Sunday, June 27, 2010

Okay This REALLY Is My Last Post!

Yup it's all true folks! Click on the above image to enlarge text and read all about it!

Hmmm...there are some people in Stockton who are not too sad to see the Horny Old Guy depart their fair city! Oh can't please them all!

Yeah I know I said I was through with blogging three years ago and looking at the few lame ass posts I've made since I probably should have been through. This time I really mean it though! Yours truly the Horny Old Guy is now a happily married man and in just a very few short days will be living with his lovely new bride Diane in the great state of Colorado! As a faithful married man there is absolutely no way that I can continue to babble on about lusting after every babe I see and spending most of my free time fantasizing about those babes and jacking off to them. Diane of course doesn't know about my cyberspace Horny Old Guy persona and knowing her as I now do I can guarantee you that she would NOT be amused if she stumbled on this X rated blog! I also feel extremely guilty about blogging about her and us and our sex life behind her back now that we are married so it's time for the Horny Old Guy to zip up his fly and disappear into cyberspace. It's time for him to concentrate on being a good husband in a brand new state. Since so few people wander into this semi-dead blog nowadays it's probably just as well that I take a hike!

Saturday May 29, 2010 was "a day that will live in infamy!" That was the day that I got married to my sweetie Diane in a funky wedding chapel in downtown Reno, Nevada. About the only good thing that I can say about the wedding ceremony was that it was quickly over and with few witnesses to the deed! Thank God Diane didn't want a church wedding back in Colorado as I initially feared she might! My second marriage was in a church and I absolutely hated every minute of it! Hell I don't even like to go to other people's weddings, let alone participate in one of my own! Diane favored marriage over living together though and so did her straight laced family back home. There are some financial benefits for both of us to us being married too....soooo after giving the matter some very serious consideration I popped the question on Easter weekend and Diane immediately accepted.

There was lots of apprehension and nervousness and yeah even some second thoughts after the proposal and right up to the wedding day though! I'm about to turn 70 years of age (HELP!) very soon and haven't been a husband since my 30's. Both of my two marriages ended in divorce and even though I've had numerous short and long term relationships since that second divorce all of those relationships would also be eventually doomed to fail! I was not at all sure that I was good marriage material and did (and still do!) truly value my independent lifestyle. The Reno wedding chapel with slot machines in the parlor didn't exactly ease my nervous mind and when I saw that the hired gun minister was sort of tipsy I felt like heading for the Greyhound bus depot and catching the first bus to anywhere! Somehow I made it through the ceremony though. Diane and I as well as our witness, Diane's best friend Sandra, all had trouble keeping straight faces because in addition to being tipsy this "man of the cloth" spoke sort of funny! It was only after we left the chapel and headed back to our hotel/casino that I started feeling very comfortable and happy about being married and I've felt that way ever since.

Diane and I did what people have always done on their wedding night,,,fucked our brains out! All that wine and champagne we drank earlier in the evening gave both of us quite a buzz and the sex was better than ever! I got a little bit of an extra rush knowing that Diane's friend Sandra was in the adjoining room. Sandra is a babe and yeah some fantasies of a threesome were creeping into my dirty mind even on our wedding night! Diane who like my former sweetie Marcella gets very vocal during orgasms no doubt wished that Sandra would have been on a different floor or better yet in a different hotel. The amused look on Sandra's face the next morning (actually the next afternoon!) made me think that she had got an earful during the night! I certainly hope so!

After the wedding we came back to our respective homes for a couple of days and then drove to San Francisco where we spent the night. The following morning we flew to Honolulu for a brief five day honeymoon! We had a great time in Hawaii, spent much more time in the sack than in the sun but fucking is what honeymoons are for aren't they? Then it was back to our own homes again to start preparing and packing for our move to Colorado at the end of this month. Diane is from Colorado, has her entire family there and had planned to move back there with or without me after this school year (she's an elementary school teacher).

As a native Californian with lots of friends here the prospect of moving to another state was as potentially traumatic as getting married but I've warmed to the idea and am now actually looking forward to getting out of this rather lackluster city called Stockton. Our local cops in an effort to get a better contract and higher pay have recently posted signs around town saying "Welcome to Stockton, the Second Most Dangerous City in California!" With California (also known as Northern Mexico) in general going steadily down the toilet I came to the conclusion that it's about time for the Horny Old Guy to get out of state as well as out of town. Will Colorado ultimately be as crazy? I don't know but I'm about to find out!

So it's off to Colorado and a new life with a new wife...and I'm truly becoming increasingly excited and optimistic about that whole scenario! Wednesday June 30 is our official moving day. Diane has better furniture so we are taking most of that which along with her other belongings will be moved by a professional mover. I'm loading all of my "stuff" in a U-Haul a trailer which I will tow to our new home. Diane will be driving her own car, following me and the trailer. It looks like a two day road trip starting out on the morning of June 30. We hope to be in our new apartment in Colorado Springs by the evening of July 1. The apartment will just be our temporary home. We want to start looking for a house to buy immediately and hopefully settled in before Diane (hopefully again) starts her new teaching job in September. It's going to be one busy summer for both of us!

