the sex but I also love my time alone during the week. It's hard to explain but I miss Diane during the week and at the same time love the time by myself. Go figure! And yet...and yet...at the ripe old age of 69 (70 next summer!) if I'm not now ready to settle down with a companion (who I truly do love!) I will never be! Living together is of course an option but Diane's parents (who I've already met along with the rest of her family) are rather conservative and I'm sure they would rather we be married. I suspect Diane's choice would be the same. There are also some financial implications (primarily medical and retirement) that favor marriage over living together for both of us too. Oh this is all too much to contemplate at this late hour! I'll think about it tomorrow...or the day after!


So here I am alone once again at Christmas time! No big deal since in recent years that's been the rule rather than the exception. Diane and I celebrated Christmas yesterday (December 19th) and this morning I drove her to the Sacramento airport for her flight to Colorado. Since we've exchanged Christmas presents that means my Christmas shopping is over! Thank you Jesus for that! I've also sent out my Christmas cards and have sent packages to my daughter Jennie in Oregon and my sister Karen in Colorado. Nothing much to do this week but stay away from the freaking mall and relax. I've got plenty of time for jerking off both literally and figuratively!


By the way just because I'm in a relationship I haven't lost my passion for masturbation! Jerking off still gets me through the week while Diane is living and working 80 miles away. Our separations are sometimes a couple of weeks long like right now and when she has other things to do (she's an artist as well as a teacher and does quite a few art shows) on her weekends. Yup jacking off still gets me through the solitary days and nights and feels just as good as it did when I was a horny teenager! Well ALMOST as good anyway!


Enough of this nonsense for now. I realize most of my regular readers (both of them!) are long gone but to anybody who stumbles on this post I thank you for reading and wish you the best of happy holidays. May you have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous, happy and sex filled 2010! I'll be back later in that year to tell you how our relationship is progressing. I feel extremely optimistic that this one is going to have a happy ending but I have been wrong before...many, many times before! Who knows what my crystal ball really holds this year besides lots more jacking off for me? Keep your fingers and anything else you have crossed for the Horny Old Guy. Thanks again for reading this crap! Bye for now!

6 comments:

Mr Manic Depressive said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS MIKE! TW and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a fucktastic New Year!

Anonymous said...

Oh shit now im a repeat poster rather than a lurker as i should be. Oh well.
Merryy christmas. Good luck with D, maybe marriage is a good idea for you. It would give you more purpose(im sure you have a life other than this blog, because your not here enough!) As well as medical benefits as you've mentioned which, although your in good health, May become an issue and the sexy age of 69! However, living together could be a severe detriment to whacking off time.

I myself managed to scratch my wang that has temporarily put any friction out of the question. Not that i get any from anyone else. On that note, me and my virginal girlfriend (oh dear) are heading on a fruitful relationship towards what you would call nookie. Mind you, knowing that a 69yearold gets it more than me stings but you deserve it more too!!
Oh dear, now i'm being longwinded.
Goodnight, Good day, Good fucking and Good Luck.
L

Mike Stewart said...

Thanks so much Mr M/D! Hope you and your lovely wife have a great and sex filled 2010! I feel really good about this year...but I've been wrong before! Only time will tell!

Thanks to you also Mr Anonymous! I hear you talking about your scratched wang! I had a rash on mine recently which caused me (on my female doc's orders!) to stop playing with my weenie until it cleared up. Pure torture for about a week (not jerking off, not the rash!). Ooh you have a virginal girlfriend with the potential for popping her cherry eh? Some guys have all the luck! Thanks again and Happy New Year to you both! Hope you and your wang are soon back in action!

Anonymous said...

OMG are all old dudes so freakin hornie? thoughts of my grandpa jacking off never happen til now ya know. u r too cool anyway dude :). janelle

Anonymous said...

Sad, sad news.
You are no longer the first note up when one types "horny old guy" into google... Woe is me...
But you'll always be numer 1 in my eyes :)
L

Mike Stewart said...

Thanks Anonymous (Janelle)! I'm not sure if ALL old dudes are "so freaking horny" as me but I suspect most of them are. Yeah your grandpa probably whacks off unless grandma or somebody else is taking VERY good care of him. Grandpas have to fun too you know!

Thanks Anonymous #2 for your kind words too! Yeah my popularity with Google went down the toilet! My nasty images from this blog used to show up near the top of Google image searches and that really increased my blog readership as people clicked on those images. Now that my blog has a warning before you can enter here that apparently took my XXX rated images off Google too. Bummer! As long as I'm #1 in your eyes that's all I care about! Thanks!