Since our marriage four weeks ago we've spent about half of the time in our own homes packing and preparing to move so I really haven't become accustomed to what will be the new norm for the Horny Old Guy...having a live in companion...a WIFE 24/7! There of course will be some big changes in my lifestyle ahead! More specifically there will be less being the Horny Old Guy, less time for ogling the babes on and off line, and sadly less time and privacy for fantasizing about those babes and jacking off to those fantasies. Damn the bad luck! Once the school year starts though I will have more of my much needed time alone, at least during the daytime hours when Diane is at work teaching. Both me and my ancient but still functioning senior citizen dong are already looking forward to that!

Am I going to be giving up jacking off altogether? You've got to be fucking kidding! I'd no more give up beating my meat than I would give up breathing or eating! Jacking off has been a passion of mine since I first discovered it even before puberty. There is no way that I could ever stop jacking off! Diane knows this and accepts it I think. As much as I enjoy eating pussy, getting my cock sucked and fucking (and there obviously will be MUCH more of those fun activities from now on!) I still need privacy and time to practice and enjoy my favorite "hobby" if you know what I mean and I think you do! I suppose I'll have to be a little more more sitting here naked at the computer surfing porn and jerking off to " " least when Diane is in the same room! As long as there are locks on the bathroom door I think I'll find private time to sit on the crapper and spank the old (and I do mean OLD!) monkey though! Jerking off in the shower just as Kevin Spacey did in the movie "American Pie" is another possibility! The bathroom worked pretty well as a private place of masturbatory pleasure when I was a horny teenager and I'm quite sure that it will still serve that purpose once again just fine!

By the way Diane has already told me that she also has no intention of throwing out her Hitachi Magic Wand or that other vibe gizmo she bought after hearing about it on Oprah (she still prefers the Hitachi!). We've talked about masturbation quite a bit and Diane has an extremely healthy and positive view of it. Just as it has been for me, it has been a good friend of hers during solitary times in her life. There definitely will be less masturbation for each of us but it will remain an important part of both of our lives! As far as my ogling and fantasizing about the other babes...well what Diane doesn't know about won't hurt her! Hey I don't care if she fantasizes about Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp or Robert Redford or anybody else when I'm slipping the big salami to her or at any other time. I just don't want to hear about it! My own sexual fantasies combined with masturbation will remain private but they will definitely continue!

So that's about it for the Horny Old Guy in the wonderful world of blogging! I'm about to assume a new persona as a senior citizen married horndog in Colorado! Goodbye to my native California and of all my friends here, goodbye to Blogger and goodbye to all of my loyal readers (both of you) who over the last 5 years have put up with my incoherent babbling. If I've given you a chuckle or two I'm happy. If I've offended you in any way including with my poor writing skills, I'm sincerely sorry...but thanks to all so much for reading this crap! Horny Old Married Guy is now hitting the trail for Colorado where he and his sweetie Diane will hopefully live happily ever after! Best wishes for the same to all of you!

P.S. I'm going to leave this blog up indefinitely. Feel free to leave comments on this post or e mail me anytime. I'll always try to give you a timely response. Thanks again for reading and goodbye for now! Horny Old Guy has left the building...and the state...and the cyberspace


Horny Old Guy Lives! In response to a flood of e mail inquiries (actually two of them!) I'm happy to report that I'm still kicking and still wanking! It's been three years since I made the post above and oh my God does time continue to fly by! I'm still in Colorado, still married to my lovely bride of three years Diane (who said it would never last?) and at the ripe old age of 72 (almost 73) quite possibly more content than I've ever been in my life! Diane is still teaching but plans on retiring at the end of the next school year, one year from now. We've already got an around the world cruise planned to celebrate her retirement. Life in every respect (sex definitely included!) is better than's great! I wish it could go on forever but I know it can't! I take it one day at a time and try to enjoy each day to the fullest!

Since I still get 200-300 hits a day (who are these people?) I've been going through this blog, updating lots of the graphics and correcting some of the grammatical errors as well as formatting it in a new template. I have no interest in resuming posting though. Diane still doesn't know about this blog and out of respect for her there is no way I could or would post intimate details about our life behind her back. Leaving her out wouldn't work for me either since she is so much a part of my life now.  Needless to say I'm also not looking for poontang any more. Oh yeah I still ogle the babes, fantasize about fucking them and jack off to them but in real life I'm a monogamous old fart who has completely "shot my wad" in the extra martial sex arena as well as the blogging world! I even go to church with Diane once in a while? Who would have thought?

Cheers to all! Horny Old Guy is now crawling back into deep cyberspace!